Dire Consequences
by cutelilpuppieyez
Summary: When Shuichi and Eiri take a much needed vacation to New York, their flight gets into a terrible crash right outside the airport. Did both our heroes make it out okay? What are the consequences of the bag mixup at the airport? ShuichixEiri ShuxOC R
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note:Hello readers! How's it been? I haven't seen you in a while. So far, I've only written one other serious story (the rest are pointless and random) but I decided that it was time for some more angst. Yes, I realize that it's a big responsibility to take on a whole story, but I'm willing to try! Anyways, this one should be a lot better and easier to follow, because I'm going to write it all first, well, I'm not quite done it yet, but I wanted to post this chapter to see what the general interest was.

I just finished What If I Had Let You Go (it took me soooo long!) Not that it matters, I just feel like rambling… As for the confusion between using Eiri and Yuki, well, I like both, so I figured that he would be refered to as Eiri(by me) , but Shuichi still thinks of him as Yuki (as does everyone else…)

Disclaimer: I don't own it… —.—

**Summary:** Eiri and Shuichi take a vacation to America, but their plane crashes just outside the New York Airport. Did both our heroes make it out of the plane okay? What are the consequences of the bag mix-up at the airport? R&R

**Warnings:** uhh…not too many this early on…there are moments…you know… but nothing big…so far. Oh, and swearing (but not a lot)

_Japanese (_except in the case of Shuichi and Eiri talking to each other…)

English

Chapter One

Shuichi and Eiri shoved their way through the crowded insides of the Toyko Airport. Well, Yuki shoved…Shuichi just held onto the back on his shirt and got dragged along.

"Yuki, Yuki slow down! Yuki, I'm gonna get lost!"

"No! We're going to miss our plane and it's all your fault! Maybe if you had been ready this morning, we wouldn't have to rush! Baka!"

"Ne Yuki! That's not nice! Don't be so mean to me! Remember, we're going on vacation, and you can relax soon!"

"Ugh, how did I ever let you talk me into going to America for a vacation? Why couldn't we go somewhere peaceful like Vienna or Rome or somewhere like that?

"Because I wanted to see where Yuki grew up!…And K wanted me to scout out the area for a place where I would want to do my American tour. Besides, peaceful is boooooring, I'd rather be in New York."

"Why am I even here? I should have just let you come by yourself."

"No! You had to come because you love me! And you would miss me if I left by myself for two weeks!"

"I don't ever remember saying that…"

"Ne Yuki, don't be so mean!"

Eiri reached behind him in an uncommon gesture of affection and ruffled Shuichi's hair. And although he couldn't see it, the singer smiled happily, because he knew that this was his lover's way of expressing his feelings.

Jumping forward a step, he had Eiri in a bear hug around the waist for a split second, and then let go before the writer could protest.

"I love you too Yuki."

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

A small, light kid, roughly the same size as Shuichi, was trying to peel himself away from a worried-looking woman.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay Tai?"

"Yes, Mrs. James, I'm going to be fine."

"Do you have all your identity papers in your suitcase?"

"Yes, don't worry, they're in there, I just checked."

"Okay, well…good bye then sweetheart, I hope you like living in New York!"

The boy was pulled into a big hug, and the lady whispered into his ear.

"I'm so sorry we couldn't take you in, but you know…"

"It's ok, really."

"Ok," she gave him a worried smile, and a small wave, "Bye then!"

The boy in question got into the lineup to get his bags checked. With some difficulty, he heaved his fluorescent pink suitcase up onto the table, and placed it beside his tray containing a watch, a necklace, and a magnet. The little guy stood impatiently tapping his foot against the tile floor, trying to see what the hold-up was. He was going to miss his plane!

"But I don't have any metal on me! I don't know why it's going off!" A familiar looking boy was trying to reason with the security guard.

"Ack baka! You must have _something_, or it wouldn't go off! Check your pockets again!"

"Yuki! Don't yell at me!"

"Look, kid, just go back and try putting your shoes through the x-ray machine."

Complying unhappily, with a sad glance at the man already through the gate, he turned back to the conveyer belt and slowly undid his shoes.

Tai sighed, and then walked up to the gate.

"Can I go through while he's doing that…please!"

The man nodded, and gestured for the boy to go ahead. He quickly ran through, and none of the detectors went off, so he grabbed his big suitcase and sped off in the direction of the plane.

Meanwhile, Shuichi was still trying to get through the gates. No such luck. The alarms went off again and again.

"Hey," Shuichi looked over at the man, seeming to have a revelation, "I just dyed my hair, would that make the sensors go off?"

The man just stared at him, while Eiri groaned.

"No baka! There isn't any metal in dye! Lots of people have come through with dyed hair so far, and it hasn't gone off for them. Just take off all your clothes and go through, or we'll be here all day!"

"No, I can't do that!" He blushed furiously, looking at the guard for help.

"Why not, you've done it for me a thousand times." Shuichi stared up at his boyfriend in horror, and all the people waiting in line looked away embarrassedly.

"Yuuuuuuukkiiiii!"

"What?"

Shuichi just pouted cutely.

"Bah! Fine, I'll help you."

Eiri went back through the gates, despite the protests of the security guard, and sat his boyfriend on the edge of the conveyer belt. He then proceeded to give the blushing boy a full body pat-down, searching for the offending metal device. After affirming that it wasn't anywhere on his upper body, the writer slipped a hand down the front of his pants. Rummaging around a bit, much to Shuichi (and the general population's) dismay, he triumphantly came up holding a cell phone in his hand.

His embarrassment gone for the moment, Shuichi gaped at him.

"Hey, I forgot about that! How did you know it was there!"

"Because that's where you keep all your important things, like that picture of me."

"Oh, Yuki is so smart!"

The two turned back to a disgruntled security guard, who waved them through hurriedly. By now, their suitcases had caused an enormous pile up, while their angry owners were piled up in line.

"Hey, I can't find my suitcase Yuki!"

A friendly looking guard came over to stand beside him.

"Can I help you sir?"

"Yes," Eiri interrupted whatever Shuichi was going to say, "My boyfriend lost his suitcase, it's bright pink."

(Author's note: da da daaaaa!)

They were looking through the pile, when a scream rang out. Everyone jumped, only to see Shuichi pointing to the x-ray machine.

"There it is!" Eiri frowned.

"That's weird, I thought it already went through…whatever, let's go."

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Eiri sat slowly down in his seat with a sigh of relief. It had been a long, rushed day starting when they both slept through the alarm going off multiple times, the phone ringing, and even K bursting into the apartment. (Of course they couldn't ignore it when K blasted a hole through the bedroom wall with his brand-new bazooka…) After that, Shuichi had refused to leave until they had both eaten a well-balanced breakfast, and then had to have a shower, and _then_ Eiri found out that the singer hadn't packed yet. It was hard to not laugh as the naked boy ran desperately from room to room, trying to find his clothes, and then his CDs, and finally his Japanese-English translator and dictionary.

Just as they had been about to leave, Shuichi had tried to run back in to go to the bathroom, and grab a brush. Eiri, of course, having no patience left, had grabbed him by the collar and hoisted him over his shoulder with a well-practiced fireman's carry. In one of those rare moments of regret (which were becoming less and less rare, much to Eiri's discontent) the writer had combed out the knots in Shuichi's hair with his fingers for compensation, in the cab on the way to the airport. It was worth the cab driver's strange looks to hear the moans coming out of Shuichi's mouth. But that's another story altogether.

So here they were, on a twenty hour plane ride to America, and he had to deal with a hyperactive teenager who had nothing to do. Great. This would be fun…

Meanwhile, Shuichi was dancing up and down the aisles of the plane.

"I'm goin' on an airplane! I'm goin' on an airplane! Yaahahhahaha! I should write a song about airplanes…WEEEEE!" He spread out his arms and ran around making engine noises. Eiri looked back from their seats in first class, and rolled his eyes.

"Come fly with me Yuki!"

No answer. Big surprise there…

"Ne! Yuki, come fly with me!"

Shuichi "flew" over to the writer, and grabbed his arm. A failed attempt at dragging the larger man out of his seat brought the poor boy to his knees.

"Puhleaaaaaaaase!"

"No! Leave me alone and get back to your seat!" The words came out harsher than he had wanted, and the boy immediately stood up, and without another word to Eiri, pushed through to his chair and sat down, wiping his eyes roughly.

Damn, he had hurt the kid's feelings again. Oh well, he's make it up to him when they got to the hotel (insert evil laugh)

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"Passengers, we are now approaching the New York Airport. We are estimated to arrive in about eight minutes. Please pay attention for the seat belt sign, and turn off all electronic devices."

Eiri looked up from his work on his laptop, which he had insisted on bringing (despite Shuichi's protests), and quickly saved all his progress. Stowing the computer back into his suitcase, the writer stood up stretching, and headed for the bathroom one last time. (He hated airport bathrooms. Not many people know it, but the great Eiri Yuki is afraid of automatically flushing toilets.)

Stepping into the small area, he took a second to glance lean against the counter. The kid still wasn't talking to him, and usually by now he would have forgotten all about whatever Eiri had said to him. He hadn't even opened up his suitcase yet, where his lover had slipped an apology chocolate bar…The writer sighed. He really had to be a little more considerate of the boy in the future…A laugh escaped his mouth. Wow, had he just thought that? Maybe he was going soft in his old age…

Eiri did his…thing…and was just about to leave the bathroom, when the floor started shaking. Damn, it was turbulence! Violently, he was flung backwards into the wall of the room, and landed on his butt on the toilet lid (thank god he had put it down) The plane continued to shake furiously, and Eiri started to panic. He needed to get back to his seat, and put on his safety belt! Launching himself at the door, he found that the lock was jammed. But he didn't have any more time to think about it, as the whole body of the plane gave a brutal tremor, throwing him back again. All that his mind could think of doing was crawling into the tiny space between the sink and the toilet, and crouching up. There was one last boom, during which the man's head was slammed up against the wall, and just before everything went black, he heard, or rather, noticed, a lack of noise coming from the engines.

"Shuichi…"

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Safely in his seat, and buckled up, Shuichi had been looking around for his boyfriend just before the turbulence started. As the first bump shook the plane, the announcer's voice came onto the P.A system.

"Passengers are now asked to return to their seats and fasten their seatbelts. We have encountered some mild turbulence. Please remain in your seats until the aircraft had landed."

The singer looked frantically around, trying to locate Eiri. When he could not see him anywhere on the plane, he tried to get up from his seat, and was stopped by a stewardess.

"Please stay in your seat sir."

"But, but my boyfriend, I don't see him, he's not here! He's going to get hurt!"

"Maybe he's in the bathroom, he'll be okay in there until this is over. It won't get any more violent than this."

"…okay."

"There, that's a good boy."

Then, when bumps started getting really violent, contrary to the stewardess's proclamation, Shuichi started to worry. What if Yuki got knocked unconscious, or broken bones or something! He started biting his nail anxiously, but after an enormous bump wrenched his fingers out of his mouth, and poked his eyes, he kept his hands firmly by his sides.

Shuichi never even had time to worry, after the last pocket of air hit the plane, he was so far gone in his fear that he didn't even feel jolt as the engines stopped, and the loud whine ended abruptly. He did, however, notice when the plane suddenly tipped forwards, and he found his body straining against the seatbelts. Oxygen masks popped out in front of him, but immediately swung forwards, propelled by gravity. His hand reached out futilely towards the mask, but his arm just wasn't long enough. As he saw the edges of his vision begin to go black, he could only think of one thing.

"Yuki…"

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Author's note: oh baby I love writing angst! It's so much fun…he …he I like making them suffer…muahahahahah!

I've noticed that this story is slightly similar to my last one…but it's not really obvious until later, and then you'll really see.

Remember to R&R


	2. Have You Seen This Boy?

Hey guys! I hope you like the story so far. My dear friends the hit counters have indicated that 100 at least glanced at my story…but only five reviewed! Please, please I need feedback! If it sucks, I won't bother posting it! I need to know!

Thank you SO much to:

**GoTrinba: **thank you very much! I hope the story lives up to your expectations.

**Akeatia Mochidzuki Ookami:** Here's your update, I tried to be quick!

**Hokage:** lol I know it's short, but I'm trying to make it longer than my last one, so each chapter is eight pages long on Microsoft Word…although I supposed I could put two chapters together if they are still too short!

**Kaleidascopereflections:** Sorry I didn't tell you! It was a surprise ;)

**Delgee006: **Haha thanks! I try my hardest!

**Chapter Two**

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The noises of chaos reached Eiri's ears as he slowly struggled to wake up. A rush of air was blown in his face, accompanied by the loud sound of boot steps right beside his head. As he tried to push himself up with his arms, he felt shooting pains going up them, all the way to the back of his head.

Where was he? Somehow, the writer managed to pull himself into a sitting position, and examine the surrounding area meticulously. He seemed to be lying on a big white blanket, beside another person he didn't know. The next thing he saw were the massive amounts of people running around in every direction, carrying boxes, phones, stretchers, and…other people?

"What the hell?"

He was at the edge of a large field, right beside the highway. An enormous tent bearing the symbol of the Red Cross had been set up along the shoulder, probably for easy access to ambulances.

With a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach, Eiri slowed turned around to look behind him. What he saw was terrifying. The blackened plane had practically been bent in half, with the back of the plane almost touching the cockpit window. Vomit rose to the front of his mouth, and he turned his head just in time to miss his clothes. As he violently emptied his stomach on his knees, thoughts were running wildly through his brain. How had he survived that horrible crash? Was he dreaming? And most importantly, where was Shuichi?

A medic walking around stopped beside Eiri, patting his back comfortingly, but the writer just shrugged off the touch.

"Have you seen a boy, about this tall," Eiri pointed to his chest level, "With pink, no with blond hair, bleached blond?"

"No, sorry…" The man smiled at him, "But I'm not the only one here, why don't you go check the tents?"

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A few minutes later, after Eiri had thoroughly checked every person in the tent, he was starting to feel like throwing up again. There was already a section set aside, far behind the tents, where a pile of body bags were building up. But he wasn't quite ready to go there yet. Feeling the queasiness in his stomach increase, he hurried in the opposite direction of the ominous mound.

There appeared to be a lot of activity still around the plane, and as Eiri got closer, he saw that there were firemen and medics going in and out of it, bringing people to safety. His pulse pounded in his ears, and he tried to reason with himself that his lover could still be inside, waiting to be rescued. Even so, he started sprinting in the direction of the wreckage.

The awful smell of scorched metal, and something else that he couldn't quite identify filled the air, giving it a wavering mirage look. Suddenly, Eiri felt lightheaded, and his step faltered. But even as the ground rushed up, a man jumped over and grabbed his arm.

"Hey, careful man! You might want to take a breather there…" Eiri thankfully glanced over at the man, who was now giving first aid to an unconscious person on the ground.

"I don't think I can breathe this…awful air…" The man's friendly face took on a bitter look.

"Yeah, it's pretty bad, if you haven't smelt it before. I remember my first time, at a hospital…this little girl burned all the skin off her hand on a stove, and I had to dress it." Eiri gagged unwillingly as he realized that the smell was burnt flesh, and the man turned away to give him some privacy.

Ok, now he was really freaking out. He needed to find Shuichi, fix him, and get the hell out of there.

"Have you seen a boy, looks about 16, with bleached blond hair? Probably asking for someone named Yuki?"

"Sorry, no."

A hole was gnawing its way into the writer's stomach, and he imagined all the terrible things that could have happened to his boyfriend. The world spun as he jumped to his feet and lurched off closer to the plane.

The closer he got, the worse the smell got, and soon it was followed by flying ashes and debris. Eiri gritted his teeth and tried not to imagine what the flaming pieces were.

Some people looked like they were about to stop him, but he gave them a patented Eiri glare, and they backed off right away. They continued their conversation as they passed him.

"…ya, it's ironic isn't it? The poor bastards paid so much more than anyone else on the plane, and they got the brunt of the crash. There've only been a couple survivors from the first class section, I heard…"

Eiri's heart stopped. All of a sudden, he couldn't see, couldn't hear, couldn't move. They were talking about where his Shuichi had been sitting. His knees could not longer hold him, so he sank down to the ground. _Only a couple survivors…_Oh no…He felt his conscious slipping away for the second time that day, but this time, he just let himself go.

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Eiri wearily opened the door to his hotel room and almost fell in. It had been such a long day, the most stressful he'd had in so long, that his brain was starting to shut down. A nice leather couch (he was in a suite…) looked particularly inviting, and the tired man didn't even bother taking off his jacket before collapsing on it.

The events of the day spun through his head at ultra speed. After he had blacked out for the second time, he had been firmly escorted away to the tent, and instructed to lie down. But he couldn't stay still until he knew that Shuichi was safe. He had been so distressed that one of the doctors had taken time away from treating needy patients to impatiently tell him that they were still sorting out everyone, and if he came back the next day, they could give him a more definite idea of what happened to the boy. So Eiri had gone to the suite that he and Shuichi were supposed to have shared that night.

He was purposely avoiding the bedroom. His last coherent thought was a prayer for his lover's safety. Falling back against the armrest, it was all he could do to kick off his shoes, before he rolled over and fell asleep.

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A barely rested Eiri wandered up and down the aisles of the makeshift hospital that was still erected in the same spot, searching for a glimpse of Shuichi. Each time he saw a blond head peeking above the white blankets, his heart skipped a beat, but every time he was sadly disappointed.

Finally, he bumped into the same doctor that he had spoken to the night before, who looked even more ragged than Eiri, covered in dirt, sweat and blood. The writer allowed himself a glimmer of sympathy before his thoughts turned back to Shuichi.

"Have you found him yet?" The doctor's voice was hopeful, but laced with…something. Eiri suspected that despite his cheery tone, he was not expecting a positive answer.

"No." The man's face conveyed no emotion.

"It's my break right now, come with me. Have you checked both tents thoroughly?" Eiri resisted a sarcastic answer.

"Yes doctor."

"Good."

The tall blond man followed the doctor out of the tent, and towards a smaller, black tent that stood a few hundred feet behind it. Eiri suppressed a shudder as he remembered the stack of bodies that had been there the day before, and with a jolting sense of horror, realized where they were heading.

Once inside the tent, Eiri was surprised to find that it was relatively clean inside, and had a sharp, disinfectant smell to it. A small row of metal lockers took up two walls of the tent, and the rest were lined with stretchers. A foreboding feeling came over Eiri as the doctor reached into a filing cabinet and pulled out a large folder full of papers.

"We have the list of everyone who was on the plane here. So far, most of them have been identified." Eiri cringed…indentified?

"What was your friend's name?"

"Shuichi Shindou." Eiri didn't bother correcting the man's mistake about their relationship.

"And where was he sitting?"

"Right up front."

"Ahh….no, we have not found a Shuichi Shindou yet."

"So he might be okay?" Eiri felt his heart jump.

"Well, maybe. Walking away with no injuries would be highly unlikely, especially if he had been sitting in the front the plane. It is also possible that your friend was skipped over in the medical tent when the lists were being checked, and you missed him when you checked too. Another possibility is…well, we still have some unidentified bodies here…" The doctor's voice trailed off as he waved in the direction of the metal lockers.

Eiri's breathing stopped. Did he really want to look in those lockers? Yes, he decided, if he ever wanted to eliminate this option from Shuichi's whereabouts. He couldn't be in there…could he?

The doctor was looking at him expectantly. All he could manage was a slight inclination of his head, but the man thankfully understood. Gesturing for Eiri to put on a pair of latex gloves, he stepped behind one of the lockers, and twisted a key into it. With surprisingly little effort, the doctor slid the tray out in front of Eiri's face.

The writer let out a breath of air. Too tall, wrong face, wrong body structure.

"No."

The doctor smiled, and put the cadaver back into its proper place. Hopefully its family would come for the poor man soon. He then turned to another locker a few rows down. The tension that built up in Eiri's stomach was released as yet another unknown person came sliding out.

"No." He sighed. How could he have ever thought that his Shuichi would be in here.

"The next victim on the list, is almost completely unidentifiable. His skin is almost completely gone, and his clothes disintegrated. He has no hair left. It seems that he was holding a suitcase handle at the time, and it has melted into his hand."

Eiri held his breath as the man slowly pulled open the containment cell. The sight of the disfigured person made him feel like falling over. It was exactly how the doctor had described it, except twenty times more terrifying. A sob caught in the back of his throat. The appearance of the man wasn't the worst thing about it though. Sitting on his chest, was a bright pink suitcase.

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Eiri found himself lying on the ground once again, but made no attempt to get up. The sight of that suitcase had completely destroyed him. Thinking about it now, he sat up against the stiff wall and began sobbing into his lap.

The doctor, who was used to handling with family breakdowns hovered around the huddled up man, handing him a tissue, and then retreating to the corner of the room. Now that he had some privacy, the writer broke down, and screamed into his lap. How could this happen? It was his fault! He just knew it was his fault! And the last thing that he had done was yell at his boyfriend, even though he knew that the boy was really excited to spend time with him. He never thought that it would be the last time he ever spoke to the kid.

But moments later, Eiri pulled himself together and managed to stand up. The doctor hurried over uncertainly.

"Excuse sir, I'm sorry, but you are going to have to confirm that this is your friend. Normal procedure you see." The man gave an apologetic smile.

"It…it's him. I bought him that suitcase just for this trip…oh god!" Eiri took a few shaky breaths.

"Are you sure that this is his bag? There could be another person with the same one. I'll just need you to check the insides of it. The contents seem to be intact, thanks to a completely steel enforced inside."

Eiri fought back a hysterical chuckle. He had picked that out especially so that Shuichi couldn't break it…

The doctor walked over to the suitcase, and broke open the melted lock with a hammer. Pulling open the bag, he twisted it to face Eiri. Whatever hopes had been building in his chest were immediately crushed. There sat the artist's treasured Nittle Grasper CD, right beside Shuichi's favourite t-shirt, passport, translator, and lyric book. Sitting on top of all that was the chocolate bar he had slipped into it.

"Shuichi…Oh my god no! NO! It can't be you!" But he knew it was him. The doctor seemed to know too, and he marked accordingly in his book.

_**Flashback**_

"_Yuki?"_

"_Mmmm…?" The writer slowly opened his eyes. Shuichi leaned over and brushed the soft blond hair out of them._

"_If I died, would you be sad?"_

"_Why do you ask, are you sick?" As hard as he tried, Eiri couldn't keep a tiny bit of concern out of his voice._

"_No reason, I was just wondering…" Shuichi smirked, "Were you worried?"_

"_No."_

"_Yuuukkiiiiiii!"_

"_Nope, sorry I was just imagining how quiet it would be if you weren't here…I guess I would have to invite Tohma over a lot more often." He flipped over on his side to face Shuichi, laughing to let him know that he was joking. But apparently Shuichi didn't think it was funny._

"_Would it really be that easy to replace me?" Hurt was evident in the singer's voice._

"_Yes." But even as he said it, and saw the expression on Shuichi's face, he knew that he didn't mean it._

"_Shu—" It was too late, the boy had already gotten up and run out of the room._

_**End Flashback**_

Eiri lay on the floor of his hotel with tears streaming down the side of his face, staring at the ceiling.

"Of course I can't even replace you baka…I love you…I thought you knew…so why did you leave me…?"

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Author's note: he…he now this story is really earning its angsty genre! Bwahahahahahhahahahaha…

What's Yuki going to do? Could I really have killed off Shuichi so early in the story? …Probably, but you'll have to read on to find out. (and review too… -.o)


	3. Waking

**Author's note:** Thank you to all reviewers! You absolutely made my day, and I luv you all so much! I love reading your opinions on my story so much, it's just great!

**Disclaimer:** Don't own it!

**Thanks to:**

**Shuuichi-Shindou Uesugi: **hehe you are very perceptive! Don't worry about Shu, here is your update!

**darknessflame89: **Shuichi is…he's in good hands now…muahhahha. No cause for alarm (grins evilly) Thanks for reviewing, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter.

**Rujutoshi: ** You reviewed again (glomps insanely) hehe that credit you gave me wasn't deserved at all! I have issues killing off characters too…at least at the beginning of the fic…muahah thank you very much for the extra long review!

**magdareihainteria.pl: **you're right, I can't! thanks for the lovely compliment!

**girlo: **I'm glad you caught onto my implications! Lol there IS a plot twist, you'll see in this chapter…I hope you keep reading!

**Julia: **No, I luv your rambling! Thanks very much for reviewing, and here's your update!

**DemonicDragon666:** It's ok! I couldn't hurt dear Shuichi! …physically of course…I'm not speaking for his mental pain.

**DeMoN4EvA: **Thank you for such a nice long review (wipes her forehead and rubs her eyes) It was so great to read. Haha you figured it out, good job!

**Kemet: **Wow, thanks! I luv to here that from people, it makes me all glowly inside! But about those updates…(shuffles feet back and forth, looking down)…well, you'll see at the author's note in the end of the story…(tries to grin nonchalantly, but fails miserably)

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Chapter Three

_Two months later…._

Bleep…bleep…bleep. The doctor and the nurse, both wearing sterile white uniforms hovered over the small boy on the bed. Just moments before, his machine had gone crazy, signaling the return of brain activity to the unconscious boy. He had been in this hospital, in the same room for about two months now, and had shown no signs of ever coming out of his coma, and since the doctors couldn't take him off life support without consent (which they couldn't get), it was assumed that he would stay in that bed until he wasted away. But today he might wake up.

The nurse sighed happily.

"Isn't this romantic doctor? It's like a miracle or something!" The doctor, who did not share these feelings simply nodded quietly, without taking his eyes off the boy. It wasn't often that he got to take care of cases like this, and he was very interested in who this boy was.

Suddenly, the kid stirred, his hands flopping around a bit, his forehead drawn. He was mumbling something under his breath.

"Yu…yu…ki…"

The nurse leaned in towards him.

"What's he saying doctor?"

"I can't tell, it's not making sense."

"Maybe he's calling out to his long lost girlfriend…" The doctor rolled his eyes without letting her see.

"Maybe…" He too leaned forwards. And this was the sight that the groggy boy woke up to. He was in a strange bed, wearing strange clothes, and two unknown people were hanging over his head. So he did the only thing that came to mind.

"Ahhhhhh!" He screamed as loud as he could. The nurse gave a little scream of her own, and fell over backwards. The doctor merely jumped a bit, and then looked at the boy.

"Don't worry. It is okay. My name is Dr. James. You are in a hospital downtown New York. Please don't try to get up and walk around quite yet, because your muscles are going to be a little stiff."

The boy looked at him. What the hell was going on? This weird man was talking to him in some weird language.

_"Who are you? Where am I? What's going on?" _ He shot straight up in the bed, staring frightened at the now frowning doctor.

"Do you understand English?" The boy seemed to respond, tilting his head to the side.

"English?" The man almost groaned, but he was a professional, and there was a professional way of dealing with this. He turned to the nurse.

"Can you go call the front desk and ask them to send us up a…south-east Asian-English translator? I'll take care of him."

"My name is Dr. James," he talked very slowly and pointed to himself, "What's your name?"

The boy raised a finger to point to his chest, but it stopped in midair. Dr. James stared intently at him, as he seemed to be about to speak, and was terribly startled when he screamed again.

What the hell? He couldn't remember his name? Desperately, the boy searched his head for any information about himself, but he came up blank. Piecing together a sentence of his scarce English took a moment.

"I…don't know."

"Did you forget?" The boy shrugged helplessly.

"I don't…understand, sorry."

Dr. James exhaled loudly. This was going to be a long morning…

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Later that day, the translator finally arrived, a cheerful Asian man, who specialized in the South East Asia's languages. The doctor sat beside him and clearly spoke, telling him what to ask the boy, then the translator would translate his answer back into English for the doctor.

"_What is your name_?"

"I can't remember."

"_Do you remember who you were with in the plane?_"

"No…"

"Anything about yourself?"

"No!"

t was clear that he was getting agitated, so Dr. James moved on.

"Ok, it is possible_ that you have a case of amnesia, you were in a very bad plane crash_."

"Anmesia? Like memory loss?"

"_Yes, that is right. You've been in a coma for two months now_."

"Two months!"

"_Yes, you might find things a little different here than last time you were awake."_

"Oh."

"_Do you have any questions for the doctor?"_

"Yes …do I have any family here?"

_"No, but fortunately, despite the plane crash, your suitcase was in good condition, and it had your papers in it, so we know your identity. That is quite rare in these cases."_

"That's great? What's my name?" The doctor was slightly surprised at how well the boy was taking this, considering he had almost been in tears a few moments before.

_"Tai, Tai Retsuri."_ The boy tried out saying it a few times, with a proper accent, making the doctor, and even the translator's accent sound awkward.

"It doesn't seem familiar, but I guess I wouldn't know, so what else do you know about me?"

_"Well, you are sixteen years old, an official American citizen. You were born in New York, which is where we are now, moved to Tokyo, and have lived there your entire life. _

"_I'm very sorry to tell you, but your parents died in a car accident, and in their will it said that they wanted you to live in America. You were coming on a plane to live at this orphanage nearby, but the plane crashed just outside the airport. You are really lucky to be alive, because a lot of people died that day.."_

Tai was silent for a moment. It was too much information to take in at once, your whole life's story and all.

The nurse, who had been silent until leaned over and put a hand on his knee. "Don't worry honey, you can have a normal life now, you can go to school!"

Tai winced as the man translated. Maybe he should have stayed asleep.

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Eiri stared at the screen of his computer. The meaningless letters blurred before his eyes as his head filled with thoughts of his lost lover. Even after a couple of months, the pain hadn't faded, not even a little bit. Each night he lay in bed and recounted every single time he had yelled, or ignored, or said a horrible thing to the singer. Each day he sat at his desk in front of his laptop and wrote miserable depressing stories where every single character ended up dying a horrible painful death. It didn't make him feel any better. Eiri knew that he was paying for his sins in the cruelest way, without the one person who could make him hurt less, who could dull the terrible pain if only for a while, with only a smile and touch.

His novel that he released just after he had gotten back from Japan had been such a dark book, filled with despair, angst, and anything else guaranteed to make you cry. It seemed to attract a different audience that the author's other books. Shortly afterwards, after his editor told him that he needed a new book, and with an actual love scene _before_ the main characters died, or she would kill him. So he came up with the idea to write about him and Shuichi (changing Shuichi's character to a female) and add a happy ending to the end of the book, where they both escaped the plane crash and got married.

For a while after that, he had stayed in America, where he was renting an apartment downtown New York, and mailed his stories to his editor from there. When he read through his first addition copy of "The Power of Your Smile" (his book) he could almost imagine that Shuichi was waiting for him at home.

But dreams can't last forever, and soon Tohma was at his door, trying to bring him home. Then, after he failed came Mika, and then Tatsuha. Surprisingly the one who convinced him to come home was Hiro, who sat with him quietly and said that Shuichi would want him to be happy.

During this talk, Eiri nodded and cried a bit, exactly what Hiro wanted him to do, but inwardly he laughed, knowing that Shuichi would have wanted him to spill every tear in his damn body over the boy, and then some. He let Hiro triumphantly bring him home to his waiting family, but only because he was tired of New York.

The sight of his empty apartment was a constant tearing in his soul, every thing reminded him of his lover, but he knew that he was being made suffer for a reason, so that he could never do something like that again. Loving Shuichi had been a terrible mistake, especially after seeing what his love did with Kitazawa.

Today, he hadn't even gotten out of bed until one o'clock. Waking up with an enormous hangover was not the best way to start the day, especially when he was still a bit drunk, and having a bad Shuichi day.

That's what he called them, Shuichi days, the days when he woke up remembering every little detail about the singer, everything he loved about him, and he was crying. The day always got worse from there…

His phone was ringing now, but he didn't want to get it. Probably Tohma, telling him to come out of his apartment, get some fresh air, eat something, blah blah blah. He would do that when he was nice and ready thank you very much.

The answering machine turned on.

"Hey Yuki, I know you're there aniki, because you never leave your damn house. Screening my calls isn't going to wooooork, I'm going to siiiinnnnng until you pick up the phoooooonnne!"

Eiri slammed down his fist and grabbed the phone.

"What do you want Tatsuha?"

"I missed you too aniki!

"What. Do. You. Want?"

"Yes, I'm doing fine, thank you for asking!"

"Tatsuha!"

"Ok, ok, just turn on your TV to the news. There's something that you are really going to want to see…"

Eiri rolled his eyes, but walked over and turned on the TV. The reporter's wide face filled the screen, talking about some law against walking your dog in the middle of the subway.

"What is it Tatsuha?"

"Just wait, it's coming up next."

The writer flopped down on the couch, staring at the ceiling. He still held the phone up to his ear, even though neither of them was talking.

"…And now we come to our last story of the night, concerning the famous romance author Yuki Eiri. Two months ago, the man was reportedly leaving on a vacation with Shuichi Shindou. The plane that they were taking to America crashed in New York City, and Shuichi Shindou was reported dead the next day. As of now, according to the airlines, Yuki is still missing, never having checked in with the authorities. It seems that he is still alive, as he released two popular books since the crash, but no one has seen the man the entire time. Is Yuki Eiri still alive? Or is someone else writing his books under his name? Stay tuned for a detailed analysis by our top psychologists…"

Eiri snorted, and on the other end of the phone, he heard an identical snort from his brother.

"You see aniki! You need to leave your house! People actually think you are dead! Relieve your fans of some stress." Eiri groaned.

"People are so stupid." But he grinned.

"Might as well make an appearance, and stir things up a little…"

As the writer grabbed his coat and boots, and left his apartment for the first time in a really long time, Shuichi was pushed to the back of his mind, and he found himself actually feeling something besides misery. The ghost of a smile crossed his face.

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"Hello? Tai?" The boy looked up from the book he was reading.

"…yes?"

"The lady from the orphanage is here to speak to you." Dr. James spoke slowly and clearly. Tai repeated them slowly and out loud, and then, seeming to understand, nodded at him.

"Ok."

A small, but stern looking lady walked briskly into the room. Everything about her screamed order, and Tai, slightly intimidated shrunk back from her.

"Hello young men, my name is Jenna Hift, but call me Ms. Hift please. I work at the Grytern City Orphanage, and I am the matron of the house. Your parent's lawyer contacted me about the will, but I have to interview you before I can let you live with us."

Tai stared at her.

"I don't…understand, sorry."

Ms. Hift turned to the doctor.

"Is he..." She leaned over to him, "Mentally challenged?"

Dr. James stared at her the same way the boy was.

"No, he doesn't speak English."

"What! His lawyer said that he knew the language fluently!"

"Well, due to his amnesia he may have forgotten how to speak it. It can happen in these cases."

Meanwhile, Tai was watching the conversation exchange with a confused expression on his face. He decided that it was time to interject.

"Uh…excuse…me…"

The two looked at him expectantly.

"I…don't know English…good. I can't go to orphanage and school…without speaking… more …well."

"Oh, I don't know about that," Ms. Hift gave a short, somewhat fake laugh, "You can stay in the home and take English lessons from one of the other children until you are ready to go to school."

Tai gave her a helpless look. After realizing that he didn't understand, again, Dr. James repeated it slower, and more simply. Tai nodded finally and smiled.

"Ok."

"Well," Interrupted the doctor, "He still has to stay here for at least a week, while we run tests and he makes a full recovery. He has to be able to eat solid food long before he leaves, and be able to walk around without help."

"Alright, I will come back in two weeks, that should give him sufficient time, and then I will expect to take him back with me."

"We'll see what we do Ms. Hift, but I can't make any promises. When he is ready, he can leave."

Ms. Hift looked like she was about to argue, but thought better of it. Instead, she got up and left.

"Goodbye Tai, I will see you soon."

Dr. James got up too, and seemed about to say something to Tai. Instead, he put a hand on his shoulder, just for a moment, and then left.

A very confused boy was left sitting on the bed.

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Author's note: hey everybody, thanks again so much for all the reviews, I luv em, the way they taste…ok anyways…I have a bit of an issue…in the form of being able to update…I'm going to have to change my schedule to once a week… Thanks again, and I hope y'all stick with the story.

**Another thing: **Some have figured out – using my subtle (cough you wish cough) hints – that Shuichi is indeed still alive. In case there is any confusion…I'm not trying to trick you. It's supposed to be obvious! Read and review s'il vous plait!


	4. The Orphanage

Hello readers! Sorry about the delay in the update, I was going to do it Thursday like I said, but I had some…let's say issues, and wasn't really allowed on the computer…but now I am, yah!

I was so happy to see all the reviews waiting for me! It was so exciting!

Thanks to:

**Shuichi Shindou-Usegi: **hehe your questions will all be answered in due time…and I know what you mean about Tai! I didn't really want to kill him off, but someone needed to go…

**DeMoN4EvA: **lol here's your update, thanks for reviewing again!

**Kemet: ** I reviewed as soon as possible don't hurt me! Haha Yuki's suffering has only begun..muahaha

**Rujutoshi: ** ORginally, I was going to have Yuki see Shu on tv…but then I realized that it would be a short, pointless fic, so I changed it…lol I hope you like my new character

**Tiassale: **lol lemon soon, hopefully!

**GoTrinba: **haha two reviews! Wow, lol thanks so much! I'm glad you like it.

**Animelover231: **thanks for telling me, it's a relief! Here's your weekly update

**magdareihainteria.pl: **I can't reveal my secrets! You must read on to find out :D

**girlo: **ok, I"ll keep it to myself! Thanks for reviewing!

**Xazenru: **You figured it out! (looks around suspiciously) Who told you!

_Japanese_

English

Chapter Four

_Dear diary,_

_It seems weird doing this, talking to myself, or someone who isn't even there. But a lot of weird things happened lately. I guess I better explain everything, assuming you don't already know.( I don't know how this diary thing works) I woke up a week ago from a coma. Well, that's what they told me. They also said I was in a plane crash, and I'm lucky to be alive, but I don't remember any of it. In fact, I don't even remember who I am. Sure, I know my name, but I don't know anything else. I don't know how I think, how I act, how I talk, anything. I don't remember who my friends are, who my parents were, school, favourite music, my house, street name, phone number, anything. All I know is that my name is Tai, my parents are dead, and I have to go live in an orphanage until I'm 18. The doctor said that keeping a diary might be a good way to record my feelings, and it might spark a memory. But I still feel weird doing this, so I doubt I ever did it before._

_I hate it here in America. They told me that I was born in Japan. I wish I knew what it looked like there…_

_No one understands me…in the most literal way. It's not that often you find a New Yorker fluent in English and Japanese, well, I guess I wouldn't know, seeing as I've never left this hospital, but if there are any, they don't come visit me._

_But why would anyone visit me? I have no living relatives, no friends here (if I even had any in Japan)._

_I should stop feeling sorry for myself. It's not really getting me anywhere, so I might as well tell you about the good things too!_

_Ok, I went down to the cafeteria today, and I ate a full meal! The doctor was so proud of me that he bought me ice cream, and I ate all of it! It felt so good to be full after a full week of soup, crackers and I.V._

_Dr. James told me that it was very possible for me to recover my memories, if I saw something that was familiar to me, but I think it's completely different here from Japan…but I don't know, because I don't remember Japan!_

_Sorry, I know, happy things, happy things…the nurse brought me a Japan-English translator. It's so handy, I love it so much, and it makes life so much easier! I was so happy that I gave her a big hug. When I held it in my hands, it felt really…familiar or something. It felt like something was pressing at the back of my head, but the harder I thought about it, the harder the feeling was to bring back. Eventually I gave up, but I took it as a sign that the computer was something I had seen before. _

_Christ, I can't believe how easy it is to talk to a book…I should do this every day…maybe I will._

_But I have to go now, Dr. James is standing in the door. I forgot all about our appointment today, I've been so distracted writing! Goodbye diary!_

Tai finished his last sentence and put down his pen.

"Are you writing your diary?" A pause, and then a nod.

"Can I see it?" A shrug.

The doctor picked it up, flipped through the pages, and frowned.

"It's in Japanese."

"Yes…I cannot write in English." Disappointment crossed the doctor's face. A student of psychology as well as general medicine, he had been looking forwards to the opportunity to analyze the boy's work. He had been so quiet. (Although it wasn't as if they could hold a normal conversation, but still he could at least try a little harder.)

Dr. James looked up just in time to see the smirk slip off of Tai's face. Hmm…there was more to this boy than frequent mood swings. And he only had so much time before Ms. Hift came to claim him.

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Unfortunately, by the time she came to "claim" him, which actually turned out to be a month later (Tai had a brutal fall down the stairs after a dizzy spell, and although he didn't break any bones, it was decided that he needed to be in the hospital a bit longer) Dr. James was merely much more frustrated with Tai, who seemed to be cheery and bubbly on the outside, and just when he would start thinking the boy was some ditz, Tai would make a particularly insightful observation, or clever comment, or just have such an all-knowing smirk on his face, that he knew this boy was accustomed to hiding behind masks. By this time, Tai had certainly learned a sufficient amount of English to survive, which he learned from watching TV all day for a lack of anything better to do. One could even hold a conversation with him…not that it ever happened.

As he stood outside the hospital doors, watching Ms. Hift put a possessive hand on Tai's shoulder, and guide him into the car, he wished that he could have kept the boy for a few more weeks.

Tai, on the other hand, was glad to finally leave the depressing building, even if he was headed somewhere that was unlikely to be…fun to say the least.

The tall buildings flew by in rapid succession, but Tai couldn't be bothered to notice. He was more preoccupied trying to imagine a short, easy but thorough introduction to give to the other children at the orphanage. Would they like him? Or would they ignore him because he was so different? Tai started getting a sick feeling in his stomach from all of the worrying.

"Tai? Tai? Mr. Retsuri? We're here." A voice penetrated his thoughts.

"Oh."

"Grab you bags please." Tai would have liked for Ms. Hift to be a little nicer to him, but what could he do? She obviously didn't want to become to close to him, he had even caught her looking at him with a weird expression on her face, when she thought he wasn't paying attention. Nonetheless, he continued to try and make her happy."

"Yes Ms. Hift."

The orphanage was a very old building, which looked as though it had been around for a long time. It was surprisingly well taken care of, at least from what Tai could see of the outside, with neat, clean windows and walls. He smiled; maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

After dragging his suitcase up the stairs (it had been recovered from the crash; thanks to a steel-enforced interior, everything inside had survived) he stopped for a breath and saw two little blue eyes peeking out from behind a curtain. He smiled shyly, but the eyes disappeared.

The inside of the house was a lot like the outside. Neat, and clean, and well-taken care of. It looked more like a hotel, now that he was in it, as a hallway with doors on both sides stretched down to the other end of the building.

"The youngest children stay on the bottom floor; generally age's five to ten. Next floor is eleven to fourteen, then fifteen to seventeen. The oldest, eighteen-years-old have the top floor to themselves. You will be on the third floor. Room 7. Why don't you go meet with your roommates?" It wasn't a really a question, more like an order, so Tai grabbed his bags and hauled them up a couple of flights. Each floor was identical to the first one, except the walls were a different colour.

Tai stopped climbing the stairs at the third floor; the walls were a nice shade of blue.

"_Room 7, room 7, where are you room 7."_ Tai muttered under his breath as he searched the hallways for the elusive room 7. A face popped up in front of him.

"What are you looking for? You sound funny. You look funny. Are you even American?

Tai jumped back and stared at the little person who was currently also staring at him. It was a small, blond kid, with big blue eyes and rosy cheeks.

"My name's Alin, who are you?"

"…Tai."

"You have a funny accent. Where are you from." The poor boy stared at Alin, his head spinning from the fast chatter.

"Uh…I am from Japan. Do you know where is room 7?

Alin giggled and pointed down the corridor.

"Come with me, I'll show you! My room is right next door!" A hesitant Tai followed the hyper young boy, trying to remember what Ms. Hift had said about the younger children…didn't they live below? This kid definitely wasn't even fifteen.

Alin turned around. "You're probably wondering why I live on this floor, right?" He grinned at the shocked look on the older boy's face. "Ya, I could tell you wanted to ask. You shouldn't hold questions in, I won't think you're impolite if you ask, in fact, I'll be offended if you don't ask. Anyways, my older brother lives on this floor, so I'm allowed to share a room with him. Anything else you want to know?"

"Oh! No, it's ok." He gave the younger boy a shy smile.

"Alright then, here we go!"

The hallways were lined with random bits of things, magazines, shoes, and clothes, basically anything you'd find on the floor of a messy bedroom. And it did seem like a bedroom. Kids, well, teenagers, were lying on the carpet listening to music, talking to each other, running around. All of the doors were propped open, and everyone freely walked in and out of everyone else's room. The whole place had a really friendly atmosphere.

Alin skipped through everything, avoiding debris, people and doors, amoung other things. Tai was a little more cautious carefully picking his way through the mess, trying not to step on anyone or anything. Calls rang out after the small boy leading him, some of them not so nice.

"Hey asshole, watch where you're skipping!"

"Slow down kid, do you want your ass kicked!"

"Hey faggot, watch out, you've attracted a follower!" This last one was spoken with a great deal of affection, and Alin whirled around.

"Colin!"

"Hey, what's up little bro? Who's this?"

"It's the new kid, he's rooming next door."

The boy, who currently had his arm casually wrapped around Alin, peered out from under his long messy hair at Tai.

"Hi, I'm Colin, Alin's big brother."

"Hello, my name is Tai."

"Wow, no need to be so formal man, it's not like that here…hey, you look kinda…I dunno…where are you from?" Alin jumped in.

"He's from Japan! He doesn't really talk so much…"

"Hmm…really?" Tai nodded shyly.

"Can I hear something in Japanese?"

"Uh…_I'm sixteen years old, I just woke up from a coma, stayed in the hospital for two weeks, got released into the care of possibly the most emotionless person I've ever met, not that I'd know, because I have amnesia, I'm in an orphanage, unable to speak proper English, and everyone asks me where I'm from because apparently I look different or sound different or something._"

Alin and Colin stared at him.

"Wow! That was so cool! What did you say?"

"Uhh…nice to meet you?"

Colin studied him suspiciously, but didn't say anything. Instead, he directed him to his new room, and watched him unpack. Although he didn't want to say anything, Tai preferred to be alone while he unpacked, so he could have a chance to go through everything in his suitcase again, and see if there was anything he could remember. But Colin didn't seem to want to leave, so Tai turned his back to the boy sitting on the bed and started taking things out of the suitcase.

The first thing, or group of things, was his clothes. Weird clothes…a gray, boring school uniform, long baggy shorts, t-shirts, socks, but nothing out of the ordinary, and certainly nothing that he would ever want to wear. Maybe someone else picked out his clothes for him…

Next were a few books, most in Japanese, but one of them obviously in English. This book in particular was bothering Tai, because the lady had said that he spoke fluent English, but he had tried reading the book and didn't even get past the first page. He had clearly had some schooling in English, because he could translate some words, and put phrases together, but nothing more than that. Colin, who had crept up beside him grabbed the book.

"Hey, I've read that book! We had to do it for a novel study in school last year, the Chrysalids! I thought you weren't good at English!"

"I can't read it…"

"Ok, well why do you have it?"

"I don't remember."

"You don't remember…?" Colin looked at him skeptically. "How can you not remember why you have a book?"

Tai ignored him, digging back into his suitcase for the next thing. His CDs. As he pulled out the cases, he smiled, glad to finally have the opportunity to listen to his own language, after hours of translating everything in his head, and on his pocket translator. The last thing, at the bottom of the suitcase, was a bag of small things. A locket, a ring, and some marbles. The boy picked up each of these items and rolled them around in his hand, but despite trying hard, he couldn't remember what significance they had. Tears began welling up in his eyes, and a big knot formed in the back of his throat as the frustration built up.

"_Why can't I remember!" _ Colin picked up the locket and fiddled around with it, while the older boy, embarrassed by his outburst busied him packing two small drawers full of his boring clothes.

CLICK!

The doors of the locket flew open against Colin's thumbs, making Tai jump.

"Hey, look at this, are those your parents?"

"Um…" Tai studied the tiny pictures in the locket, "I think so…"

"You don't know? How can you not know who your parents are?"

"I don't remember."

"What? What is your problem man? Are you like, one of those crazy amnesia patients from the soap operas?"

Tai gave him a pained look. "Yes."

It took a few minutes of laughing before Colin realized the other boy was telling the truth.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't know."

"No, it's ok." But it wasn't really, and an awkward silence formed between the boys. It didn't last too long though, they were in a teenage boy's dormitory. Alin burst through the door, followed closely by another young boy, who was then being chased by an older girl.

"Get back here! Save me Tai!" Alin ducked behind Tai's back and made rude gestures at the girl. The other boy dove into the bathroom and a distinct click was heard as he locked the door behind him.

"Alin Horatio Edwinds! Come here this instant!"

"Don't leave me Tai! Please protect me from her, she's gonna KILL me!"

The girl in question stopped directly in front of Tai, with her hands firmly planted on her hips, and smiled sweetly at him.

"Hey, are you the new boy? Ooohh you're a cutie!" She winked at him, "Can you please step aside?"

Not having any idea what to do, Tai held out his hand.

"My name is Tai, who are you?"

"Um… Katie, but can you please move?"

"I haven't seen any other girls here, are they in a different section?"

"No, this is an all boys orphanage, but I'm the caretaker's daughter, so I live here too. Now can you move? Please?"

Consenting, Tai stepped aside, but Alin had already made his escape. He shrugged his shoulders helplessly.

"Sorry."

Just as she stalked out of the room, more people came walking in. This time, it was two big guys, about sixteen. They were quite a bit bigger than poor Tai, and feeling intimidated, he shrunk away.

"Hey Greg, hey Dan," Colin warily greeted them, and then ran out the door. At the door he paused to let another boy go by.

"Hey Reid."

Reid immediately drew Tai's attention. He wasn't as big as Tai, maybe a few inches shorter, and he had a slight figure, but that wasn't what caught his eye. This boy was so pretty; he had chin length, straight brown hair that swung down nicely around his ears, big, beautiful hazel eyes, and delicate features, that made him hard to not stare at. But his admiration was rudely interrupted by the other people in the room.

"Are you the new kid?" Tai winced, wondering how many times he was going to hear that in the next little while.

"Yes."

"Cool."

"Ms. Hift said to tell you that Reid was gonna tutor you in English 'til you can read good."

"Oh, okay." Tai felt a blush creep up his cheeks, and he snuck a peek at Reid. Who was looking directly at him with an undeterminable expression on his face. He felt his blush darken. Hopefully this boy would like him; maybe they could be friends…

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Don't worry! I wouldn't put the poor boy with this character I just introduced! (he's much too young…Tai (a.k.a Shuichi) can do better!...and he will…next chapter…if you review, you'll find out…)

You know, I really miss writing Shuichi's name…I got so good at it too, I can do it really fast…but my skills are useless now. Bah! The story of my life…


	5. Memories

_Japanese_

English

Originally, this chapter was about 16 pages long, so I decided to divide it into two chapters. Just felt like telling you guys that!

**Thanks to:**

**Kemet: **lol good thing I got that chapter out on time…haha I'm glad you enjoyed it!

**Xazenru: **being pyshic must come in handy lol! Your welcome for the review, thanks for doing mine.

**Rujutoshi: **haha now you have me thinking about it too! but I wouldn't come to any conclusions quite yet….and next chapter Yuki will appear! (I thought he did in this one, but apparently I forgot…)

**girlo: ** the yukster…that's..cute haha I'm happy to hear that you're into my fic! Lol and we can all relate to addictive personalities…

**GoTrinba: **if you liked Reid, wait until you meet his brother ;) ! lol I hope you like this chapter.

**Miserable Midori:** you like it! You like it! (bounces around happily) weeeeeee!

**DeMoN4EvA:** ahh stop rattling my AHEM Murakami's character! You'll squish his brains! Haha I hope I updated fast enough, but I'm having troubles getting near a computer.

Chapter Five

_Dear diary,_

_Today I have a tutoring session with Reid, but I'm getting a little nervous…he's so pretty it's intimidating, especially since he's only 14. _

_The rules that Ms. Hift told me don't seem to apply to anyone, since kids living on this floor range from at least 13 to 17. But whatever, just another thing to add to my list of things that confuse me. This morning, I was really angry with Alin. When I thought about it later, I couldn't remember what got me so worked up. I was sorting through my CDs, and I found one that looked good, (the band's name was Nittle Grasper), and I was walking over to borrow Toby's ghetto blaster when Alin came bursting into the room and landed on me. The CD shattered into bits, and when I was lying there looking at it, I had the craziest, strongest feeling of rage, and I went completely insane. The poor kid probably thinks I'm crazy now, it's just a good thing that Toby came in with one of his friends to hold me back, because I was about to strangle the guy. But afterwards, when the mess had been swept up, the feeling was totally gone, and I couldn't remember why I was so mad…It was weird, like it was the most important thing in the world to me, and I can't remember it…_

_This amnesia thing sucks! I hate it I hate it I hate it…it's the worst thing in the world, not remembering anything about yourself…like you got sucked into a big black hole, and when it spit you out, you lost a part of yourself…Hah! I sound like some manic depressant! That's it, maybe I'll be in a better mood tomorrow._

Tai wearily dragged himself off the bed and made his way into the bathroom. He wanted to freshen up a little before his tutoring session with Reid. A thin, tired face gazed back at him from the mirror, and, unable to see past the hollow cheeks and the bags under his eyes, to the rosy cheeks and the sparkle in his eyes, Tai looked away.

Rooting around in his drawer for a tube of toothpaste, he didn't see Dan enter the bathroom and sweep behind him. It wasn't until a heavy hand clamped down on his shoulders that he saw the bigger boy smirking at him in the mirror, holding out a note. Then, he went, leaving Tai to translate the hastily scribbled note on his own.

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"Hello?" Tai stuck his head into the door of Reid's room. There was no answer.

"Hello? Reid? Are you here?" Still nobody answered, so Tai ventured in. The room was empty, which would be strange normally, but especially confused Tai today. Didn't Reid say to meet him here? Did he have the wrong day? The wrong time?

A bright blue piece f paper caught his attention and when he went over to ook at it, he found a note written to him:

'Tai,

I am one floor up. I am in my brother's room.'

The note, clear and simple, was easy to figure out, unlike Dan's. Tai shrugged, then turned around and headed upstairs.

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When he got to the next floor, Tai realized that he didn't have the room number. Fortunately, Reid, having foreseen this, was waiting outside of his brother's room.

"Hi Tai." Reid, cool as ever, casually waved him over to where he was standing. "Come in and meet my brother."

"Ok." Tai smiled shyly.

The inside of the room was a lot larger than Tai and Reid's room, it was right on the corner of the building, so it held six instead of four people. The walls were decorated with posters of rock stars messily hung up on the wall. Clothes, cds and books covered the floor, along with a tattered looking couch and a few beanbag chairs. In the corner, a big, low desk was pushed up against the wall, beside a cooler on the floor. A humming noise came from the cooler, and Tai assumed that it was storing food.

"Hey, who's that?" A deep, husky voice floated down from the top of one of the bunk beds. Tai looked up, and his breath caught in his throat. A boy, looking a bit older than eighteen (although he couldn't have been) was leaning over the safety rail to look at Tai. All of Tai's thoughts of Reid being good looking flew out the window when he saw his brother. The boy had a beautiful face, gorgeous, godly, features, which made shivers run down Tai's back. Straight, soft-looking blond hair fell lightly into his amber eyes.

"_You look familiar! What's your name? Maybe I know you from somewhere…have you ever been to Japan?"_

Tai didn't realize that he had been speaking in Japanese until he received a confused looking glance from Reid's brother.

"Um…I'm sorry, I don't understand. Can you say it in English?" The second the English words came out of his mouth, Tai lost the feeling he was grasping for. A disappointed look crossed his face.

"...Sorry, you looked familiar."

"S'okay, my name is Tobias, who are you?" Tai blushed and looked at his feet.

"Tai." He mumbled.

"Hey, that's a cool name. Nice to meet you Tai." Tobias reached a welcoming hand down from the top bunk, and Tai, not very familiar with this version of greeting warily reached for it. Two seconds later he found himself almost nose to nose with Tobias, who was looking straight into his eyes. A strong arm held him up against the side of the bed, sending sparks through his arm to the rest of his body.

Tobias leaned in even closer, until his lips were a few inches away from Tai's.

"You're cute…what's your story?" Tai, who was paralyzed at the proximity of the handsome boy to his face, could not answer right away. He could smell Tobias's sweet breath brushing against his lips, and he knew that he was blushing insanely. The sexy voice that vibrated down his body didn't help his predicament.

"M-my story?" The poor boy stuttered ferociously.

"Mhmm…" Tobias turned his mouth towards Tai's ear, and with his soft cheek brushing up against Tai's, he whispered into his ear.

"There must be a…reason…that you're here…" Tai turned to the side suddenly, ending up touching noses with Tobias. There was an invitation in the older boy's eyes, and he didn't know what to do. On the verge on indecision, Tai forgot his perilous position. He drew his hand back from its resting place on the post of the bed, and promptly fell over backwards off the bed and onto the floor.

THUMP!

Tai felt the rattle all the way down to his feet. As he lay on the floor, trying to gather his bearings, the image of Tobias jumping down from the bed and standing over top him sparked his memory.

_Flashback_

_A blond man who looked a lot like Tobias, except he was older, and looked half-Japanese, stood over his body. He was lying on the floor, and pain was shooting up his body._

_"Hey brat, are you okay?"_

_He couldn't answer, he hurt so much. Trying to open his mouth was futile, and moving just encouraged the blinding pain. A moan escaped his lips._

_A strange look crossed the man's face._

_"Hey, brat, are you okay? Answer me!"_

_He tried to shake his head no, but nothing happened, except a tremor from his toes to his neck._

_"Baka, what happened? Can you not move! Say something!"_

_He should have been crying. But something about the blond man's concern made him so happy, that a floating feeling filled his body…wait…maybe he was going to faint…_

_"Let's get you to the hospital…"_

_End Flashback_

"Hey Tai, are you okay?" Emotions whirled through the boy's head as he tried to sort out what had just happened. Had he remembered something…someone? It seemed like it. But then who was that guy who looked so much like Tobias…could he be the person that Tobias reminded him of? But what was his name…?

"Yo, dude, are you okay?"

"Uhh…yeah, I think so…"

"What happened?"

"I'm…not sure…I think I remembered something…"

"Oh right, Reid told me that you had amnesia or something…"

"Um, ya…"

"Here." Tai looked up to see the older boy offering him a hand. Remembering how he ended up last time, Tai was reluctant to take it, but since he was feeling quite dizzy, and he didn't think he could get up on his own, he grabbed the hand. For a second Tobias didn't pull him up, just stared at him hungrily. In an attempt to break the intense gaze, the smaller boy focused on a spot on the rug, but the desire to gaze at Tobias again was so strong that he lost the battle and looked into his eyes. A smirk ghosted the older boy's lips, then he swung Tai to his feet and dropped his hand.

Nervously, Tai looked around the room, trying to find a topic of discussion. Of course, having a gorgeously sexy man who just seconds ago was close enough to kiss, mercilessly studying you makes it hard to concentrate.

(Author's Note: So I would assume…It's never happened to me before…)

"Uh…where's Reid?" Seeing that they were now alone in the room made him even more nervous. He saw Tobias inching closer to him.

"He left…something about us wanting to be alone." Tobias drawled out the last words. As he caught onto the obvious implication in the other boy's words, Tai's face got even redder.

"But…but I've got an English lesson with him!"

"I can teach you…" Tobias reached over and drew Tai towards him, pulling him by the waist until they were flush together. He could feel himself getting aroused as the older boy subtly moved Tai's hips against him with his hands.

"Uh…uh…."

"Mhmmm?" Tobias leaned in towards Tai's neck, licking the hollows in his shoulders.

"I-I uhh…I have to—" His sentence was abruptly cut off with a gasp as Tobias ran his tongue up his sensitive neck, to his jaw line, where he proceed to suck on the skin there.

"St-stop…" Tai mumbled, "I can't, I really can't…"

"Pardon?" The teasing of his neck stopped for a moment, and Tai grabbed the opportunity to push the bigger boy away.

"I can't." He stated simply, "This is wrong…"

"What, is there something wrong with being gay?" A flash of anger passed quickly through Tobias's eyes, before he regained his composure.

"N-no!" He jumped to defend himself, "I didn't mean anything like that! It's just…it's just that I don't even know you…I don't even actually know myself. And I don't know if I already…am with someone…" Not knowing how to express himself more clearly, Tai ended up punctuating each pause with a helpless shrug of his shoulders. Surprisingly enough, Tobias seemed to understand, and with one last intense glare into Tai's eyes, he backed out of his personal space.

"Well, why didn't you say so before?" The smirk on his face told Tai that he clearly knew the answer to the question. Tobias sprawled himself out on one of the beanbag chairs, looking, for all the world, as if he had just woken up from a nap. Tai, on the other hand, glimpsed himself in a wall mirror, and saw that his face was flushed bright red, his hair messed up, and his clothes were rumpled.

"Do you want to get started?" Tai looked suspiciously over at him.

"…With the lesson? Jeez, no need to give me that look, what did you think I meant?" Another smirk, but this time, Tai wasn't quite so annoyed. In fact, it was kind of fun, having a sexy mysterious boy flirting with him.

Well, two could play at this game. Purposely making his voice breathy, Tai ran a hand slowly through his hair, and walked over to Tobias, swaying his hips.

"First, there's something I need you to do for me…" He sat down, leaning over close to Tobias's face before plopping unceremoniously on the floor.

"And what would that be?" There was an amused look on the older boy's face.

"Translate this please." Tai picked the note out of his pocket and threw it on the table. Tobias's grin grew larger, and there was a twinkle in his eyes.

"Ok." He turned his attention to the note, "It says, 'meet us in the boiler room at midnight tonight for …initiation'…oh…"

"What?"

"I guess you're getting "the treatment" tonight, so you can become one of the guys."

"Does everyone get "the treatment"?"

"…Mostly."

"Did you?"

"Well…sort of…"

"What do you mean? How did you "sort of" get it…what is "it"? Why do I have to do it?" Tai looked up at Tobias.

"Well, they started it…but halfway through I realized what bullshit it was so I got up and left. First people ever to do it…half the kids in the place haven't talked to me since…"

"What? Why?"

"Because if you aren't initiated, then you aren't part of the group. If you aren't part of the group…you are an outcast."

"Oh, sorry…"

"No, believe me…it's much better being an outcast. Half the kids still talk to me, and I just get ignored by the other half. Plus, I don't have to follow the stupid rules that Dan and Greg set up."

"Dan and Greg, as in the ones staying in my room?"

"Yup, those very same, incredibly charming people are the very scoundrels I'm talking about. "

"…Huh…"

"You know, if you go to that and get initiated, you won't be allowed to talk to me."

"Then I won't go." Shock registered on Tobias's face before he could stop it.

"Oh?"

"Why chase away the few friends I have?" Tobias's face lit up at the mention of friends.

"Cool, but you're gonna be stuck hanging with me for the rest of your time here…"

"That's fine with me." The two boys shared shy grins before they turned to the pressing matter of teaching Tai how to read.

"Will your roommates mind?" Tobias looked up quizzically. "I mean, if I'm here…"

"Oh," the older boy gave a short, fake laugh, "I don't have roommates…it's not 'allowed'…but whatever, I get this huge room to myself…"

"Oh…" Secretly, Tai made a resolution to not ask Tobias anymore questions about himself the political system around the orphanage…he would find out soon enough on his own.

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Author's Note: Ok, there're some things I need to clear up…and point out…first of all, yes I know that it's weird that Tai cough Shuichi cough… could read Reid's note, and not Dan's…but that's just the way my mind works. Also, it seems at first like Tai cough Shuichi really likes Reid, you know…all that stuff, and then I go and introduce Tobias? You're probably thinking "what the hell is she doing, leading us on like that? Is Tai really that fickle?" the answer is, I was originally going to make Tai be attracted to Reid, and have the whole multiple personality thing (not actually but like cold to some people and like sexy to others…like Tohma in the manga) but then I thought "hey! Why not give Reid a sexy, rebellious older brother, who'll remind Shuichi of Yuki…you know, move the plot forward a bit?" And then, it wouldn't be too bad for all you ShuichixYuki fans to see him with someone that REMINDED him of Yuki…right? And I'm sorry if you don't like it, but there was a warning…A WARNING!...I think…I posted one, didn't I?…BAH! you see now? Catch my drift?...ya…. well R&R

P.S YUKI WILL COME!


	6. Initiation

Wow…already on chapter six….it's moving along quick nicely (and when I say nicely, I mean quickly)

**Miserable Midori: ** geez I know, he's quite the charmer! (In my mind, he's almost like Tatsuha)

**GoTrinba**: muaha you like him (I was hoping so!) I agree with you, Shuichi can't just be with anyone, the guy has to be special!

**Gravitation gig:** don't worry, I plan to finish this one off!

**girlo:** lol at least you have a little sanity left! Mine was gone by the time I crashed the plane in the first chapter…

**Rujutoshi: **wow, that's got to be your longest review yet, I loved it! To answer your question, it's unlikely that I could inflict any more angst onto Shuichi…although I might….haha that's a good idea about the poster, I had a similar idea that I think I'll use…but I'm still figuring the plot out, so we'll see…

**DeMoN4EvA: **I know what you mean about the couplings! (although shuichi/sakano isn't the worst for me)

**hokage: **an author is always happy to know that her work is appreciated, thanks!

**Xazenru:** it's ok, I didn't get a chance to check my reviews until a few days after I posted anyways!

Chapter Six

"Psst! Wake up!...Hey!" Tai was rudely jolted by rough hands, and upon turning over to discover the source of the commotion, fell out of bed.

THUMP!

"Fuck! What are you doing? We're going to get caught!"

"…huh? What's going on?"

"Get up! We have to go down to the boiler room! It's almost midnight, thank god I woke you up, did you forget or something…no, you couldn't have forgotten, you got the note this morning…so did you just want to ignore it, do you have a death wish? Do you have any idea what ignoring these people can do?" Tai found himself face to face with a very anxious Colin. His brain tried to process what was going on, without much luck.

"Uhh…"

"Didn't you get a note from Dan this morning?"

The wheels started turning, and it came to him.

"Ohhhhhh…the note…I'm not going." He turned back over to face the wall. A hand grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back towards Colin.

"What the hell are you talking about? You have to go!"

"No, I don't, I don't want to get initiated by a bunch of high school children."

"As if you're any older than we are! Get your ass out of bed, we have to go, or you will be in huge shit with Dan and Greg.

"Go away, I'm going back to bed, I am not going to get initiated."

"You can't just not get initiated, everyone does."

"Tobias didn't." There was a pause from Colin.

"Fuck! He got to you already! Listen, Tai, you can't hang out with him, it's too dangerous." Tai laughed.

"Listen to yourself! Dangerous, how can being with someone be dangerous?"

"If Dan and Greg find out…"

"What? What will they do?"

"Your life will be a living hell, just like Tobias's and Reid's when Tobias walked out on the ceremony."

"Whatever, they can't do anything to me that I would care about, now if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to bed." Despite his brave words, Tai felt a shiver run through his body, which he disguised as pulling the covers up over his head. He heard Colin leave the room quietly. A silence fell over the room, until shuffling sounds in the corner caught his attention.

"Tai? Tai? Are you still awake?" It was Reid walking towards him.

"Tai?" He knelt beside the bed.

"Yeah, I'm awake."

"Hey, you really should go to initiation…" Tai propped himself up on his elbows and peered through the dark at the other boy.

"What, but you and Tob—"

"Yeah, I know, but it's not worth it…really, it's not. Being able to hang with us isn't worth all the crap you'll have to go through with those two…me and Toby, we only do it 'cuz we have each other, you know?"

This was a side of Reid that Tai had never imagined existed. A not-so-confident-and-cool, slightly scared side. It frightened him…but not enough to change his mind.

"And after tonight, you'll have me too." Even though he couldn't see him, Tai could tell that Reid was smiling.

"Okay man, we'll all look out for each other." Reid offered a fist to Tai, and Tai punched it.

"It's a deal."

Suddenly, thumping noises came flying down the hall towards their room. Tai and Reid stared at the door as it was flung open, revealing two hooded figures charging towards them. The first one pushed Reid up against the wall, and held him there, while the other grabbed Tai and threw the boy over his shoulder, in a fireman's carry.

Tai kicked and punched at the hooded person, but it didn't seem to do anything, so he soon gave up. As he hung limply from their back, the carrier turned quickly in the doorway, and he slammed his head against the doorframe. Everything went blurry for a second.

_Flashback_

"_Ne! Put me down meanie! Let me go, I forgot my brush, and I have to go to the bathroom!"_

_"No baka, we're going to miss our plane, you don't have time!"_

_"But I really have to gooooo! And my hair is all messy! Let me DOWN!"_

_"No."_

_"I'll scream!"_

_"Go ahead."_

_"Ahhhhhhhhh!" Just then, the man carrying him turned into the elevator, and smacked his head on the door._

_"Owwww! You hurt me!"_

_"…Sorry." And the man sounded genuinely sorry, so he smiled, and tried to look him in the face._

_"It's ok."_

_End Flashback_

"Owwww!"

"Shut up you stupid kid, you're going to wake up Ms. Hift!"

Tai desperately tried to get his bearings. Where was he? What had just happened? Something about an elevator, was it another memory? Already the image was slipping away, and no matter how hard he tried to pull it back, it eventually disappeared.

The grip on the back of his legs grew even tighter when he tried to squirm his way out of the grip. Instead of struggling harder, he looked around to try and discover where they were.

It didn't seem to be any of the floors where the rooms were, because those were all the same, and this didn't look anything like that. It seemed more like a basement…where had the note said that it would be…the boiler room? What was that?

Tai got his answer soon enough, as the mystery men walked through a doorway and into a huge, smelly dark room. He could just make out other anonymous figures sitting in the dark in a circle. A horrible chemical smelled wafted by his nose, and he almost gagged on it.

Brusquely, he was dumped on the ground in the middle of the circle, beside a wicked looking knife and a bowl of an unknown substance.

"You are here today, to be initiated into the brotherhood of Grytern. To accept the duties of the brotherhood, follow the rules, and the way of life, and become assimilated into our culture." Tai looked around desperately trying to figure out where the voice was coming from.

"Umm…I don't want to do this." The voice continued as if it hadn't heard him.

"You must perform the rites of the brotherhood, aided by the last and first member to join. Then, you must do a task. If you complete both of these, then you become a brother."

"I don't want to become a brother! Go away! Leave me alone!" A hooded figure stepped up in front of him and grabbed him by the back of his hair. The hood slowly fell down the back of his head, and Tai stared into the dilated pupils of Greg.

"Too bad pretty boy, you're already here, you might as well do it." He signaled for one boy to approach.

"Here, sit on his stomach so that we can begin the ritual." Tai found himself looking up at Colin's blank face. Something was wrong with him; he didn't look as though he was fully conscious. As the other boy obediently sat on him, he caught a whiff of his breath, and realized what was going on.

They were all on drugs. That's why they didn't seem like themselves, that's why they were so easily manipulated. Tai groaned, he knew how dangerous people could be like this, so maybe it would be best to listen to what they say, until it got dangerous, which he was sure was going to happen.

Greg came and stood beside Dan, leering down at him as he stopped struggling.

"Good boy…now let's begin the ritual." He picked up the knife.

A scream flew up into Tai's throat, but he managed to choke it down. Maybe the knife was for…something…else? But its purpose became clear as Dan rolled up his sleeve and put the knife to his skin.

"Ahhhhhh! What the fuck are you doing! Let me go!" Pain rocketed up his arm as Greg dug into his arm with the knife. Tears sprung into his eyes.

"Let me go! Let me GO!" He began sobbing uncontrollably.

"Please," he whispered, "Let me go…" Then he passed out from the pain.

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Eiri was wandering around his apartment. Lately, he had gotten into the habit of getting out more often, if only to convince the public that he wasn't dead, and it was having a positive effect on him. At least, when he was in public, he couldn't break down in tears, or break everything within his reach, although he had gotten close some times. The writer had thrown himself into his work, because when he was busy, he didn't have time to sink into depression. Eiri had begun collecting posters and movies of the singer, and there was even a small shrine to Shuichi in his old bedroom.

Tohma had stopped harassing him to come out of his "shell", satisfied with his appearances outside and Mika had stopped constantly phoning to make sure he was eating. Tatsuha, on the other hand, had being phoning more and more often, trying to get Eiri to go places with him. Eiri of course, firmly told him to go to hell.

The phone was ringing, but he decided not to answer it. Probably Tatsuha complaining about not getting tickets to some Nittle Grasper concert, or with girl (or guy) troubles. He smirked. It was unlikely that Tatsuha would ever ask his advice about relationships after the last disaster, but he was dumb like that.

BEEP!

"Hey Yuki, it's me, Mizuki. Pick up the goddamn phone, I need to talk to you about a tour—"Her voice was cut off as Eiri turned on the portable.

"Hi."

"Yuki! You…picked up? Anyways, I've just been offered a last minute chance for you to promote your new novel in America! How about it?" Eiri paused, thinking about it carefully. He had stuff to do here, but nothing he couldn't take care of. The only thing in his way was…the plane ride. He shivered involuntarily.

"Yuki, you don't have a choice. You have to do this, I'm ordering you."

"…Ok, when does the plane leave?"

"In a day…"

After he hung up the phone, Eiri thought about how at one time he would have hung up on her after she said something like that. But something was different now…he had changed since the accident. Maybe in a bad way…he was letting her walk all over him. But still…it didn't bother him.

Eiri walked around his apartment packing up all his bags. Stacking them by the door, he picked up the phone to call Tohma. He wanted to tell his brother-in-law that he was leaving, and someone need to take care of his apartment while he was gone.

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Tai felt a spark of pain run from his fingers to his neck, and he fidgeted uncomfortably. Something was poking his in the back of his neck, but when he tried to brush it away with his hand, it has moved.

Poke. Poke.

"Get up."

"…huh?"

"Get UP!" A hand roughly grabbed him around his arm, and as it squeezed his tender skin, the events of the table came rushing back. He bolted up into a sitting position.

"What! Let me go! Take me back to my room NOW!" Something was clamped over his mouth that tasted like dirt and sweat. Panicking, he scratched at the hand and was rewarded with a squeal of pain.

"Fuck! Look what he did!"

"Ignore it, and help me jackass!"

Left alone for a moment, Tai examined his arm. A bloated red area surrounded what looked like a home-made tattoo. He groaned, it looked like it was going to get infected…the stuff in the bowl must have been ink. Damn! He should have gotten out of there when he'd had the chance, instead of waiting.

"Next, your task. You must climb up that ladder there," Tai looked over at Greg, who was pointing to a ladder leaning against one of the big vats in the middle of the room. "Then, climb across that bar." He pointed up at a skinny little bar suspended over top the vat.

"No, no way! I'm leaving, let me GO!" But the grip on his arm tightened. He started to cry again, striking out with all his limbs at anything that got in the way. He felt the blows connect from time to time, but then they started coming back at him.

"Oof!" A fist descended on his stomach, and he fell to the floor in pain. He felt a foot hit him from behind, and then another in the ribs. His vision started to go black.

"Stop…" He moaned, "Please…"

"Will you do the task?"

"NO!" Another foot hit him directly in the mouth, and he tasted blood.

"No! I won't go! Take me BACK!" He spat a mouthful of blood at someone's shoe.

"Bitch!" Tai saw a foot coming directly for his head, and he closed his eyes tightly. This was the kind of thing that you would read about in the magazines, where a kid gets gang beaten…mob mentality. He grinned sardonically and waited for the blow. But it never came.

Looking up, he saw Greg and Dan go flying backwards, followed by the other boys trying to pulverize him. A concerned pair of amber eyes floated into his vision, and he smiled gratefully.

"Did…did Reid tell you we were gonna stick together…?" His mouth felt all sticky and incoherent, but it seemed as though Tobias had understood.

"Yeah, from now on, we stick together, ok?

A look of pain crossed Tobias's face, and Tai looked over to see Greg and Dan standing behind him. They raised their fists and punched the back of his head, toppling the older boy onto Tai. He didn't stay down for long. Tobias jumped up and considered the two other boys. They leered at him, obviously thinking that they had the upper hand…at least until Tobias pulled the knife out from behind his back.

Tai sighed in relief. Tobias must have picked it off the floor when he came in...and there was no way that those two would go up against a weapon like that…

And he was right. The two backed down immediately and turned to Tai.

"We're going to get you some other time then, when you don't have your boyfriend protecting you!" Tai tried to laugh at the cliché parting, but it just hurt his ribs. Dan and Greg glared at him, and then raced out of the room, quickly followed by the other boys.

Tai felt strong arms support him carefully, and he was carried cradle style up many flights of stairs to Tobias's room. As he was gently laid down on the bed, he started sobbing again.

"No! It's ok, don't cry!"

"Th-thank you!"

"Shh…don't talk…I'll get you fixed up."

The last thing he felt before slipping off was a cool cloth washing off his face, and then he completely passed out.

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Authors note: ahh! I'm sorry that I'm making Eiri so…so…un-Eiri, but I couldn't help it! I was trying to figure out how he would act if Shuichi was dead, and I figured he'd probably be really depressed at first, but he would eventually start healing and get on with his life (which is necessary in the plot.) Also, don't kill me ….I'm sorry


	7. Waking Again

Ahhhh! I haven't updated in a while! I'm sooooo sorry but I've been sick for almost two weeks, and I still am, so I'm going to include all my review replies in my next chapter. I am so so so sorry but I think I'm going to die if I stay out of bed any longer…

Chapter Seven

A blinding headaches and sore limbs greeted Tai as he slowly woke up. An unfamiliar, but pleasing scent came to his attention, and he opened his eyes to see a strange room. Where was he? As Tai struggled to get his bearings, a long tan arm draped over his side, and he felt a body snuggle up into him. For a second, he knew exactly where he was, and was completely at peace.

With an enormous smile on his face, Tai turned around and saw the blond haired boy sleeping serenely, with a secretive smile on his face. A sigh softly escaped his lips, and Tai found himself drawn close to the older boy. For a second, he put his face on the pillow right in front of him and studied carefully. An inexplicable urge overtook his senses, and he found himself softly pressing his lips down on the sleeping beauty in front on him.

Tobias's eyes flew open so quickly that Tai knew he had been awake the entire time.

"I-I…uh…sorry…I just…" He was cut off by Tobias grabbing his waist and flipping him over to his back.

"What a pretty sight to wake up too." The older boy smirked down at him, and leaned over to whisper in his ear.

"Have you changed your mind?"

"No." Tai rolled over, pushing Tobias off his stomach and onto the bed. His feeling of peace evaporated quickly, leaving him in a crappy mood.

"Sorry, I just assumed when you kissed me…"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, it just…I dunno, felt like the right thing to do. I couldn't help it…" He shrugged helplessly.

"Ok, I think I can forgive you…" Tobias grinned as Tai shot him a glare, "But you owe me a kiss…"

"Whatever." Tai tried to stand up, but a wave of dizziness hit him hard.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, I just need a second…"

Tai slowly walked towards the bathroom, nursing a sticky bump on his head. He looked in the mirror, and blushed to see that he was only wearing a pair of boxers.

"Where are my pants?" It sounded even worse than in his head.

"Over there by the window."

"…And my shirt?"

"Ummm…by the dressers."

"God, what were you doing with them?" A giggle escaped Tobias's mouth, and Tai found himself thinking how cute it sounded.

He gathered up his scattered clothes and quickly dressed. Ignoring Tobias's inquiring look, he headed for the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Back to my room." Tobias shot up in bed.

"What about that tiny problem of the two assholes that also live there?"

"I can't just never go back, all my stuff is there."

"Fine, but I'm coming with you."

"Yeah, because they're so much happier with you than me."

"Two against two if I come."

"You sound like an elementary school student."

"You fight like an elementary school student…"

"There won't be any need for fighting if you aren't there to provoke them!" Tobias stared at him for a long time, with a cryptic expression on his face.

"Ok, I won't come in, but I'm going to wait in the stairway for you."

"Whatever." But before he left, Tai turned and flashed Tobias an unexpected, grateful smile, and then walked out without a word.

As he walked through the hallways, Tai tried to imagine how he would react if Dan and Greg were in the room. What if they attacked him right there? What if they just totally ignored him…what if Colin totally ignored him? And Alin, would he ever talk to Tai again?

But to his delight, when he got to the room, nobody was there. He let out a breath that he hadn't known he was holding, and his body began to relax. He could hear shouts and screams from the courtyard that his window looked out onto.

"Sounds like someone is having a good time…" The idle tone is Tobias's voice, didn't distract Tai. He was angry that the older boy had come in, but he found himself glad for the company, and didn't say anything about it.

"Hmm…it's like last night…" His voice trailed off into a gasp as he pulled open his drawers.

"What? What's wrong?" Tai ignored him and raced around the room, upending drawers and looking under the beds.

"What's wrong?"

"My stuff, where's my stuff!"

"Uh…?"

"Check the bathroom!" There was nothing in there but a tube of toothpaste on the counter and three towels hanging on the rack.

"Nope, nothing in here…"

"Where the hell is my stuff?" Just then, a small cough came from the doorway. The two distraught boys turned to see Alin cowering against the frame, nursing a black eye.

"What do you want?" Alin shrunk back even further at the tone of Tobias's voice.

"Where's his stuff?" A whimper escaped the small boy's mouth.

"Where the hell is it!" Tai glared at Tobias, and walked over to the trembling boy.

"It's okay," he said in a soothing voice, "Do you know where my stuff is?"

"…yes."

"Can you please tell me?" Alin mumbled something under his breath.

"Pardon?"

"I tried to stop them, I swear!"

"What, tried to stop what? Where is my stuff?" Alin pointed a trembling finger out the window.

"What?" But Tobias had already strode over to the window, and was looking into the courtyard with a hateful look on his face.

Tai ran over to the window, and saw what had gotten Tobias so upset. His mouth hung open for a moment, then he looked back to Alin, who was now sobbing uncontrollably.

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Eiri stood outside the gate onto the plane. It was the same spot that he had raced by with Shuichi two months earlier, holding each other's hands in an attempt to not be separated. He had come early this time, and took a seat by the entrance. People rushed by in groups, dragging suitcases and kids, and various other objects.

Eiri turned his head to check the clock on the wall, and a flash of pink on the wall beside his chair caught his attention; he leaned in to inspect. As he read the message sloppily written in marker, a flood of emotions came rushing back to him.

_Flashback_

_"I'm bored."_

_"We just got here!"_

_"I know, but I'm bored."_

_"What did you bring to do on the plane?"_

_"Colouring books!"_

_"Well then take them out now! Baka!"_

_Shuichi opened his suitcase and pulled out a colouring book and a package of markers. Flipping open the pages, he selected one of a dog sitting on a mushroom and started colouring it in completely pink. Eiri rolled his eyes and pulled out a magazine._

_For a few minutes, the writer immersed himself into the not-so-exciting writing, sneering at the horrible talent displayed in the articles. Then he was interrupted with an announcement over the P.A system._

_"Plane 317 will be departing shortly, if all passengers could check into the plane please."_

_"Ok baka, that's us."_

_"I'm almost done Yuki!"_

_"What are you—" Eiri looked over to see Shuichi scribbling madly away on the wall._

_"What the hell are you doing?"_

_"One second, I'm almost done…THERE!" Shuichi pulled back from the wall, and bent over so that Eiri could read it._

_"Shuichi + Yuki Love! (I love you Yuki!)"_

_Eiri stifled a chuckle. "You're going to get us in trouble baka…"_

_"But it's true!"_

_"Whatever, let's get on the plane."_

_End Flashback _

Eiri ripped his eyes away from the declaration of love on the wall, and roughly brushing the tears from his eyes walked into the lineup to get onto the plane.

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Tai ran through the back gates into the courtyard, closely followed by Tobias, and then Alin. They all headed straight for a thick column of black smoke in the middle of the lawn. Gathered around the fire were Dan, Greg, Colin and various other boys that Tai hadn't met yet. And he hoped he never would.

As he came closer to the bonfire, he saw that his empty suitcase was lying on its side right at the edge of the blaze. There was no sign of his stuff anywhere on the ground, so Tai could only assume where it was.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

The other boys, who were until that point ignoring him, turned and smirked in his direction.

"Tsk, it's not nice to swear…bad boy." The mocking expression on Dan's face drove him crazy.

"It's not nice to burn people's stuff." A wary look crossed their faces as Tobias drew up close behind Tai, then they were back to their cocky selves.

"Well, his stuff was so old and boring, we figured we were doing him a favour." In a quick motion, Greg reached out and snagged Tai by the shoulder. Dan blocked off Tobias while his friend held Tai over the fire.

"How about it pretty boy, do you want to join your crap in the fire?" Greg's breath blasted against Tai's ear and he shrunk away in terror.

"Put him down Greg!"

"Oh, you mean like this?" Tai couldn't help a high shriek as he was lowered closer to the fire.

"Let me go, please, let me go!"

"Mmm…don't think so…"

A young boy came over and whispered something into Greg's ear. Something flitted over his face, and then he dumped Tai onto the ground.

"Let's get the hell out of here." And in moments, they were gone, leaving Tai to mourn over his ruined possessions.

"Are you okay man?...Tai?" The younger boy just stared into the fire, watching his only links to his forgotten memory turn into ashes and blow away. A hand on his shoulder brought him out of his morbid thoughts for a second.

"Shit man, here comes Ms. Hift…come on!"

"…hnn…"

"Come ON! We have to go, we are going to get in SHIT!"

"I don't care." Tobias grabbed his friend's arm and tried to drag him to his feet, but Tai went limp and collapsed onto the ground again.

"Fine, I'm out of here. Come by my room as soon as you're done your punishment…" He ran off.

Ms. Hift arrived to find the courtyard deserted, save for a lone, motionless figure, kneeling by the fire.

"Mr. Retsuri! What in the name of the High Heavens do you think you're doing!"

"…"

"Fine, come with me young man, we have issues to discuss in my office."

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A few minutes later, Tai was unhappily settled in an old, but comfy armchair in Ms. Hift's old, but comfy office.

"Mr. Retsuri—"

"Tai."

"Ok, Tai. I do not want you causing anymore trouble like this. That was an immature, ridiculous thing to do, and it did not solve any of your problems."

"Would you believe me if I told you that I didn't do it?"

"Well who else would do that? One of the boys already here? I'm sorry to tell you that I have a little more faith in them, some of whom I've known for years, than with a boy I meet only a day ago."

"…That's what I thought…"

Ms. Hift gave him a long look.

"Tai, when your parents contacted me about their will, and asked me if you could stay with me in the event of their death, I was hesitant to agree, but I did because of the special circumstances."

"Special circumstances?"

"Well, since I'm your…second cousin, I believe?…yes, well, I felt obliged to take care of you."

"I was told that I had no living family."

"Yes, well, they wouldn't tell you about me…"

"Why not?"

"It's a long story, and I am not in the mood to tell it."

"Whatever."

"Anyways, the point is, I had expected you to be a little better behaved, and I expect more from you in the future. I will not be punishing you this time, because I'm sure you're a little out of sorts with all the confusion, but next time…"

"…yes Ms. Hift."

"That's a good boy…Oh! I almost forgot, I got your message; Dan gave it to me…the poor boy, I can't imagine what he must think of your manners, transferring out of his room after the first night!"

"My…message?"

"The one about how you wanted to change rooms…up to…Tobias's room?"

"I didn't—oh…"

"Hmm?"

"Nevermind…when do I move?"

"Well, gather up whatever you have left, and then you can head upstairs."

As Tai walked out of the room, he wondered how Ms. Hift could be so blind to what was going on at the orphanage…or maybe she knew, and wasn't doing anything about it? Either way, he didn't want to dwell too long on the subject.

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Author's note: Uhoh! What's going to happen now that Tai and Tobias are living together…? Damn this chapter was too long…my finger's hurt…w/e it's all good, I just needed to find SOME reason to explain Tai being left to an orphanage lady in the willl…no, it's not a good reason, but it's a reason…OKAY?...R….&…..R!


	8. A Little Excitment

Alirght, I know that usually, I don't have a note at the beginning…or at least I didn't last chapter…well I just have to proclaim that this chapter is lacking some much need fluff….it's really depressing, so I'm going to have to satisfy my craving in this chapter….and not really get to the point, although I might…I haven't decided yet. So there, know you can be not confused…yes…unfortunately, when I say fluff…I mean very minor action…sorry, still working on the lemon…actually, the fluff isn't really even worth mentioning…you see, Tai and Tobias have a very strange relationship…which I have every intention of exploiting…later.

It just occurred to me…being as smart as I am, that everytime I refer to Tai as "the younger one"…or something along those lines….well, he's actually older than Tobias…sorry about that, but I'm going to keep doing it anyways to avoid confusion.

Chapter Eight

_Dear Diary,_

_I've only been in this god dammed house for two days, and already lost my stuff, my rooms, and all my friends but one…or two; I'm still confused about Reid…_

_I guess Dan and Greg didn't realize how much more miserable my life would have been if I had to live them, or they might not have told Ms. Hift I was changing rooms. Thank god for dense assholes…_

_Good thing I hid this diary, or I would be starting over from scratch (again). But I'd better get out of this room before D and G get back from wherever the hell they are and see me here. I'll head upstairs in a moment probably._

_I don't really know what to do, now that I'm going to be living with Tobias…he's really, I don't know…crazy? Intimidating? Well, it's something else too, but I can't figure it out. It'll be cool living with him; we have the whole enormous room to ourselves. (On second thought…should I be worried?) _

_Oh crap, I hear footsteps, I'd better get the hell out of here…wait, it's ok, it's only—_

"What are you doing?" Alin was peering in from just outside the door.

"Just…nothing…"

"Why are you still here?"

"What?"

"Get out of here! When they get back…" His voice rose high and shrill, and he looked around nervously. "I'm serious, you'd better get the hell out of here."

Hurt that Alin was being so abrupt, Tai rose quickly and walked over to the door. "It's okay, I was just leaving." He could feel Alin's big blue eyes following his back down the hallway all the way into the stairway, and he heard a sigh of relief as he started climbing.

A few moments later, as he stood outside of Tobias's door, he wondered what he was going to say to him. Would he understand? Probably…

The door swung open before he could knock, and a worried looking Tobias looked out.

"There you are! I thought maybe they had—" He broke off his sentence when he saw Tai looking at him with an endearing expression. "What?"

"Nothing…"

"What?"

"…You were worried about me…" A secretive smile slipped up to Tai's face. Tobias grinned widely. "Not really, I just wanted to make sure…"

"No, don't make excuses, you know you worried!"

"Uh…uhuh, don't think so…"

"Yes you we—" His words were abruptly cut off as Tobias captured his lips, the older boy nibbled at his lower lip until he allowed him entrance to his mouth. Tai melted into the Tobias's body, clinging tightly to his shoulders, and trying get as close as possible to him. His hands crept up to run through the blond boy's hair, playing with the curls at the nape of his neck. Tobias eagerly explored the willing boy's mouth, taking his time, and then abruptly ending the kiss as quickly as it had started.

Tai stood there looking lost for a moment, looking as though he might grab Tobias back towards him. But he didn't. Instead, he cautiously touched a finger to his lips, and then dashed inside the room through the still open door. Tobias came in behind and shut it.

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Eiri stepped out of his five-star hotel and into the streets of New York. He took a long, deep breath, inhaling all the scents of his childhood. His nose wrinkled in disgust. It still smelled disgusting.

Somehow he hadn't managed the plane ride without having a complete breakdown, but there was a part of the trip when they hit some turbulence, and he freaked out. All he could think of was the sounds of everyone in the plane rattling as they were bounced around, and the horrible silence when the engines had quit. A shiver ran up his spine involuntarily, and he had to look around to reassure himself that he was safely on the ground.

The writer was headed over to the mall to begin his autograph signing sessions, followed by a conference after he had toured the areas of New York. At the moment, he was headed to a fairly big, multi-leveled mall around Manhattan. A cigarette hanging from his fingers readied him for the perilous task ahead, just thinking about it made him sigh.

As he had nothing else to do, Eiri immerged himself in his thoughts, and eventually was drawn back to one of his favourite memories of Shuichi.

_Flashback_

_"Oh Yuki, I'm so happy! Thank you for bringing me out here; I'm having so much fun!" Shuichi paused his victory dance to beam up at his boyfriend. And they were a couple; Eiri had gruffly announced it about a week ago, and Shuichi had convinced him to take them out here, to the beach for a day. _

_"I love you Yuki!"_

_"…You too baka." Sand flew in the air as Shuichi spun around in the sand with his arms flung out, his head staring up at the sky._

_"Yuki loves me." He laughed giddily, then turned and screamed at the sky. "Yuki loooooooves me!"_

_Eiri watched his boyfriend dance around, and couldn't help from smiling. A crazy feeling welled up inside of him, and he started spinning beside Shuichi, with his arms flung out too, grinning at the sky. _

_End Flashback_

Eiri was jarred out of his thoughts by a loud, obnoxious horn beeping practically in his face. His foot, which was currently stepping off the crosswalk, onto the busy street was hastily retracted. His happy thoughts quickly evaporated and he looked around. Where was he? Had he gone past the mall without noticing? Looking back behind him, he saw the mall a few blocks back…great.

By the time he had made it back, his legs were sore, his head hurt from all the exhaust, and he was seriously sure that he was in great need of a shower. Everything seemed to make a loud noise, the door banging behind him as he stepped into the building, and everything was way too bright, with the fluorescent mall lights gleaming in his eyes.

Eiri wandered around aimlessly as he searched for the book store where he was meeting the manager who was organizing the book signing in this mall. Although he had been offered a guide, the writer, feeling that since he lived in New York for a while, even though he had never been in this particular mall, would be able to find his way.

Which turned out to be a big mistake. Eiri now faced six floors of over-excited teenage girls in skimpy summer outfits getting ready for going back to school. It was going to be a long day.

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"I'm bored."

"What, am I not interesting enough for you?" Up until now, the two boys had been lying side by side on the bed, staring at the ceiling while they sorted through their thoughts. Not many words had been passed between them, but it was not so much awkward as peaceful. Now, Tobias propped himself up on his elbow and looked over at the younger boy. With his hair spread around his face, Tai looked like a beautiful angel.

Tobias couldn't resist leaning over and placing his face right beside his angel's.

"You still owe me a kiss you know…if you're bored…" His husky voice ran shivers down Tai's arm, especially being so close to his face, but as much as he wanted to take the older boy up on his offer, he didn't think it would be such a great idea at the moment.

"Maybe later?" He tried to smooth over the words with a smile, but Tobias was obviously hurt. "Um…I'll owe you…two kisses then." The blond immediately grinned happily.

"Deal." He got up and jumped off the bed. "You wanna go out somewhere then?"

"Um…where can we go?"

"There's a big mall downtown, we can take a bus out and do some shopping…I know you need new stuff."

"Sounds good, but I have no money…"

"Oh, you do…parents always leave us money in wills, you just have to ask Ms. Hift for your monthly allowance."

About half an hour later, the two came out of Ms. Hift's office with their money, eager to leave for the day. She had seemed quite eager to get rid of them…

Tobias eagerly explained the bus, metro, and all around transportation system in New York, and Tai, who would have normally found this extremely boring, found himself hanging on to every word the other said. He loved the way the blond's eyes lit up when he was excited about something, how his graceful hands waved through the air, and little half grin on his face.

In no time at all, they had arrived at the mall. Tai looked up at the huge, six level building in awe. He clapped his hands together excitedly in a fit of delight.

"Weeeee!" The older boy grinned at his friend's happiness.

"Wow, you need to get out more often!"

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Eiri rested his heads in his hands for a moment, trying to catch a wink of sleep before someone else came by. He had finally found the store, after wandering around for a couple hours (eventually he just asked some simpering teens) but now regretted ever wanting to get there. The manager of the store had tried to yell at him when he got there an hour late, but Eiri took one look at the overexcited beet red man, turned around, and walked out of the store. It wasn't until he had been offered free coffee all day that he had come back.

So far, the only people that actually wanted his book signed were three uber-fans of his, who used to live in Japan or something, and the rest had been…you guessed it! Hyperactive teen age girls wandering the mall, who decided to flirt with the sexy blond man sitting at the book signing table. God he had the hugest migraine!

The frustrated writer got up from his chair and walked out of the store before the manager could say anything. He desperately needed a smoke…

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Tai ran through the mall at top speed, glancing over his shoulder at Tobias who was closely pursuing him. Giggles spilled out of his mouth as he tried to catch his breath while still running.

"Tai! Tai, wait, where are you going?" He looked back to see Tobias causally leaning against a table, with his hands in his pockets. There was no sign that he had even been exerting himself. He in turn admired Tai. A bright flush covered his cheeks, and his hair was going wild all over his head. His roots growing in gave him an extra crazed look.

"You passed the food court…I guess that means I win…"

"What? No way, I was way ahead of you!"

"Yeah, but I got to the designated spot first of all…"

"What? What kind of logic is that? Well, you know what—"

"I have to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back…" He then left poor Tai -who wasn't looking at Tobias, and therefore missed what he said - arguing with the empty space beside him.

"—and it's obvious that I'm right!" Tai turned around to see what he hoped would be a thoroughly beaten Tobias, but instead he saw the last two people that he wanted to see in the world.

"Hey there pretty boy, where's your boyfriend?" Tai's head spun. Where HAD Tobias gone? And when did these guys take his place? He decided not to say anything.

"This is boring, let's do something with our friend, Dan…?"

"Sounds like fun…but what could we do?" Even though he knew that they were having fun taunting him, Tai couldn't help trying to run away. No such luck, they had a tight grasp on his arm now.

"Well, he already LOOKS like a girl…let's dress him like one!"

"Wait! No, please let me go…Tobias! Ahh!" A hand clamped hard over his mouth, and they carried him off towards the clothing section of the mall.

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The enticing smell of muffins drifted under Eiri's nose, making him remember that he hadn't eaten all day. He changed his direction, and headed down the flight of stairs to the foodcourt. He was just about at the third floor when—

"Hey there…" A scanitly clad female approached him, swaying her hips and trying to bat her eyelashes sexily. Unfortunately, they were fake, and one fell off and hung down from her cheek. She looked like she had a spider in her eye. Eiri choked back laughter.

"Do you know where I could find a store that sells…" Here, the girl paused and leaned over towards Eiri, showing her cleavage and stroking his arm, "Well…the bikini store?"

For a moment, Eiri considered giving her wild instructions, and sending her on a search around the mall, but he wasn't that mean…was he?

"I'm looking for a reaaaally small one…" Ok, he definitely was.

"Actually I do…" Eiri flipped down his sunglasses and gave her a smile over his nose. "Go down to the bottom floor, and follow the blue hallway until you get to the door closest to the parking lot. The store is right around there somewhere…" It was actually about three floors up, right near the store that he was stuck in for the day. "When you find one, how about you come show me, so I know you got there ok?"

The girl looked as though she couldn't believe her luck. "Uh…ok! Where's your place?"

"Right across from this mall. Go up to the seventh floor, it's room ten, ask for…Georges Leguim."

"Oh, I just knew you were French, I could tell by your accent!"

Eiri highly doubted that, but whatever this chick wanted to believe…

"Ok, well I hope to see you soon!" The writer flashed the girl one of his…more charming smiles, and continued to walk down the stairs.

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"Hey get back here sexy!"

"Leave me alone! Help! Help!" The people who Tai ran by in the mall were unsure whether it was a game or not, and consequently did not make any move to stop the two boys chasing behind him.

The unfortunate boy in question, who looking more like a girl than usual, as he was running through the building with a pink dress, his hair tied back in a ponytail, and a small amount of badly applied makeup that was running all over his face.

"Come back here sweetie! We're not done with you yet!" Dan and Greg made taunting comments such as these all down the hallways.

"Go AWAY!"

Tai ran out around a corner, looking back to see how close behind his pursuers were. Sadly, they were about two feet away, close enough for Dan to reach out, and swing him into the condiments table as they ran by the food court.

"Ow!"

"Well, you shouldn't have tried to run away if you didn't want to get hurt…now you need to be punished…open up!" He picked up a bottle of vinegar.

Tai's eyes widened, and he clamped his mouth shut as hard as possible. Unfortunately, it wasn't his mouth that Dan was aiming for.

"Ahhhh!" His scream echoed off the walls. "My eyes! Shit!"

He could hear the bullies running away from him quickly, but he was really more focused on the intense pain in his eyes. Sticking out a hand, he staggered over to where he thought a table was…but instead found an empty space.

SLAM!

He rocketed right into someone else, and toppled over on top of them.

"Sorry! Sorry! I can't see anything…" His voice trailed off, and he tried to squint through blurred eyes to see who he had landed on. All he could make out was that it was a man, and he was a lot bigger than Tai. Also, said man was staring at Tai.

"Shuichi?"

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Author's note: I'm sorry, I couldn't resist adding in a part like that…I know you guys knew it was coming…so thanks for being such great readers, R&R! But do not fret my friends, there is plenty of angst to come! Muahahahahahhaha! I feel so evil…


	9. Mistaken

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gravitation or Bikky (he's from FAKE)

hehe...cliff hanger...did I make you anxioius? But seriously, I had no intention of making you wait for so long...I just couldn't get to my computer in time...sorry!

Chapter Nine

"Shuichi?"

"Yes? Wait, no, um, no, I'm so sorry for bumping into you, I think you're mistaking me for someone else…"

"Shuichi?"

"Um, no. You have the wrong person…" Tai tried to get up, but a delicate, yet strong hand had grabbed his arm.

"Shuichi?" The small boy tried to shake off the goosebumps he got as the other man touched his arm, but he was still left with a chilly feeling in his stomach.

"Please let go of me…" He could feel tears rolling down his cheeks again, to join the tears already leaking out of his eyes from the vinegar.

The man flinched, and then peered up at Tai. "Oh my god…." His grip loosened, and Tai shook his arm free. "Oh my god…oh no…oh…I'm so sorry…I just…you just…I'm sorry…sorry…" He jumped up and ran off in the direction of the stairs. Or so Tai assumed, he still couldn't even make out anything more than the outline of his hand in front of his nose.

"Tai! Tai! I found you! Thank god, where did you go? I thought that you'd been kidnapped or something!"

"No, just those two idiots again…"

"What's wrong with your eyes, why are you squinting?" Tai quickly relayed the story on to Tobias, who listened in horror, but omitted the part about the crazy guy he bumped into, for a reason that he didn't really know.

"Alright, let's get you home…"

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Eiri stumbled across the malls and out the doors to the parking lot. A bench nearby provided a place for him to collapse and think about what had just happened.

That poor girl! He scared the shit out of her, calling her Shuichi! What was his problem, bringing up his dead lover…he was so sick…

Just when he thought that he had gotten over Shuichi, if only a little bit, something like this would have to happen. Shit, he was such a dumbass!

But that girl…she had looked so much like his boyfriend, or what he would have looked like now. The roots of her hair had been growing in, giving her a crazy look that he was so familiar with, from when Shuichi had dyed his hair all those other times, and it was even up in a ponytail like he used to do when he was writing songs. She had the exact same facial features, just highlighted by that crappy makeup, and the same body build.

Did she have breasts? Damn, he couldn't remember…if she had, then they weren't all that noticeable. Maybe he was just going crazy…

Eiri didn't want to go back into the mall, in case he saw that girl again. He just didn't trust himself to act like a human around someone who brought back such sad memories.

So he left. Since he hadn't actually brought anything with him that day, save his wallet which was in his pocket, he didn't have to go back to the goddamn autograph signing shit hole. He started the long walk back to his hotel.

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Tai arrived back at the orphanage very shaken up. The encounter with that strange man had frightened him greatly, and he still hadn't been able to get rid of the weird chilly feeling in his stomach, especially when he thought about the man touching his arm and talking to him. It was just so familiar.

Tobias was holding onto his arm to give Tai support to walk, since his legs seemed to be pretty wobbly, and he almost knocked them both over when Tai stopped in the middle of the walkway.

"Tobais!"

"What? What is it?"

"That guy!"

"What guy? What're you talking about?" Quickly, Tai explained what had happened in the mall to save him from Dan and Greg.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I'm really, really sorry…I don't know why…" It was too hard to Tobias to be mad at his friend for too long, especially with those puppy eyes.

"Well, whatever, what about this guy?"

"…he was talking to me in Japanese…"

"What? You're just noticing this now?" Tobias stared incredulously.

"Well, it seemed so…natural I guess, I didn't think about it."

"Well, he probably just looked at you, and realized you were Asian, so he started speaking Japanese."

"Um yeah, except do you know how many Asian languages there are? I don't know, it almost felt as if he knew who I was for a second…but them he apologized and ran away."

"Huh…weird."

The two friends walked in the house, both trying to put the mall experience behind them.

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_Two weeks later…_

"Tai, get your lazy ass out of bed, we are going to be INSANELY late!"

"What..? What's going on?Why are we hurrying, it's only like, ugh…eight o'clock…go back to sleep!"

"Shit! Tai, come on, we have to get to the school, remember, first day of new school, and all that shit?"

"Fuck! I totally forget!"

"Hurry up!" They raced around the room, sorting through dirty and clean clothes, bags, hats and other assorted junk, trying to get ready quickly. Tai stopped by the window for a second, looking for his disk man under a pile of Tobias's junk.

"Damn it! There goes the bus!"

"Whatever, we'll just take the subway, grab some money for that and for lunch, and let's go!"

"Wait! Where the hell are all my clothes?

"Uh…weren't you washing them last night?"

"Damn it! I don't have enough time to get them, can I wear some of yours?"

"Um, sure, there's a pile over there!"

"'Kay! Thanks!" He hurriedly grabbed a pair of jeans and a t-shirt from the clothes heap. When Tobias wasn't looking, he brought his sleeve up to his nose and inhaled the spicy smell that clung to Tobias and everything he touched. The clothes were a little big on him, but they were nice and cozy, plus they were dry.

"Ok, are you ready NOW Tai?"

"Just a second…" Tai spotted his missing music player under one of the unused beds. "Aha! Found you!" Grabbing a few bills his dresser, he headed for the door.

"Alright, let's go!"

Mere minutes later, they were racing down the streets of New York, trying desperately to not get wet in the pouring rain.

"Where's the subway?" Tai had to shout over the traffic and the deafening sound of the downpour.

"Near by!"

They exchanged their money for tickets (Tai had finally gotten the hang of using American money)

Underground, as they raced through the gates, they were joined by what looked like a few dozen other desperate students trying to get to class on time.

"Hey Tobes!"

"Toby! Long time no see?"

"Hey, gimme some skin!" Tai stepped off to the side while Tobias was greeted by all his old acquaintances of the subway. Strangely, none of them seemed to be students. There was a ragged looking old man, who had an old-fashioned pipe sticking out of his mouth, an equally ragged looking girl, who seemed to be the same age as the boys, it appeared as though she was a friend of the old man's. Next to them, strangest of all, was a little boy, who couldn't have been more than nine or ten, but was all alone. This kid swaggered onto the train like he owned it, but the second he saw Toby, his tough-guy exterior evaporated and he clung to the older boy.

"Hey Toby! I didn't know school'd started already!" It was funny because he was dressed all punk, but he had a slight lisp that was really cute.

"Hey Bikky!"

"What'cha up to? Who's this kid? What's his name?"

"Tai."

"Cool." He turned to Tobias.

"Is he your boyfriend?" Tai choked in shock, but his friend just laughed as he patted his back.

"No…" But he turned just in time to see Tobias winking at Bikky.

"Hey!"

"Oh, here's our stop, move up to the doors. Bikky, goodbye, see you tomorrow, and go to school. I'll find out if you don't!"

"Aw man…fine!"

The P.A came on and announced their stop, accompanied by a dinging sound. The wave of people quickly swept them out of the train, and Tai clung onto his friend's hand to keep from getting separated.

"How far away is the school from here?" The air of the city, although polluted, seemed so fresh after the stale air of the subway that it was heaven just to take a few deep breaths.

Tobias saw him panting and grinned. "You get used to it after a while, come on, we're almost there."

Finally, they stopped in front of old, grey, and very depressed looking building. Tai craned his neck up and saw gargoyles on the roof.

"Please don't tell me that this is it…"

"Sorry…"

Tai looked over at Tobias, and out stretched his hand. The other boy took it with a great grin spreading over his face, and they headed up the big stone steps, leaning a little bit on each other.

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Eiri dragged himself out of bed, nursing a pounding headache. It felt like he had drunk an entire bar, and then did a dive out of his window onto the concrete. How the hell had he managed to get drunk in this damn town he would never know. This was possibly the worst hangover he had ever had, and he'd had his share of hangovers.

"Damn right I have!"

"Who are ya talkin' too honey?" Eiri must have jumped three feet in the air. Spinning around, he saw a naked woman sitting up in HIS, no, the hotel bed, grinning at him.

"What are you doing here?"

"Why, don't ya remember sugah? Oh, ah guess you had a bit too much ta drink, didn't ya?"

The writer tried desperately to sort through his whirling, and extremely painful thoughts, but he couldn't push through the fog surrounding the previous night. But apparently at some point he had hired a prosititute. Shuichi would have been terribly angry.

"Um, yes…." He stared at her awkwardly. "Um, do you…want something to eat?"

"No, ah'm fine honey. Ah'll just be usin' your shower, and ah'll be off!"

Eiri stared at her back as she slid out from under the covers and sashayed off into the bathroom. Weren't prostitutes supposed to leave before you woke up? Everything was messed up in America.

A loud, extremely annoying beeping sound assaulted his ears. What the hell? When he went to inspect, he found that his alarm had been set by someone to go off. It couldn't have been him; no matter how drunk he had been, alarm clocks were his natural sworn enemy. He would never break the agreement he had with the god of alarm clocks of never setting one, and therefore never chucking one across the room.

The only other person who could have set it was the prostitute. Eiri tried to dig up a name from his memory, but drew a blank. Great. How was he going to get rid of her if he didn't ever remember her name?

"Pfffft…"

"What's that sugah?" Eiri found himself several feet of the ground for the second time in an hour. Who showers that fast? "Uh, nothing, just…exercising my lips." He winced…okay, that was lame.

"Uh huh…well, ah'll just be goin now, you be sure ta tell that nice Sagoochay man that ah dropped bah."

It took a second or two for this information to sink into Eiri's head. He followed the American to the door.

"Excuse me, but what…who…? Who should I tell?"

"Well, ah can't reallah say his name, it's kinda foreign, but it sounded lahke 'Sagoochay'"

"Hm…well, thank you for coming, I'll be sure to tell him."

"Thanks hon."

As the door slammed behind her, he mumbled under his breath.

"That, and a whole shit load more."

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Tai stared at his timetable that sat mockingly in his hand. Math, English, Science, and Music, and that was only Day One. But it was also all he was going to worry about, at least for today. He leaned over Tobias's shoulder to check his friend's. Math, History, Science and Drama…well, at least he wouldn't be lonely out of his mind for half the day.

Sighing wearily, Tai plonked his chin down on the older boy's shoulder, trying to subtly inhale his wonderful scent.

"Wanna go somewhere else?" Tobias winked at him laughingly.

"As long as you don't come with me."

"Ha…Ha."

"Ok boys, out of the office! Get to your first period classes or you'll be marked absent! Go on!" The secretary rose from her desk and shooed them out the door.

"Tobias?"

"You don't have to call me Tobias you know, I think Toby will be good."

"Oh…ok, I'll try."

"What do you want?"

"Um, where do you think everyone else is?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, shouldn't there be a few more students in here…getting their timetables and stuff?"

"Oh, that…um, maybe since we're late, they're all gone?"

Tai looked over at his friend, who refused to meet his eyes.

"Tobia—Toby! What's going on—" A teacher they were passing by shushed him, and he never got a chance to finish the conversation.

Minutes later, Tai found himself at the back of the math class, trying desperately to pay attention to the already boring lecture. But it was impossible. The teacher was just so boring.

"Toby." No answer. "Toby!" Said boy leaned over the aisle towards our hero.

"What?"

"How do you stand this?"

"What're you talking about; it's only the first day!"

"I know, but—"

"Mr…Tai. Could you please explain to me how to answer the question on the board?" Tai could feel his palms start to sweat. Grinning uneasily, he turned his attention to the blackboard at the front of the room. And saw that he knew how to do it. Tai stood up at his desk, with his hands straightly at his thighs and answered.

"You have to factor each of the variables then insert it into the equation." The teacher stared at him.

"Very good Mr…Retsuri. But if you had been paying attention, you would have known that I haven't yet explained how to solve that typed of equation. And next time you answer, there is no need to get out of your seat." The small boy's face flushed bright red as he took his seat.

"Oh…" Tai turned to see Tobias staring at him with a dumbfounded expression on his face.

"How did you figure that question out?"

"I didn't…I already knew how to do it…I guess…"

"Hey, that's kinda weird…"

"Yeah…"

"Mr. Retsuri," the teacher was now standing right beside his desk, looming over him, "You can stay after school today for an hour. I will not tolerate talking I my classroom. You too Mr…"

"Um, I don't think my last name is on there…"

"What? Why wouldn't it be?"

"Well, I don't exactly have one…" Tai turned to his friend, surprised. Tobias hadn't ever said anything to him about this. "Just call me Tobias."

"Ok…Mr. Tobias, you can join Mr. Retsuri tonight in detention."

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Author's note: I know, I know! Crappy ending, but I was just didn't know how to end it. Anyways, my rationale for him knowing the math is that we have all these Asian exchange students in our math class at school, and they all know a way higher level of math than us. It's really quite depressing…And I don't actually know if that's a real way to solve a problem, but since I suck at math, what could I do?

As I mentioned earlier, it is thought that Tobias is older than Tai, except by us, because I told you. But, you say, they seem to be in the same grade? Well…I don't have a good reason for that, except it's eminent that they're in the same classes for some of the subjects…

Also, I'm sure that Tai would have been appointed a last name, at least you'd think…but there's a reason…you'll see later.

R&R My pretties!


	10. Suicide?

Alright…I failed to mention this before…but I got an email saying that you're no longer allowed to answer reviews? Is this true? I luv answering you guys…and it's making me really sad, so if someone could tell me if this is right, because I don't want my story to be removed.

Another point of interest: I can't post any more chapters until I write a few more…ccuz I still don't really know about my ending or anything, so I wanna be able to change stuff…I've drawn this update out long enough (sorry) and so I might not update for a little while (but I will eventually) and not to worry (although you probably aren't) but I WILL finish this story.

Chapter Ten

Tai sighed dejectedly and stared at the blue slip of paper in his hand.

"I can't believe I got detention on the first day of school…" Tobias just laughed at him, and he stared reproachfully at the older boy. "It's not funny!"

"Oh it is…"

"Hmph."

"Oh come on Tai, don't be like that! It's just a silly detention, and we don't have to go back to that stupid house so soon. It's not really that bad."

He couldn't stay mad at his friend for long, especially while Tobias was grinning at him with that sexy smile. Tai gave his own cute smile back.

"At least we're together."

The older boy slung his arm around Tai's shoulders, and they walked down the hall towards the math room together. Strange glances were shot their way, but they managed to ignore them all.

"So what do we do during detention anyways?"

"He'll probably tell us when we get there."

"Good point." Outside the doors, Tobias's arm fell away to knock on the door. The smaller boy for a moment shivered at the lack of warmth.

"Hello boys, please come in."

Cautiously, they entered the gloomy classroom. The blinds were pulled down to cover any light coming in from the windows, so the only illumination came from the bright fluorescent lights on the ceiling. One of said lights was flickering on and off, and it reminded Tai of a horror movie he had been watching with Tobias about a week ago.

"…And then the horrible monster rose from beneath the desk, and launched itself upon Gertrude Laroche…and that was the last anyone ever saw of her…" Apparently Tobias had thought so too…

Giggling quietly, they sat down where the teacher pointed. He stood in front of them with his arms crossed, sighing impatiently, until they managed to catch their breath.

"I trust that it's ok for me to speak now?" Well, that just set them off into new rounds of laughter.

SLAM!

The teacher's hand came flying down to hit the desk right in front of them.

"Pay attention please gentlemen," he said in a deceivingly calm voice, "You need to hear this."

"…yes sir."

"That's a good boy. Now, as you have probably figured out, I will not tolerate talking in my class. I hate to give out punishment on the first day of school…" Tai shot a look of relief over at Tobias…maybe he was going to let them get off this time. But Tobias refused to meet his glance. "…so it's a good thing that this isn't the first day! Where were you two the entire last week, during the actual first week of school?"

Tai turned to stare at Toby.

"The entire…last….week…" Rubbing the back of his neck, Toby chuckled weakly.

"Well, I didn't actually realize my mistake until about Wednesday, and by that time, there was no point in going for two and a half days…so I just figured that we would go today…and that you'd never find out…"

"Because I'm just that stupid…right?"

"Well, I'm not the one who got us into detention the first day of school!"

"I'm not the one who didn't tell me that this wasn't the first day of school!"

"God! I knew I shouldn't have believed you when you told me the rest of the guys had gone school shopping in Chicago for a week!"

"Of course you shouldn't have! Who the hell would believe such an obvious lie like that?"

"Me! I don't have any reason to suspect you're lying, so why wouldn't I believe you!"

"Because you're just that stupid, right?"

"Ahem…" The barely concealed expression of annoyance by the teacher stopped their argument for a moment.

"Gentlemen. I don't really care who told who what. What I care about is getting back my lost time that you took in class. That means we have to work out some sort of a punishment."

"Maybe you could just let us off with a warning?" Toby offered.

"Or maybe I could suspend you for disturbing my class. I don't need helpful suggestions Mr. 'Tobias'. You two boys are to sit at separate ends of this classroom, and write lines for half an hour, and then you may go home."

"Oh fun."

"Make that an hour. You can go get started, and I don't want to hear any talking out of either of you. Do not disturb me."

"But sir…"

"I said not to disturb me! Go take your seats now!"

Five minutes later, they were still sitting at the desks, trying desperately not to laugh, and waiting for him to notice them.

"What do you think you're doing? Why aren't you writing lines?"

"Because…" Tai had to stop to catch his breath, "We don't know what to write!"

The teacher's face flushed bright red.

"Why didn't you say so? Just sitting there like a pair of idiots isn't going to fix the problem!" As Toby was considering another cheeky reply, Tai quickly elbowed him in the side. As much as he did not want to go back to the orphanage, he did not want to stay in this creepy dungeon for any longer than necessary.

Finally subdued, they went to separate ends of the classroom, sat down, and tried not to be annoying. Well, at least Tai did…Toby was another story.

Although he wasn't sure if the older boy was doing it on purpose, or just subconsciously, the grin on his face gave Tai a pretty good idea of what was going through his head.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap…The teacher looked up for a second, and the tapping stopped. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Pause. Tap.

"I know that is you Mr. Tobias. Please stop or you'll be in here for the rest of the week."

A few minutes went by, then: Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

"Mr. Tobias!"

"Okay, okay, I'm finished."

Tai resumed his task: writing out "I will pay attention in class and not talk while the teacher is talking."

An hour later, the teacher called them up to the desk to inspect their work. Looking at Tai's, his forehead wrinkled.

"You spelt 'while' and 'attention' wrong every single time, and your handwriting is atrocious. Come back tomorrow after school, and you can try again. Mr. Tobias, yours is fine. You both are free to go.

Toby just looked helplessly over at Tai as they went to their lockers, got their stuff, and flew out the door, but his smaller friend wouldn't look him in the eyes.

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_I am all by myself. Alone in a room. There is no one here with me, especially not some STUPID, PERSISTENT—no…there is no one in the room with me. I am all alone. I am—_

"What are you doing Eiri?"

_I am all by myself—_

"Eiri? Can you hear me? Are you okay?"

_I AM ALL BY MYSELF—_

"Eiri? Should I call the police?"

Sighing wearily, the famous novelist finally opened his eyes to glare at the unwelcome intrusion.

"Hey, you're alive!"

"No kidding."

"Hey, don't be like that! Aren't you happy to see your favourite brother?"

"My favourite brother?"

"Yeah, you don't have any other brothers do you?"

"Not that I know of."

"Well, then that makes me your favourite."

"Only by default."

"At this point, I'll take whatever I can get." This statement, far different from what usually came out of Tatsuha's mouth, attracted Eiri's attention more than anything else the boy had said for the past few months. Maybe he did need to hang out with the poor kid more often, because who else did he have? Mika was annoying, as was Tohma, who didn't have time for a sixteen year old anyways, and his father was unbearable to both of them. Eiri was the only one who didn't try to control Tatsuha's life. Plus, his obsession with Ryuichi was getting unhealthy.

It's not like Eiri was there a lot anyways, he went to America a lot, plus stuff for tours, in fact, he was going to America tomorrow, so he might as well do something with Tatsuha until he left…but what?

They sat in silence for a bit, while Eiri debated a way to make it up to Tatsuha for ignoring him.

"Hey."

"What?"

"Wanna go bug Tohma?" Tatsuha turned and grinned at his older brother, pleased at the idea.

"You practically read my mind…"

Quickly, they put together a plan that involved cheese, red food dye, a blender, and a scarecrow. The hunt was on.

Meanwhile, Tohma was sitting in his office, contemplating the changes that Eiri had been going through recently. At first, right after Shuichi had died; he had been so concerned for the welfare of the writer that he had practically lived in his apartment to make sure he didn't take it as far as self-mutilation. Eventually, it had seemed like Eiri was getting better…at least until he took that trip to New York. Whatever had happened there, stirred up memories maybe, had thrown Eiri into a relapse, and he wouldn't even talk to Tohma about it because of the stripper.

He was even screening Tohma's calls, which really pissed him off. He was Tohma Seguchi, and no one, NO ONE screened his calls.

Great, now he was all excited. Getting up to pour himself a glass of whiskey, he sipped it in silence, and remembered the good old days when Eiri and he were more than brothers-in-law, more than friends even.

Minutes later, his cell phone ringing brought him out of a very happy (i.e horny) memory of him and Eiri when they were younger…sixteen to be precise…and they had just gotten inside after being caught out in the rain, and had to get out of their wet clothes quickly, and they were huddled together in the laundry room and—

RING! RING! Tohma finally, reluctantly, grabbed the phone and picked it up.

"What?

"Oh my god Tohma, it's Eiri, I think he's gonna kill himself! He standing on the roof of the building, threatening to jump!" The big boss, head "Sacho" of NG records, the man who people turned to in times of stress, completely froze. The phone dropped from his fingers, slow motion style, and he could still hear Tatsuha's voice coming from the floor.

"Hello? Hello? Tohma, come quickly!"

Mere seconds later, his stylish yet affordable car came screeching around the corner of the road and up beside Eiri's apartment building. Tatsuha was dancing around excitedly at the bottom, pointing up at what appeared to be a man perched on the edge of the roof.

Futilely, Tohma tried to wave Eiri down, but there was no way the author could see him from there. It was hopeless.

Tohma felt the pit of his stomach clench and then drop to his toes as the figure slowly tipped forwards and came rocketing down the stories.

"NOOOOO!" It didn't register that 'Eiri' was falling at a relatively slow speed for such a big guy, all he could think of was a way to save him. Could he catch him? No, obviously not. Could he bring some sort of cushioning? But from where? Bushes?

So he watched helplessly as the falling object became bigger and bigger as Eiri was brought closer to sudden death. As the author hit the ground, Tohma was splattered with warm guts, and everything went black. While he fell to the ground, he found himself wondering why Eiri's brains tasted like cheese.

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A few hours later, Tohma was awakened to the sound of the machines beeping, babies crying and…people laughing? His eyes flew open to see Tatsuha and Eiri in tears on the floor beside his bed, clutching their sides as they rolled around on the floor.

Tatsuha jumped up to his feet and threw an arm out in front of him.

"NOOOOO—" His dramatic scream was cut off as he noticed Tohma glaring at him with a horrid death look. "Oh, hi Tohma…well, I'll be going now, it's about time to…uh…have my tuba lesson…bye Eiri!" He booked it out of the room.

Now, Tohma turned his attention to his brother-in-law, who was in the process of wiping the tears out of his eyes.

"You're finally awake." All traces of his mirth had disappeared from the author's face, and his usual serious expression came over. "Did you really care about me that much?"

Tohma absolutely detested being picked apart like this, but after his behavior there was really no way to avoid a confession.

"Of course I do," he said angrily, propping himself up on his elbows, "Haven't you figured that out by now? What did I have to do, jump off the building beside you?"

A shocked expression replaced the indifferent look on Eiri's face. "We're sorry Tohma, we just…"

"You just what, wanted to give me a heart attack? Maybe your life would be better if I wasn't there to bother you every week to make sure you're still alive!" His last bitter words were screamed at the other man.

"No!" Eiri surprised himself with the passion in his voice, "I don't want to get rid of you…"

"I'm listening."

"I guess…ever since I lost…him…I've realized how much I value my friends…and family."

Tohma gaped unceremoniously. The Great Eiri Yuki, confessing his feelings for his…family? Who would ever have thought that the day would come…

Eiri took a deep breath and continued. "So please don't think that I was trying to get rid of you…it was just a joke…to get you to lighten up and for Tatsuha too.

Now he was doing things for other people? Would the surprises ever end? Maybe he could find it in his heart to forgive his friend.

"I might just be able to let this go," Eiri looked up suspiciously at the pause, "On one condition."

"And that would be?"

"You have to tell your family what you just told me. Or I tell them that you attempted suicide."

"That's dirty Tohma."

"Yes, it is. But those are the conditions. You have to tell them."

"Even my old man?"

"Even your old man."

"Damn, I should have left you on the road."

"Probably."

"Well, I'm going back to America tomorrow, to finish up on some stuff for the latest novel, so I'll tell them when I get back."

"…Fine, if that's the best you can do."

"It is."

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Author's note: woo hoo! I finished! Well, I realize that not much happens in this chapter it seems, but it's all important for later on. And there IS a reason that this story is rated M…I'm getting to that…


	11. The Bar

Alright my friends, I did say no more posts for a while, and it has been a while, and yet, I have not gotten anywhere on my next chapter...so, I hate to do this because my next one isn't finished yet, and I promised myself that I wouldn't do it like this, but the time has come to update...meh, it's not that big of a deal...I'm sure i'll finish tomorrow, when I have some alone time...uh...maybe...anyways, here's chapter eleven, thanks for waiting so long, and I'm really sorry, and I'll try to get the next chapter out as soon as possible!

Chapter Eleven

Tai lay in his bed, willing his brain to go to sleep. His entire head was heavy with fatigue, and his eyes were closing on their own, but he was thinking so fast that he just could not get any sleep. Of course, snoring beauty beside him wasn't exactly helping.

Finally giving up the battle, he propped himself up on his elbows and looked over at Toby. His friend's hair fell across his face, blowing around as he breathed. He looked so cute…

They still shared a bed, even though they didn't have to. Ms. Hift had ordered a bed to be brought up to the room a few days after he had moved in, but Tai never slept in it. He just found that he could sleep a lot easier with another warm body in the bed. And sometimes, when he woke up after a bad dream, and felt Toby's arms around his waist, it gave him the feeling of belonging, like he was finally where he was supposed to be, and he could almost grasp at memories of something just like it.

So they shared the bed. Toby never complained, he seemed to enjoy it just as much as Tai. Not like it was sexual or anything…although he had woken up a few times with the other boy staring at him with a hungry expression on his face…but they were just good friends…right?

Ok, so they had kissed a few times…well, Toby had kissed Tai, but it still counted. But it's not like it was a gesture of passion…what's a kiss between friends...he just hoped that Toby felt that way too.

Tai's thoughts were interrupted by moans coming out of Toby's mouth. The boy started thrashing back and forth on the bed, throwing his limbs everywhere.

"No…please don't…please…no…" Tai crawled over and tried to comfort him by rubbing his arms and shoulders.

"Toby, wake up!"

"No…please…get away from me…no…AHHHH!" Toby screamed as he sat straight up in the bed, right into Tai's arms, breathing heavily. He sat there panting for a moment, then pulled away to look at his friend.

"Tai?"

"Are you okay? You sounded so scared!"

"It was nothing."

"But—"

"You wanna go somewhere?"

"Um…what? Right now?"

"Why not?"

"It's like…twelve o'clock…we're waaaaay past curfew…"

"So?"

"So…we can't…get caught?"

"You got it. Let's go!"

Ten minutes later, fully (well, at least partly) clothed in their "party" clothes, that Toby had secretly bought for them both…Tai could only imagine how long he had been planning this for.

Catching a glance of himself in the mirror, Tai froze in his steps.

"Oh my god…I look like a crackwhore." He tugged down at the hem of his leather short shorts, and his tiny tank top. "Where did you buy these clothes anyways?"

"Atthesexshopyouwannagonow?"

"…the…sex shop?" Toby looked sheepishly at the ground.

"Are you mad?"

"No…just surprised that they let you in…"

"Funny…" Toby moved into the view of the mirror, standing behind Tai. "You look fine." He rested his head on the smaller boy's shoulder.

"I know. But I look like a crackwhore…a fine crackwhore to be sure, but a crackwhore nonetheless."

"I like you as a crackwhore…it suits you."

"Gee thanks, just what I've always wanted to hear."

"You're welcome." They stood and stared into the mirror for a moment, secretly admiring each other's costume until Tai spoke up.

"Wait a second…how come you get to dress like a normal person?" Toby moved a little to the left, revealing his clothing choice of the night. A white wifebeater, plus a pair of long, but incredibly low slung Hawaiian shorts made a simple, but drool worthy outfit.

"Why don't I get the long shorts?"

"Because I don't have the legs for the short ones…you do, look at those sexy things."

"Ha ha…let's go."

"Ok."

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Eiri sat at the bar, slowly sipping his drink and contemplating his past, and people tend to do when they drink…He chuckled to himself as he remembered the look on Tohma's face when the cheese goo splattered all over his expensive suit. Some guy leaned over towards him. "Wha…what's so….so…so…fun…" But he couldn't finish his sentence, as he was now lying on the floor unconscious.

Blearily, Eiri peered over the edge of his glass at the man. Hmm…some people just couldn't…hold…their…um…how do you hold liquor…? It's a liquid…crazy Americans and their crazy sayings…whew…he was dizzy.

The bartender leaned over the counter to him.

"Hey buddy?"

"Hmm…are you…talking to me?"

"Yeah, I think you've had about enough. I'm cutting you off man."

"Fine," Eiri pouted childishly, "But I'm not…leaving…"

"That's okay…just no more booze for you."

"Hnnn…" The writer propped his head up with his hands, trying to squeeze the negative thoughts out of his head, since he no longer had the help of alcohol to smush them…

Meanwhile, at the entrance of that very same bar, a confident looking blond boy, closely followed by a smaller friend, who could have been a girl if one didn't exam his chest too closely walked into the room.

(A/N: Bwahah what a coincidence!)

Toby stopped in the middle of the floor, sizing up the crowd of the night. After bumping into him due to the abrupt stop, Tai noted that he seemed pretty familiar with this. And strangely enough, the raging music, sweaty bodies, and smell of alcohol on everyone's breath was giving him a much welcomed rush. He imagined the adrenaline flowing through his veins as he turned to ask Toby to dance.

But the boy was already gone. He looked around frantically for a second, then left out his breath as his eyes fell on the blond haired boy leaning over the bar. Toby seemed to be flirting with the man beside him; he was moving closer to said man, and was giggling excitedly.

Tai snorted in disgust. They had only been there for (he checked his watch) one minute, and already he'd been ditched for a stranger. Well, he could fix that!

Sneaking up behind the pair, Tai was almost run over as they suddenly stood up with the apparent intention of going to the dance floor. Deliberately not looking at Toby's "friend", he leaned into his friend's arm, gazing up into his face through thick eyelashes.

"Where have you been," he purred in his most sultry voice, "I was looking everywhere for you…" He put special emphasis on "everywhere" and smiled idiotically at Toby.

"Uhh…" Toby looked, for all the world, like the boy who was caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "Right here?"

"Who's your friend?" He purposely drew out the last word, and began tracing circles on Toby's chest. The recipient of all the affection didn't seem to be able to concentrate on an answer long enough to respond, so Tai drew his hand away.

"Uh…" Stuttering, Toby tried to recall the name of the man.

"Eiri." The sound of the man's deep voice shot through Tai's head, and alarm bells started going off. Eiri…Eiri…where had he heard that name before…? Tai stole a look over at the man who he saw was Asian…although he did have blond hair. He looked relatively familiar, considering they were in a club, and Tai could barely see his face. Up until now, the man had been standing there watching the interaction between the two with a disinterested face. Now, he wasn't even sure what the guy was doing.

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Eiri gurgled incoherently. It was so dark in that bar, that he couldn't even see the face of the boy who intended to steal away his would-be dance partner, although he sure as hell wasn't giving up on Tony anytime soon. Is that what he said his name was? The music was so loud…

Anyways, he wasn't going to give up his claim so easily. Well, he wasn't going to, until he saw that boy shoot him a curious glance. Then a memory came zooming back to completely take over his vision.

It was that time that he had been dragged to an all night club by…guess who? His hyperactive lover. Well, for an act of revenge, Eiri had decided to ignore the singer, just for the first hour or so, and talk to a heavily made up girl in the corner. As was expected, the brat took it pretty hard…except instead of running over to whine at Eiri as he normally would have, the smart ass had found a girl too, and spent the entire night chatting her up. After a couple of hours…well, maybe it was more like minutes…whatever, but Eiri had gotten really pissed off, and went over to convince Shuichi to get away from that…whore.

And the look that…that boy had sent him, reminded him exactly of the face Shuichi had made when Eiri tried to get him to follow him, and the boy had pretended not to know him, cuddling up to the girl.

Needless to say, after that, the author was a little nicer to Shuichi.

Eiri snapped out of his daydream just in time to see the Shuichi-look-alike leading his potential date away from the counter. For a moment, he considered following them, continuing the battle for Tony (or was it Moby…?), but as a rush of dizziness threatened to knock him over, he decided that the young'uns were best left to the young'uns…or some stupid saying like that.

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Tai, who had been dragging Toby across the floor by his hand halted against the far wall. With a glance towards the bar, he saw that the man had apparently given up, and although he was strangely disappointed, it was more the relief that he was concerned with.

"Did you have to leave me so soon?" He turned mournful eyes up to his friend.

"…I just felt like dancing, with the mood and all! I didn't think that you would mind…"

"If you picked up some random drunk guy and left me alone in the middle of a club in a strange country?"

"Strange country? You live here!"

"Yeah…but it's weird…" Tai giggled. "Besides, you can't just ditch the guy you bring, even if you're trying to pick up an incredibly hot older guy."

"He was, wasn't he…"

"Oh yes…"

They stood in silence for a moment, watching all the couples dance to a hot, fast song on the dance floor.

"You wanna dance?" The question took Tai by surprise.

"Uh…not really…"

"Oh, that's fine…" Toby sounded a little hurt, but when Tai looked up to examine his face, there was a mischevious grin there. "I guess I'll just go dance with that guy…I'm sure HE would dance with me."

"Okay, I'll dance with you!"

"I knew I could talk you into it…" Toby lightly grabbed at the smaller boy's hand, and led him onto the floor. They positioned themselves right under the flashing strobe light…very close to the speakers, so there was no need for conversation.

A rush from the music, the noise, and the heat of a so many other bodies went straight to Tai's head, and impulsively he pulled the blond boy right against him. At first, Toby was surprised by his initiative, but soon fell into the rhythm of the dance. Encouraged by his acceptance, Tai moved even closer to his friend. There was an invitation in his eyes, and Tai threw all caution to the wind as he closed the remaining distance between them, until their bodies were flush together. As he leaned up to kiss Toby, he slowly ground against the blond boy, letting his hands roam around his chest.

Immediately, his friend responded, pushing harder against the small boy, and falling into the kiss. Hands and limbs ran wild across their bodies, as they tried to let off all the tension that had been building between them since they met.

Tai broke the kiss, and stared up at the older boy, who had his eyes closed, and a look of perfect bliss on his face. An thought flickered through Tai's mind, and he slowly started rubbing him thumb along the waistband of Toby's pants. As soon as his eyes flew open, Tai sunk his thumb in past the top and began to massage the skin under there.

Delighted moans began escaping Toby's mouth, and Tai could feel his friend starting to get hard. Suddenly, Toby broke away.

"I have to go to the bathroom."

Confused, but a little relieved to have been interrupted, Tai stood there staring after his friend. That had been so good…but what was he thinking. The poor boy was so disoriented that he absently accepted something shoved into his hand. Looking up, he saw a girl motioning for him to put it in his mouth.

For one reason or another, he complied. Although he found himself regretting the decision a few moments later when his head started to hurt.

Tai really knew that he was in trouble when the room started spinning precariously, and he fell to the floor giggling. Seconds later, Tobias was by his side, saying something…but the pretty lights bouncing around above his head were too interesting to listen to meaningless ramble.

"Okaaay, I dunno what you took Tai, but I'm taking you home now…"

"No! The pretty lights!"

"Uhh…right….well there are pretty lights in the dormitory too, okay?"

"Promise?"

"Uh, yeah, I promise, now let's get you home…"

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Eiri was watching that boy being picked up off the floor and carried home with partial interest, until he realized that it was the same two that he had run into earlier. As clouded as his mind was from all the alcohol, Eiri still recognized the signs of drug usage, mainly from the boy clutching at what could be heard all the way across the floor as the "pretty lights" with a very confused, unfocused look on his face.

Man, he look stoned…his Shuichi would never do that…never get into drugs, or anything that could be bad for him. Heck, he barely tolerated Eiri smoking, although recently, Eiri had taken to putting out a cigarette when it was half way done…it just no longer appealed to him anymore.

It was definitely time to go home…the crowd in the bar was starting to thin out…that meant it was probably getting close to dawn, and since he wasn't allowed any more booze, he might as well go back to the hotel room and see what he could find in the fridge…

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Author's Note: Okay, you don't even want to know how long it took me to write this goddamn chapter…it actually took me one and a half months…excuse, I'm going to a corner to cry at my pathetic lack of talent…sniff…


	12. Blood Pact

**Author's Note: **Bonjour, et bienvenue tout le monde! Wow, how was that for some awful French…yes, anyways, once again, this chapter was a struggle, but I did it, and I'm quite proud of this one…

**Warnings:** (haha I finally get to put this up!) a tiny lime…haha sorry, can't manage anymore in the story quite yet…it just wouldn't fit in…

Alright, just reading through the story, and there are soooo many discarded story lines that I started it's pathetic…and in my notes at the end, I keep hinting at things that I can't remember what I was hinting at! I said that there was a reason that Toby didn't have a last name, and now I can't remember why…oh god I feel ridiculous…Also, chapter 10 implies that Tohma and Eiri are the same age, which they obviously are not…blahhh….

I'm putting all the things that bother me right here, and this bothers me: Tai is absolutely nothing like Shuichi…it's actually killing me…but truly, I read somewhere that if you get amnesia, parts of your personality can be suppressed…I dunno…

**Chapter Twelve**

"…Oh my god…my head…"

"…Arghhhh…"

Tai and Tobias were currently standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom, supporting their heads on their hands, and peering blearily at their run down appearance.

"You look like shit man…"

"Yeah, cuz you're one to talk…"

"Okay…we both look like shit…"

They stumbled back to the room, trying to hold each other up. Tai collapsed back onto the bed.

"It feels like people are drilling holes into my head…oww…"

Tobias looked back at his friend from where he was digging through a pile of stuff in the corner. "Well you have it worse off than me…man…what did you take? You were so, so out of it…"

"I don't know," he rolled onto his stomach, moaning, "I really don't remember taking it…actually, I only remember walking in the door of the club…and after that everything is blurry…were we talking to some guy…?"

"That blonde guy…Eric or something…I didn't get his name clearly."

"No."

"What?"

"No, his name wasn't Eric…He was Japanese…I think it was…Eiri?"

"Okaay…um…how did you remember that?"

"I dunno…it's like maybe I knew someone with that name…but I don't remember!" The last word was screamed at the ceiling. "Eiri Eiri Eiri Eiri…oww…my head…"

_Flashback_

"_Oh my god it's Yuki Eiri! Over there!"_

"_Where, where!" _

"_Over there! With the coat and sunglasses!"_

"_Get him!"_

"_Run—"_

_--------------------------------------------_

"_We have Yuki Eiri as our talk show guest today. So, Eiri-san, we're all dying to know…any new stories in the making?"_

"_Maybe…"_

"_Would any of these ideas include an inside look of your relationship with—_

_-------------------------------------------_

"_Oh that Yuki Eiri is so handsome!"_

"_Mmm…I hear he's quite the charmer…"_

"_I heard that he's going out with that singer, from that band…"_

_---------------------------------------------_

"_Eiri! Eiri! Any comments about your forbidden relationship?"_

That voice…

"_I wouldn't comment on a forbidden relationship, even if I had one!"_

"_Ahh, so you admit to harbouring a secret love affair?"_

_---------------------------------------------_

_End Flashback_

"Leave him alone!" Tai awoke to find himself screaming into Tobias's shoulder.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah…just my head…hurts so much…"

"Was it another memory…?

"Uh…"

"Was it?" Panic was rising in Tobias's voice, and he said the words a little harsher than he meant. Surprised, Tai raised his head off his friend's shoulder and frowned. The expression on Toby's face wasn't like one he'd ever seen on the easy going boy before. It was taut and stressed, and there was even a degree of fear in his eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"What was it about?"

"Why? What's wrong? Tell me!" As hard as he tried, Tai couldn't keep his voice from raising.

"Nothing."

"It's not nothing!"

"Really…it is…but it's just…well…did you see anyone…just now?"

"Uh…yeah…a man."

"A friend?"

"I don't know! I can't remember who he is…just the name…Yuki Eiri. think he was…or is…famous or something, because I remember watching TV and seeing him. But I can't remember where I was! Or why I was watching this show…or why I was with him. But I got the weirdest feeling when I saw him, it was so…strange.

"No…I can't…just grasp it…it's just so close…but I can't get to it…"

Tobias clamped his hands down on Tai's shoulders and shook him, startling the boy out of his dream like state. "So he wasn't…um…" His cheeks coloured. "A…boyfriend or anything like that?"

"No!"

Taking in a deep breath, Toby exhaled calmly and relaxed visibly.

"I'm so afraid…that you'll wake up one day and realize that there's someone waiting for you somewhere…back in Japan or something…and…and you'll…"

"I'll what?" Tai had to bow his head right to Tobias's face to catch the rest of the confession.

"You'll leave me like everyone else did."

Confused, Tai curled up his forehead in an effort to relieve the pain. Then, in an instant, he understood.

"No!" The entirety of the situation hit him then, "Never, I'll never leave you! Have you been…worrying about this…all this time…?"

"No, absolutely not."

"Me thinks the lady doth protest too much."

"Shut up…that's not even how it goes…and maybe I was…a little…"

"A little what?" Toby shot him a death glare. "A little worried. But only a little."

"There's nothing to worry about! We'll stick together, forever, right?"

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"…a blood pact."

"What?"

"A blood pact. To seal the promise." He pulled a pocket knife out of his jacket.

Tai was still wary from his last encounter with a knife, and flinched visibly.

"Don't worry, I won't hurt you, like they did…give me your palm."

The small boy hesitated, fingering his still tender arm, but the look in his friend's eye strengthened his resolve. He cautiously touched his fingers against Tobias's hand.

The older boy lightly skimmed his hands across the palm of his hand, and gently raised it to his mouth. Chills ran through Tai's body as he placed a chaste kiss on the back of his hand.

Surprised, Tai didn't even feel the knife gliding across his skin until it pierced the flesh.

"Ow!"

"Sorry…" But the joy in Tobias's eyes took away any traces of pain he could have felt, and as they held their fingers together, the most beautiful smile graced the older boy's face, and he slowed leaned over to Tai's face.

This time, Tai didn't move away. Instead, he ran his hand along Toby's face, and drew him closer. The smell of the blond boy was…intoxicating…he took a deep breath, and was dizzy with desire. Looking up into his eyes, and seeing them already half closed, completely contented, was so arousing. His waiting lips, flushed cheeks, hot hands, was too much for him.

Not able to wait any longer, he hungrily leaned into Tobias's strong body, licking around the base of his neck, and receiving luscious moans from him, then finally, finally moving on to his lips.

Tobias's delicious mouth was already open in anticipation, and he attacked it viciously, trying to make up for all the time he'd been avoiding this wonderful contact. He couldn't even remember why he'd been afraid. This was so right.

He felt Tobias push up against him, struggling to take control, and he let him, for the time being…A hand splayed against his chest, forcing him backwards onto the floor, then a warm, familiar weight on his chest.

Tai stared up into the glowing eyes of the gorgeous boy lying on top of him.

"Why weren't we doing this before…" He muttered breathily, as Tobias slid down along his body to suck softly along his neck, and then down to his chest.

"I dunno…"

Tobias got lower and lower down his body, and Tai propped himself up on his elbows to look down at him.

"No, too fast…" Tai grabbed a fistful of blond hair and playfully tugged his head back up to meet his lips again.

His tongue was attacked with pent up passion, and ravaged by Tobias's revenge for stopping him. A gasp escaped his mouth as suddenly a hand was cupped against his groin. He feebly pushed it with his hand, but Tobias began massaging him through the thin material of his boxers, and Tai couldn't help bucking up against the pressure.

"Ahhh…"

"Hey assholes! Hurry the fuck up and get out to the bus! The whole fucking neighbourhood is waiting for you! We not allowed to leave until you get your asses downstairs!"

"Go away, we're busy!" Tai shivered at the sound of Toby's lusty deep voice. "We're not coming today…"

"Oh, I bet you're busy, fucking your boyfriend, right? Too bad, get out here now! Or I'm getting Mrs. Hift."

Tai felt the weight slowly lift off of him, and he groaned, trying to pull the boy back on top of him.

"Please, can't we stay…just today…?" He hated the sound of his voice whining.

_Yuki hates that _

Whoa, where did that come from? This "Yuki" again? Who was he…? Despite what he had told Tobias, he was still unsure of what their relationship had been. His stomach lurched.

"Nevermind…" Tai averted his eyes from the older boy, who looked as though he was seriously considering staying. A look of surprise flashed by his eyes, but just for a second, because then he nodded his head.

"Whatever you say…anyways, hurry up and get ready."

"Says the boy in his boxers…"

"Hey, I can get ready in two minutes…you on the other hand, take a little longer…"

"…you have a point…"

Ten minutes later, Tobias was waiting impatiently at the door while Tai ran frantically around the room wearing his boxers. Finally, after getting a good laugh at his friend, he picked a clean pair of jeans and a small shirt out of his drawers and threw it at Tai.

"Just get dressed…we'll figure out where your clothes went later…"

"Okay, thanks," Tai pulled on the clothes in record time and raced for the door. Tobias rolled his eyes.

"Let's get going…"

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Eiri got up from his seat as the boarding call for his plane came over the announcements. All day long he'd been dreading the return to Japan…the return to his parents, to Tohma's mocking face, the confession to them…

He really didn't want to go back….he really didn't want to go back…so why the hell was he going back?

To his life, of course…to his editor…his annoying brother-in-law, to his equally annoying sister…an empty house, an empty life…not much of a life there…oh wait, his parents…they're always charming to spend time with…To tell the truth, if he stayed for a few more weeks…months….it wouldn't be a big deal…he could always email in chapters to Mizuki…

The writer stood in the center of the airport, earning death glares from overzealous travelers. Should he just stay…? Only for a bit longer, but maybe he could use a little more time to get over Shuichi before he went back to the constant reminders of his dead lover. Maybe…

Yes, he decided, he would stay, but only for a few more weeks…maybe a month…maybe two…okay, maybe not two months, Tohma would kill him…and then reincarnate him and let Mika and his parents kill him. Hmm…maybe just one month would be enough time to get his thoughts together.

He pulled out his cell phone and dialed Tohma's work number.

"Eiri? Are you on your way home?"

"Not quite yet Tohma…"

Silence on the other end for a second.

"You're staying?"

"Only for an extra month or two."

Another pause.

"I see…you still need time to let go of him…maybe a bit more time will do you some good. But Eiri?"

"Yes?"

"You can't avoid coming home…even if I have to come there and drag you back unconscious."

"I know. Good bye"

Turning to leave, he dumped his plane ticket into the trash can and walked through the airport doors back into the air of New York.

_Flashback_

_"We're here! We're here! Yuki, we made it without dying!" Shuichi bounced out the doors of the airport and was hit by a blast of heat. "Oh, it's so hot Yuki, I'm glad I'm wearing shorts!"_

_Eiri coolly adjusted his sunglasses on his nose and walked out to stand beside his more-than-usually excited lover. The sun was just setting over the ocean, reflecting beautiful colours into the water and the clouds._

_"Aren't you hot Yuki?" The incessant chatter broke him out of his reverie, but it wasn't quite as annoying as usual._

_"Not really."_

_"Are you wearing sunscreen Yuki? Your skin is so pale, you might get a burn."_

_"I don't burn."_

_"That's what everyone says, and still they get bad burns, and ruin their skin, and get cancer and die and leave their healthy-skinned boyfriends all alone to put on their sunscreen all by themselves."_

_"Is that an invitation?"_

_"Um…sure."_

_"Okay." _

_ Shuichi grinned and held out his arms expectantly at Eiri._

_"Well, you don't expect me to put in on now, do you?"_

_"Why not?" There was the pout…uhoh…_

_"Because the sun is setting…you don't need sunscreen."_

_Eiri waited for the customary 'pleeeeeeeeeeeeease' so he could customary reply with his coldest "no" but it never came. Instead, he turned to see Shuichi staring at the down, clenching his fists at his side. His eyes were filling up with tears, and his nose was beginning to run, but still he didn't say anything. Eiri felt a wave of guilt crash into him._

_"Shuichi?"_

_"Yes?"_

_ Eiri sighed, "I'll put your sunscreen on for you, okay? Then we can go for a walk along the beach so the sunscreen will be put to some use."_

_He almost regretted it when Shuichi raised his head, and a crazy grin took over his face as he launched himself towards Eiri._

_"Yah! I love Yuki!"_

_Almost…_

_End Flashback_

Eiri stood staring at the smoggy sunset, barely visible through the buildings in the distance.

It was true, he definitely needed a bit more time before he let go.

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**Author's note**: Phew, that chapter was a toughie…hmm….a bit longer than usual…and when I saw usual, I mean the amount that I mean to write, although mostly I go over that amount, so this is average…yeah….just thought I'd say that! Haha thanks so much for all the reviews! They're so great…still wondering about not being able to respond to them…is that true?


	13. Fan Club

**Author's Note:** Okay, so I figure that I'll just be working on this story for the rest of my life…or maybe just the year…holy crap it's taking a long time! But I promise never to give up (it would haunt me in my dreams for the rest of my life… or maybe just the year…) hmm deja vue…? That's strange…anyways, I'm off on a random…

The point is, if I'm ever sounding like I might quit, bombard me with hate email…and remind me of these fatal words, and I'll have to keep going…

So I'm trying to get up enough chapters so that I can post one a week…I actually thought that this fic would only take up the summer, but apparently I was wrong…very wrong..but no worries… I just don't have enough time anymore to do it that often…only on free weekends. I dunno…I'm sorry to be such a failure.

There you go, I'm sure more will join the list…and maybe I'll find a way to add these poor souls back into the story… 

_Flashbacks_

Reality

**Chapter Thirteen**

The hiss of the bus brakes as it pulled into the school parking lot had a new meaning of horror for Tai. Not only was he feeling sick, awkward around Tobias, and having the biggest hangover that he could ever remember, he had just remembered that he had detention that night. Could the day get any worse?

"Watch it queer!" A beefy shoulder rammed into his side, sending him to the ground as he attempted to get off the bus. His hands slipped against the slippery pavement, and he fell flat on his stomach, scrapping his cheek roughly. The receding figure of Dan in the distance confirmed his suspicions. Sorely, he picked himself up off the ground and headed for the school.

Where the hell was Tobias? When did he get off the bus? Because he hasn't gotten off before him, and now he was nowhere in sight. Excellent…

"Toby?" No answer, not surprisingly, as the parking lot was deserted. "Toby?" A door creaked open with a loud sound nearby, and Tai looked over just in time to see a blond head disappearing through the door. He ran over.

"Toby?" Why would his friend be running from him? Was he mad or something? What is about what happened this morning, or what hadn't happened before that? Maybe he was mad that it took so long for him to want it…It was driving him crazy…what was wrong with him?

Tai's hand, which until now had been hovering just above the handle flew down, yanked the door opened, and he stepped inside, just to see Toby's head disappear around the hallway to his left.

"Hey! Wait up!" There was no response from Toby's back. Tai saw the side of his face as he turned yet another corner and kept on walking. The boy's expression was completely serious, more so than he had ever seen in Toby before. What was going on with him?

Just as Tai stepped past a supplies closet, and slender arm leaned out and grabbed him by the shirt collar. He was pulled tight to a definitely female body, and yanked inside the closet. A scent wafted past his nose that was so strong, and yet slightly familiar. It reminded him of someone…but whom? Who, that he knew, smelled like oranges? It was a girl…definitely…but…

He turned his head as far to the left as allowed, and found himself gazing into a pair of big, green eyes, framed by blond bangs.

_Flashback_

_He was standing in the middle of a big, shiny building. People were rushing everywhere; they all looked like they were in a big hurry. Along the walls were plaques and framed memorabilia, but it didn't concern him…he'd seen it a hundred times…he was there because he was looking for someone._

_"Oi!" His head turned to the source of the voice, but no one was there._

_"He's hiding again." Looking down, he was mildly surprised to find a small, blond man standing beside him. But not too surprised, you had to learn to expect the sneaky way that the blond came up to you like that._

_"Where's he hiding?" The blond's green eyes widened innocently._

_"If I knew, wouldn't I tell you?" He knew the answer to that…obviously he was on his own…but…_

_"Here I am! Surprise!" He felt the air being knocked out of him as a blur hurdled itself at his chest and pinned him to the ground. Then, the weight was lifted, and he felt strong arms pulling him to his feet. Expecting to see someone else, he turned around and encountered a pair of laughing green eyes, with pieces of hair falling into them._

_"Be careful…"_

_End Flashback_

Bubbles filled his head…thoughts were fuzzy…scattered, his mind was all over the place. Where was he? Who was he? He was looking for something…but what? Voices pushed through the black blanket of his thoughts. Something brushed across the side of his face. A finger poked his stomach, and he swatted it away.

"Ow…" A high pitched giggle burst through his cloud. What the hell?

"I think he's waking up…" More giggles, "Poke him again."

"Don't!"

A muffled scream came as he sat up quickly, flailing his arms to ward off any oncoming fingers. He tried to open his eyes, but every thing was dark. It pressed in on him, choking him, killing him.

CLICK

A dim light flickered on to his left. To his relief, he saw that he was standing in a supplies closet. To his horror, he was surrounded by about six girls, who looked a little angry. For a moment, he took it all in, trying to gather his thoughts. Then he remembered. Tai.

"Is he like, okay?" One of the smaller girls peered out from another girl's shoulder in concern. "He looks a little, like, uh…out of it or something…"

"Yeah, he's okay. Just give him a second." The authoritative voice caught his attention, and he looked in the direction of the owner. It was the blond girl, who looked so familiar. What had they been looking for?

Wait….looking for? What was he talking about?...Something about his memory…but it wasn't this girl, was it? Was it even a girl he was thinking of? No, he didn't think so…it was a man. He was feminine, but it was a man. And they had been looking for something. No, someone. Tai himself had been looking for someone, and this man knew where he was, and wouldn't tell him. A blur flashed through his mind again. Had he ever found who he was looking for?

"Excuse me, could I have your attention for just a second there? Hello, I'm talking to you pretty boy." The use of the ever-so-affectionate nickname that Dan and Greg had given him snapped him back to reality.

"Sorry," Damn, why was he apologizing? They were the ones who had kidnapped him into this closet. He adopted a more hostile tone. "What do you want?"

"Whoa, no need to get snarky, just calm down...we only want to talk to you…just for a minute."

"In the broom closet? Is it that important?"

"You'd be surprised. Let me introduce myself. I'm Laura. This is Catherine, Abby, Lisa, Opal and Charity. But you don't need to remember their names, because if you do what we tell you to do, you'll never hear from us again." Tai got a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. You know the kind you get when you fall in the water with all your clothes and boots on? Kind of like that.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing, for the—" Laura's nose twitched. "What's that smell?"

"What? I…I dunno, what do you smell?"

"It's…it's him!" The girls all gasped collectively. "Oh my gosh!" One of them wailed, "Is he like, in here too? My hair is a mess!"

"No, he's not in here…it's the boy…it's All. Over. Him."

"What, excuse me, what's all over me?"

"You. Dirty. Slut!" The look on the girl's face was once more a cold, familiar expression. Where had he seen this face before? But he had a more present problem to deal with. The girls were closing in on him. What had she just called him, a slut? What the hell, did he know these girls or something? Then, it occurred to him.

"Uhoh."

"Yeah, that's right, uhoh. Who do you think you are? You have no right to just—"

"Okaaay I think you have something a little confused right here…"

"And what would that be? That you somehow seduced Him?" The girl looked around furtively, and then leaned into Tai. "You somehow stole the affections of our…Tobias."

Oh. Crap. He'd been right.

"Or maybe he just 'fell in love' with you, is that it? Well sorry to burst your bubble, but that boy hasn't ever shown any interest in anyone at this school. Girl OR boy. What makes you think that you're so different from the rest of us, that you can forcibly squirm your way into his heart? What drugs are you using?"

"Um…I think you should know something."

The girl stopped in mid-rant. "What?"

"I'm not his lover. I'm his roommate." Laura stared at him in incomprehension for a moment.

"Seriously. I just smell like him because, we uh, use the same cologne." Her scrutinizing gaze never left his face. Damn, she was so hard to read. Did she believe him or not?

"You're wearing his clothes."

"I borrowed some from him because mine were dirty." At least he could tell the truth about some things. But, what did she think?

"Okay." Laura completely surprised him by complying easily. "You're free to go."

"Pardon?"

"You can go now." Feeling a little annoyed at being dismissed so flippantly after being held captive against his will, Tai made his way to the door.

"But if we find out from our sources that you and him are…well…you know, you'd better run really far."

Trying to make it look as though he was unfazed by the threat, Tai pulled open the door, shut it behind him, and ran down the hallway as fast as he could.

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Eiri shook hands with the friendly land lord, sealing the contract. He had rented out an apartment for the next two months (despite Tohma's protests), after all, he could always leave before the lease was up. Now all that was left was to go shopping. His favourite.

As the landlord walked back to the elevator, a young woman came out of the apartment two doors away from Eiri.

"Oh! Excuse me! I think I need someone to help me with my pipes, they're leaking again." The landlord looked at her apologetically.

"Sorry, the handyman is on vacation until the middle of next week…can you wait until then?"

"What do you think?" She asked a little viciously, opening her door a little wider, and allowing a small wave of water into the hallway.

"Right, well, you could call a plumber…"

"I don't have money for a plumber! I have to pay these outrageous rates just to live here! What makes you think I can even afford to feed myself?"

Eiri found himself stepping out into the hallway.

"I can fix it. I have some experience with pipes…" He thought back to the time that Shuichi had decided to "fix" a leak, and ended up completely altering the flow of all the water throughout the apartment to random open pipes in the walls. That had been quite the…adventure, trying to fix it.

The woman looked over at him, and smiled disarmingly. He blinked in surprise; she was so beautiful, for an American…

"My name's Annie."

"Eiri."

The landlord came over and clapped his hand down on Eiri's shoulder. "Thanks, you really saved the day here." Eiri tried not to snicker at the cheesy expression. He didn't want Annie to think that he was…

What? Cold, sarcastic, even, dare he think it, uncaring? The kind of person who yells at his lover to show his love? Well, no, he didn't want her to think that, obviously. If she already though badly of him before he even…

Even what? Was he attracted to this girl? Was he ever going to stop interrupting himself?...Probably not. But he could at least try to be a better person, just this once. He wouldn't be in America for long, he could at least leave one person with a good impression of himself. Shuichi would be proud.

Eiri pulled himself out of his thoughts to see Annie staring at him. Crap, did she say something? Great way to start off.

"Sorry," Eiri gave her his most charming smile, " I didn't catch that."

"I said, are you going to stand there all day dreaming, or are you coming in to fix these stupid pipes?" Oh.

She lead the slightly disgruntled author into her kitchen, when the water was about ankle high. A pipe sticking out from underneath the sink seemed to be the source of the water; it was gushing out like a water fall. Eiri took another step, onto the linoleum floor, and promptly slipped.

He sat in the water for a second, shocked. Did he just…slip? What was wrong with him? The great Eiri Yuki, falling into a puddle? That was something Shuichi would do. Something that he would have laughed at Shuichi for doing. Much like Annie was now laughing at him.

"Um, are you okay?" She managed to get out those few words before collapsing into laughter again.

"Physically yes…I can't speak for my dignity though…Anyways, let's get looking at this." He took Annie's offered hand, and found himself hauled to his feet with reasonable strength.

"So," He grinned, "What seems to be the problem here?"

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Tai looked into the mirrors in the boy's bathroom. They were covered in graffiti, rude comments about girls, and the usual insults to teachers, and whatever else people felt it necessary to tell people.

READ ME, one of the advertisements commanded, followed by nothing else except a picture of a guy with two noses. One especially caught his attention, and was painted in a bright pink. He read it aloud.

"I'm gay." Well, that was incredibly useful, considering it wasn't signed or anything. Why someone would take the time to paint that across this poor mirror was –

"We know." Fear starting in Tai's stomach ran in goose bumps up his arms. How did these guys always seem to know where he was? It was like they were following him or something…

"We always see you with that freak, fawning over him, and holding his hand," Dan practically spat the words out of his mouth, "It's disgusting. You're disgusting."

Tai tried to subtly edge towards the door. Maybe if he kept them talking, he could make a break for it…it always worked in the movies, right? Unfortunately, Greg seemed to read his mind; he walked over to the door and slid the lock across. Tai silently cursed whoever had thought that a lock on a multi-stalled bathroom door was a good idea.

"You're not going to get away quite as easily as last time pretty boy. Last time, there were people there, watching, but now we have you alone, we can do whatever we want…" Tai's tormentors grinned as they drew closer, and he knew that this time they were serious…they really could do whatever they wanted to him, and Toby wouldn't be there to save him. His throat seized up.

All at once, Dan and Greg lunged towards him and pinned him to the ground, with his arms held above his head. Tai, in desperation to get away, squirmed with all his strength until he managed to flip himself around, and was facing the floor. But this position wasn't really any better. His limbs started shaking violently; he could feel Dan's leg muscles clench around his back, and Greg tightened his grip on his arms. Something was really wrong here. His fear was going out of control. They hadn't even done anything to him yet, and he was so afraid, he could die. Why did being held like this scare him so much? Had something happened…before?

He twisted his head as far as he could to the side, and saw, in the mirror, the fluorescent light reflecting sharply into his eyes…almost like a camera flash.

_Flashback_

"_Ahh!" He was lying on his stomach on a concrete surface, with tears streaming down his face. Someone was sitting on his back, preventing him from getting up._

"_Don't bother…no one can hear you down here. Your precious boyfriend can't save you…he doesn't even care where you are, or he's be looking for you, wouldn't he? You're such a stupid, naive kid…don't you realize that he'll never appreciate this? He'll never thank you for taking all this just for him…he won't even care. He probably won't even want to talk to you after this, you disgusting whore." That voice, it was so cold and bitter…it hurt to listen to. But he was doing this for a reason; he was protecting someone from something bad._

"_Just give up now." No, he'd never give up. He couldn't. He had to protect…his love…_

"_Fine then," The voice chuckled maliciously, "Smile for the camera."_

_He screamed again and again while his clothes were ripped off his body and thrown in a pile in the corner. The humiliation was almost greater than the pain as one after another, they violated his body, taking pictures of his shame._

_End Flashback_

The pounding on the bathroom grew louder and louder until finally a teacher who had the key flung open the door to see a horrified Dan and Greg standing over the unconscious body of Tai.

"What's going on here?" He demanded, but the boys were frozen in fear. For the moment, everywhere stood where they were, watching Tai as he began to moan and flail violently.

"Tai!" A blond blur rushed past him to kneel at the boy's side. The appearance of Toby seemed to shake the two bullies out of their silent state.

"We didn't do anything, I swear!"

"We were just talking to him, and he collapsed, right here! We really didn't do anything!"

"Did you touch him?" Toby demanded." Did you?"

"No. Well…just a little friendly wrestling, but…"

"Did you hurt him?" Toby grabbed Dan's shoulders and shoved him up against the wall. "If you hurt him…I'll kill you." He shoved his knee up into Dan's stomach before the teachers and students managed to peel him away. Even then, they had to hold his arms back to keep him from attacking the boy again.

Toby finally gave up, going limp in the arms of his restrainers. Then, when they loosened their grip a bit, he ran forward to kneel beside Tai.

"Tai? Tai? Answer me! You're scaring me!" Toby started shaking uncontrollably. He reached for Tai's head to hold in his lap. "Please, wake up! Please! Please!"

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**Author's note:** Well, I'm actually proud of this one, it only took me a few days to write it…wow…I really need to get started on chapter fourteen…like, right now, so I'm cutting this note short…

One last thing, I was sad to see that some of you don't like Tobias! I mean, he is kinda creepy with his blood pacts and the such, but jeez, don't be so hard on the poor guy…that opportunity will come later……

…I've already said to much…ciao


	14. Waking Again, Again

Okay, I know that most of you are rooting for Eiri and Shuichi… In fact, I think some of you are going to be a little angry at this chapter…so beforehand, I am apologizing, and if you want, I don't mind rants about my enormous lack of skill, especially about this chapter, because I don't like the beginning of it.. I was writing really mechanically, with no feeling, because my inspiration ran away, but luckily I abandoned writing for a few days, and my inspiration came home (I think it was hungry) I tried to go back, but I really needed to write as much as possible before it got away again…

Please don't hate me, I'm just trying to write the story, ignore the pairings! They'll be right in the end! Where's the fun in reading it if there isn't some kind of conflict first?

My conscience has also reminded me to tell you that…actually, I'd better tell you after you read the chapter….see you in the bottom author's note.

**Chapter Fourteen**

_"Eiri! Eiri! Look! It's Ryuichi, over there!"_

_"Wait! Look out for that car—"_

Beep

Beep

The sounds of a hospital were everywhere. Machines, people, carts, crying. Wait…the crying was pretty close. Maybe even in this room. Tai cautiously peeled open one eye, to see a familiar blonde boy curled up in one of the chairs, with his face buried on the bed that Tai was currently lying in. The small boy lay there for a few seconds, trying to remember why he was there. Last thing he had remembered, he was in the boy's bathroom…with Dan and Greg! And then, in a basement or something? Where the hell had they taken him.

His body twitched involuntarily as he recalled the flashing lights and the humiliating pain. But something was wrong. Tai knew that Dan and Greg were bullies, but would they really go that far? They were only sixteen after all, it didn't seem likely. And had someone else been there? He remembered that voice…that awful, cruel hateful voice that he hadn't recognized, but was so familiar.

A gasp drew his attention to Toby, who was now in the process of lunging for his chest.

"I thought you were dead! Those assholes said that they didn't do anything, but I know they did! Did they do anything awful? Did they hurt you? Did—"

"What happened?" Toby looked a little peeved at being interrupted, but told him anyways.

"Well, I got off the bus, and you weren't there, so I thought you already went into the school without me, so I went in too." Tai nodded, beginning to remember the strange chase through the hallways. "Then, you weren't in the classroom, so I walked around the school for a while, but I couldn't find you. Then I was walking by the bathroom and I saw the crowd…and you were just…lying there on the floor like…" At this point he had to stop to compose himself. Tai looked away to give him a bit of privacy.

"They told the teachers that you were just playing a game or roughhousing or some bullshit like that, and you collapsed, but I know that's not what happened."

Tai pulled himself up in the bed until he was in an upright position, absentmindedly rubbing his neck with his hand. Something had happened. But not today…sometime from before. When he knew who he was. He was sure of it.

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Eiri was currently sitting on Annie's sofa, waiting for the girl to come back from doing god-knows-what in the kitchen. He heard a crash, and a squeak following it, decided that she might be a while, and so got up to discreetly explore the room.

The mantle above the "fireplace" was the first thing he checked, walking down to see all the pictures of old people (the ones who appeared most often must have been her parents) and her with some other girls at a wedding (as a bridesmaid) a few cute animals, and a lot more random things. People's mantles were like a window into their soul. Seriously, he had written that sometime, in one of his novels. Just one of those things to see if people were paying attention to the plot, or just the…content.

Next, he checked her movie collection: only a lot of boring American movies, one's that he'd seen dubbed over in Japan. Not much of interest here.

What he really found….significant, was her book shelf. Casually, he picked up a pile to leaf through. One could tell anything about a girl from the books he read. The first one was a well-known American book, the second (he grinned) Harry Potter, some romance novel (or so he assumed from the picture on the front) and then, to his immense surprise, a translated version of one of _his _more well known books. Needless to say, he was very pleased. Setting the other books back down, he wandered back over to the couch, and lay back, propping his feet up by the coffee table. Eiri wondered if she had recognized him.

"Get your friggin' feet off my couch! What do you think this is, your house or some—" She stopped midsentence when she saw what he was reading. Her face turned red.

"Oh, that…that's just some book my…uh…friend gave me for a present…it's just…uhh…" Finally giving up, she reached over to grab it from him and put it in her lap.

"Here. Have some coffee." She handed him the steaming mug, and he took it, smirking in amusement at her embarrassment.

"I really don't know…uh…how I left this out…sorry…" But she caught sight of the other books lying on the bookshelf. "Hey! You were going through my stuff! You have no right—"

"Sorry." She stared at him for a second; he tried not to laugh. Then, her anger seemed to fade away as she looked closer at his face. The look in her eyes was hypnotic, and it, in a little way, frightened Eiri.

"You know, you look really familiar…where did you live before?"

"Japan?"

"Really? Are you…Japanese?"

"Yeah…"

"Wow, I didn't notice…I wonder how I know…"

Eiri grinned at her for a moment, then decided to let her in on the secret. He leaned over, plucked the book from her lap, and flipped to the page dedicated to the author. The description had been rewritten into English, and honestly didn't make a lot of sense, but the picture was still there. He put the picture up beside his face.

"Do you recognize me now?" He laughed out loud at the shocked expression on her face.

"Oh. My. God! _You _are the great Eiri Yuki? Somehow I thought you'd be a little more…Japanese? I don't know! Oh my god, this is such an honor! Can I have your autograph or something…no, bad Annie, uh…can I um…okay, can I have your autograph! Wow, I've read all your books, they're so great! I love them! They're just so—"

Abruptly the ramble stopped. Eiri looked over to see her staring into her lap, clenching her fingers between her knees. A blush was spread across her face.

"Sorry," she mumbled, barely audible, "I'm acting like a crazy fan-girl…"

"It's okay." Eiri surprised himself by laughing heartily. "I get this a lot…I was just surprised that you read my books. I didn't think many people read them here." And he really was surprised. When his editor had told him that his books were going to be translated, he had practically ignored the information, only becoming involved enough to give his assent in the matter, and forget about it. One thought that he did remember having was that nobody was ever going to read a foreign romance novel. He wouldn't have read one from America…well, maybe he would have, he didn't know.

"They don't." Eiri drew back for a second, and Annie immediately coloured again. "No offense! Just, I found it in a used book store…I didn't realize that you were still um…young. I actually thought you were…um…really old by now…yeah…"

The words took a moment to sink in, and when they did, Eiri wasn't sure whether to be offended, or to laugh again. Eventually, he chose the latter. Of course, this was the wrong choice, and he knew it. He regretted the laugh the moment it left his mouth, and still, he couldn't stop it. It almost felt like adolescence again, well, earlier adolescence at least.

"Don't laugh at me!" Annie snapped at him. "It's not my fault you dirty old man!" This only made him laugh harder. "Shut up! It's not funny! Shut up you pervert!" Her face got redder and redder, and Eiri felt terrible, but he was starting to feel strangely. Almost, hysterical, which would explain this strange uncontrollable laughter that he almost _never_ experienced.

He kept laughing until he got punched in the stomach. Then he stopped.

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It took a long time before Tai was allowed to go home. He was once again under the observations of Dr. James, the kind doctor who had been helping him during his first few weeks in America, and the doctor was even more reluctant to let him go, especially after he had extracted some horror stories of Tai's torturers from the boy. Unfortunately, there was nothing he could really do to stop it, if he called social services, he may ruin the reputation of the orphanage, and Tai had adamantly begged him not to do anything about it. The small boy seemed to already have a plan to deal with it, the details of which the doctor was not familiar with, but Tai had told him that the tall blond boy, who was always visiting, protected him from the brunt of the bullying. And it gave the kind doctor a good feeling, knowing that there was someone else looking out for the fragile boy. At least better than knowing that he was alone in this terrible (in the doctor's opinion) city.

The two had also had a long chat about the effects of Tai's memory loss, and after Dr. James found out about his violent flashbacks, he was very curious to learn more. Digging deeper produced a list that Tai had secretly written down of everything he could remember of each episode. This information greatly intrigued the doctor, that the boy was able to have small gaps in the mental barrier of the amnesia was, although common enough, strange with such little mental stimulation and recognition of familiar objects.

The bond they shared really was beneficial to them both. Tai would tell the doctor about the different things that seemed to triggr flashbacks, and how these things were incorporated into the memories. Dr. James would eagerly write these down in his little green notebook. Then, he would explain many of the scientific aspects of amnesia to the curious boy. He would tell Tai about how amnesia, in some cases, could lead to personality suppression, after all, personality was largely built on experience. Another thing that Tai was incredibly interested in was the repetition of some elements (and people) in his flashbacks. The doctor explained to him that some people and events left such a strong emotional impression, that they became more than just memories, and more like a part of the person they affected. Which might explain the repeated appearances of "Eiri".

After Tai described to him the multiple encounters with this stranger in his flashbacks, Dr. James warned him that he had probably been romantically involved (the doctor's term), with this "Eiri", unless it was just an unusually strong bond between friends. But most likely they had been intimate.

The boy chose not to reveal this new development to Tobias. Not just because of the blood pact (from which his hand still bored a scar that Dr. James told him may never go away) but also, he didn't want to believe it himself. The thought that there was someone out there that still loved him and missed him was a terrible, terrible thing, and had already caused him many sleepless nights. (It never occurred to him that they might have broken up.)

But also, the influence of blood pact couldn't be cast aside so easily. Tai had seen the look in Toby's eyes, felt the intensity of his fear, and his passion. He knew that Toby counted on him for so much, and, judging from the blond boy's behavior, would not survive being "betrayed again". What the boy also knew, was that he may have been increasing the eventual impact that this would have on his friend, but he was willing to risk it in the event that there was really nothing to worry about. It _was_ possible (God forbid) that he would never regain his memory, and someday he would forget about this man he _might_ have loved sometime in the undefined past. And even if he did remember, it wasn't as though he could go back to Japan; he was only 16, and could not legally live on his own.

Sometimes, he even lay in his uncomfortable hospital bed at night, and imagined a tearful parting with such a beautiful stranger. In his imagination, they were both crying uncontrollably in each other's arms. Then, the last, tearful goodbye kiss, that sometimes ended with him running out the door, trying desperately to stop crying, and some ending with them taking the kiss further. But whatever the version, Tai felt there was something…missing, somehow. Something just wasn't right about how his stranger would carry on in his mind, sobbing and trying to prevent Tai from leaving.

One night, as he was desperately to remember a real incident, Tai drifted slowly off to sleep, and his dream took a strange turn.

_He was staring deep into the usually familiar but still unsettling pair of lightly coloured eyes, inches away from the face of the stranger. Their noses were almost touching, and the stranger's silky blond hair caressed his face, tickling his cheek. Emotions were rushing through his brain at warped speed. He was happy, excited, bursting with love, depressed to leave, mad to not get more of a reaction, then happy again to be where he was._

_He heaved a contented sigh, and lay his head down on his beautiful stranger's chest. This is was so nice, being close like this…_

"_Get off me brat, I can't breathe!" A strong force pressed against his stomach, and he found himself flat on the floor. As he opened his mouth to protest, the door flew open with a bang, and a man, a new man that he hadn't seen before, but had seen before, stormed into the room. His blond hair swirled behind him in the breeze from the window, and for a second, he looked like a super hero. A very scary super hero. _

_He felt himself shrink away as the American's gaze turned to him, but it was useless._

"_You're late for work! We've been waiting for you for at least an hour! Come on!" The man strode over meaningfully and grabbed him by the collar._

"_Ah! No! Help! Yuki! Save me!" He desperately grabbed at his stranger's shirt, but he didn't get a response, save a mild glare._

"_Come on! Your boyfriend obviously doesn't care for you! Let's go!" But still the American stood there for a second, looking challengingly at his "boyfriend". Said man stood up abruptly, tore his struggling body from the American's grasp, and delicately kissed him. Then he smirked up at the American._

"_Goodbye," he said mockingly, "I'll miss you, Shuichi."_

**Author's note:** Sorry, short chapter…but it couldn't be helped…I wanted it to end like that (he…)

Okay, did you see my little mess up? Were you paying attention? If you review, tell me what it is! (If you're right, you get...um...a hug! Yes, that's right, a whole hug!)

Oh yes, and I wanted to tell you that I need to emphasize greatly that there will be no Eiri x Annie! They are just going to be friends…for now…(JOKES I swear just friends for the whole frigging story!) So don't hurt me! (for that reason)


	15. Shiny

**Chapter Fifteen**

_I'll miss you, Shuichi, _

_I'll miss you, Shuichi_

_I'll miss you, Shuichi_

_Shuichi_

_Shuichi_

_Shuichi_

"No!" Tai sat bolt upright, screaming as loud as he could. Perspiration ran down his face and into his already soaked hospital clothes. The sound of his heart pounding, and his ragged breathing took over his senses, and forced him to concentrate solely on calming down. Using his tried-and-true method of thinking of absolutely nothing, except breathing deeply, Tai eventually slowed his screaming nerves.

Slowly, slowly, he leaned back into the bed and stared up at the ceiling. Thoughts raced through his brain. Had that been a dream…or a memory? It was so clear, as if it had actually happened. But, it couldn't have been right…the man had called him "Shuichi", and that name was so familiar, tugging at the edges of his memory, but still not triggering anything.

"Shuichi." Tai said it out loud, just to try it out on his tongue. It felt so good, so right, so he tried it again.

"Shuichi. Shuichi…Shindou Shuichi!" A feeling of immense achievement washed over him, and he clapped his hands excitedly over this new discovery.

"Shindou Shuichi."

Tai sat back to reflect on his new discovery. That name was so familiar; he recognized the way it felt when he said it, as though he knew it intimately, and had said it many times in his life. It wasn't his name, so maybe a close friend's? That would account for the familiarity, but then why would that man be calling him by it. Was "Shuichi" a nickname? A joke between them? No, it seemed like more than that; it seemed a lot bigger. Every time he said it, he felt closer to remembering…something…anything.

Tai tried to dismiss the thought; it was hurting his head. But still there was a nagging doubt in his mind...Shuichi…

For the rest of the morning, Tai wandered around the hospital, half preoccupied with his thoughts, and looking for something to do with the other half of his attention. Finally, in what was (to him) certainly a miracle, he stumbled across the children's ward. His first peek showed him a large, colouful room decoreated with crayon pictures, finger paintings, and bright posters with sayings such as: "Don't worry, be happy," and things like that.

One of the posters hanging near the door especially caught the teen's attention. It had originally said "reach for the stars, and keep your feet on the ground" but someone, (a kid presumably) had crossed out the last part, and it now said, "Reach for the stars, and you'll never have to have your feet on the ground again." There was something about that, which made him feel all…glowy inside. Tai smiled widely and stepped into the room to explore further.

Immediately, he was surrounded by a group of young children, demanding things of him.

"Will you mix my paints?"

"Will you build a puzzle with me?"

"Do you know how to turn on the TV?"

"Can you sing a song with us?"

At a soft tug on his shirt, Tai turned around to see a solemn little girl staring up at him, sucking on her thumb. "Will you draw with me?" She murmured around her fist. Tai felt his heart go out to her.

In an attempt to fulfill all their requests, Tai speedily mixed some paint colours together, succeeded in turning on a movie, got open a puzzle, and sprawled out on his stomach on the carpet with all the kids. In front of him, he laid the puzzle, and helped the boy across from him start it, and to his sides, were the little girl, and another aspiring artist, with whom he was also colouring. At the same time, he started to sing a children's song he had heard on TV.

Needless to say, he was an immediate hit. Everyone gathered to be around him, clapping their hands and singing along, and, failing to be able to sit in his lap, they climbed up and sat along his back.

Tai basked in the attention while reflecting on his state of mind. He hadn't felt at peace like this in weeks. Grinning happily, he pulled a sparkly crayon out of the box, and started scribbling on the paper, with no intention of drawing anything particular. All he wanted was to see the nice colour. But as the blob grew, the picture started to turn into something; he filled in the spaces around the blob. Tai found himself humming under his breath.

The little girl beside him leaned over to see what he was doing. Her eyes widened.

"Shiny!" She exclaimed.

_Flashback_

"_Shiny, Shiny, Shiny, Shiny, Shiny…Shuichi!" There was that name again…this time, coming from a brown haired person in the corner who was drawing a picture while lying on his stomach. The person looked up, and he saw a childish grin on a mature face. The man grinned at him._

"_Look Shu-chan! Look what I drew!" The man giggled cheerfully, waving the vivid paper around. On closer examination, it was drawn with the brightest colour known to crayon-kind, and now was actually on it's way to the man's stomach, as he had taken a bite out of it, and was chewing happily._

_He showed the man his picture in return. It was a stick figure with pink hair and hearts around his head, holding hands with a person with blonde hair. They were both smiling happily in their stick world. For some reason, looking at his own picture made him sad, and he found himself holding back tears._

_An incomprehensible looked crossed the man's face, then he grabbed a pink bunny out from beneath his chest, and threw it with all his might at the picture._

"_Don't you think about that Yuki meanie-san! I'll be your friend!" And with that, he was tackled to the ground with a big hug. The paper fluttered to the ground, forgotten, with a bunny sized hole where the blond stick man had been._

_End Flashback_

Tai found himself waking up peacefully from his memory, which was unusual, but looking around, he could guess why. With their afternoon of entertainment, the children had dozed off all around (an on top of) him, and were snoring peacefully. Sighing, he put his head back down on a nearby blanket, and drifted off to sleep.

x

This was the picture that greeted Dr. James as he finally found his patient. Tai had been M.I.A all day, and frankly, the man had begun to get worried. Looking in on his smiling face, surrounded by all the children, the doctor decided not to wake him just yet. Instead, he carefully picked his way across the room to examine a piece of paper clutched tightly in Tai's hand. It confused him for a second, with all the random scribbles over top everything else, but if he squinted, he could see the two smiling people underneath it. Sitting between them was a strange, shiny blob. The outline of some sort of animal was drawn around the person on the right, and on top of that, some slightly angry looking scratches in black. The doctor took a mental note of it for later, and then walked from the room.

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Eiri stood outside of Annie's door, thinking. The girl had slipped a note under his door that morning, while he was still sleeping, telling him to come her apartment at nine o'clock. It was ten minutes until now, and Eiri, as he usually would, left his apartment early in order to get there on time. As he slouched down against the wall, it occurred to him that he could throw habit out the window just this once, since her room was less than ten seconds away from him. Well, now he had nine minutes and thirty seconds to wonder at the note.

_Eiri,_

_I have a surprise for you at my apartment!_

_Come at exactly six o'clock…no later, no earlier…_

_Or else_

_(duh duh duhhhhh)_

_Annie._

_P.S. bring beer._

What the hell could she be up to? This surprise sounded…suspicious, well, at least to a naturally suspicious person like himself. He really didn't like surprises at all, in fact, last time someone had tried to throw him a surprise party, they ended up out of his good favors for months. Smiling, he thought back to those beautiful peaceful months that Tohma had only bothered him to send him apology chocolate…and that was hardly a bother, was it?

His watch said six, so Eiri pulled himself to his feet, and knocked on the door. He heard, to his surprise, two sets of footsteps coming up to the door. Then, it was flung open.

"Eiri! Such a surprise!" There was that cursed word again…but it was indeed a surprise, as Annie grabbed his shirt, and looking both ways down the hallway as a mock mobster, she pulled him in.

The author stumbled into the room quite ungracefully, landing in a heap on top of another man who had been standing directly behind Eiri. A quick apology was exchanged between the two men as Eiri climbed to his feet. The other man, who was introduced by Annie as Chase, her boyfriend, dusted off his clothes, and was discreetly shooting glares at the blond man, who was currently being brushed off by Annie. The girl, who wasn't a complete idiot, caught his glance, and sent him a disapproving look.

"Stop that!" Chase looked at her, startled to be caught. "This is the man I was telling you about, that has been so nice to me, and even fixed the pipes under the sink." Chase extended a wary hand to Eiri, who took it, and gave the author a brief nod. Eiri nodded back, and the rituals of male introductions were complete.

"Did you bring the beer?" In response, Eiri held up his sixpack.

"Alright! Let's drink!"

x

x

x

x

Eiri fumbled with the key to his apartment…he wasn't really drunk; he was just…a little drunk. Enough so that it took him a few minutes to fit the little tiny key into its equally tiny slot, and turn it the right way. Finally, he did it, and stumbled into the room. Crash…well, there goes the lamp…

The blond man fell onto the side table, knocking over some papers, another lamp, a book, the TV remote, and various other odds and ends that he had lazily dumped onto it. Wincing, he put a hand to his side, and tried to stand up one handed, which isn't always the best idea sober. The result; he fell again, this time directly onto his face.

Eiri glanced at his watch. Had they really drank that much beer in one hour? Wow, no wonder he was having trouble walking…

After this wipeout, he decided to just stay on the floor to avoid more injuries. Annie, who had been following him with Chase in tow, immediately began searching around the room, presumably as revenge for him sneaking around her apartment. Chase went off in search of the bathroom. Judging by the amount of vodka and beer he'd drunk, and the crashing sounds coming from the hallway, Eiri thought that he might be a while. He turned his attention back to Annie, who was now standing directly in front of a shelf, looking curiously at the one and only item that occupied it.

"Who…who was this?" Eiri turned to see Annie gesturing to the dark urn that he always carried around with him, with his favourite picture of Shuichi grinning up at him propped up against it. Sitting on the floor, Eiri considered pretending not to be able to see it from where he was, or claiming that he was babysitting. Both excuses seemed weak, even in his head. Apparently being an author didn't help coming up with excuses, only love proposals. Now, Annie was looking at him expectantly, and he still didn't have anything to tell her. Could he tell her about his relationship with Shuichi? Would she care…would she hate him? As he asked himself these questions, Eiri realized that he actually cared what she thought about him. Was it possible that they had become friends, in the small amount of time they had spent together? Their connection wasn't sexual, that's for sure…but then what was it? He had never really had a female friend before, and it scared him to think of Annie shunning him.

She was staring at him now, with a strange look on her face. With no idea what to do, Eiri reverted back to doing what he had done ever since the New York incident, but had stopped after he met Shuichi. He lied straight up to her face.

"A friend!" He blurted out the words defensively, but he could see Annie wasn't buying it. A skeptical look crossed her face.

"You carry your friend's ashes around with you? Doesn't he have…family, or a girlfriend or something?"

"Yes." Eiri chose his words carefully, trying to stall until he could think this whole situation over. The cloud of alcohol around his head wasn't really helping. "His family has half of the ashes."

Unsatisfied, Annie continued to look at him, waiting. Not having any notion whatsoever on a course of action, Eiri took a deep breath, and plunged into what might scare his friend away forever. "And," he went on, "he was my…boyfriend…" It felt so much better to tell her the truth, and he realized that he had no reason to be afraid. If she couldn't accept him for that, why would he want to be friends with her anyways. The author looked up to stare into her eyes, challenging her to be disgusted or afraid. But instead, he just saw interest in her blue eyes.

"Ah," Annie looked…happier? "Another mystery of Eiri Yuki's past, unraveled." Eiri smiled for a moment. She had understood him; it was times like these that he felt he had known her for years. And, it was exactly at these times that she reminded him of his singer.

"Do you think…" Annie interrupted his musings. "That him and I would have gotten along?" The author didn't even have to think about it.

"Definitely." A blush ran up her cheeks. "He would have loved you."

Chase chose this time to ruin their "moment", not by coming back into the room, but in fact, by the lack of his presence, because all of a sudden, a worried look crossed Annie's face, and she jumped around.

"Where's Chase?"

A moaning sound from the bathroom answered her question.

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Dr. James stared out the window of Tai's room, thinking and worrying. The boy still hadn't come back yet, but last time he had checked, Tai was still sleeping peacefully with the children a few floors down. That wasn't what he was worried about though…it was the picture Tai had drawn that was nagging at his conscious. The doctor knew so well that the sub-conscious mind expressed itself better than the conscious, and this picture was living proof. For a second, the popular cliché rang in his head…"_a picture's worth a thousand words"_ …and it was more true than most people knew. If he could decode this picture, then he could find out more about Tai's mind.

He looked down again at the rough sketch of the picture that he had made. It seemed to him like the two people were happy, they were holding hands, and the hearts above the smaller one's head indicated love. There weren't any hearts above the big figure's head though, maybe this showed one sided love? Or perhaps only the illusion of it…

Certainly one of the most confusing aspect of the picture was the bunny that was drawn over the picture of the man. In all his years of psychology, the doctor truly could not think of a reason why this could have been placed there. The bunny represented happiness, but that contradicted the other messages of the picture. It was possible…he supposed…that the bunny represented a replacement, since it was drawn around the blond stick man, and then filled in with black, maybe, a substitute that didn't quite fit the hole left by someone else.

And lastly, there were big black marks scribbled overtop of the drawing sheet. To the doctor, it seemed like this was a strong indication that the picture was something that Tai didn't want to remember. The placement of the black marks seemed significant to him, they covered up everything, as though there had been a problem briefly, and it was solved, so Tai didn't want to think about what had happened during that period of time any longer, but his subconscious still needed to sort it out.

Dr. James tried to sort this information out, and come to a solution. A possibility was that Tai had felt betrayed by this person, and turned to some one else, a friend perhaps, for comfort. But he felt guilty for betraying this person. The blob could have represented the person who came between them…

But this was all speculation of course…he couldn't know anything for sure.

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Author's note: Okay , don't hurt me…please…the last part is a little out there idea wise…I dunno…whatever, I like the way it's written, so I'm not going to change it…well, okay a few things…but I really need to get started on chapter 16 soon, so I can post this one.


	16. A Chance Meeting

**Chapter Sixteen**

The walls of the hospital had never looked merrier. In fact, they had never looked merry at all, and to make people happy was truly an incredibly feat. One accomplished, albeit, by the help of some pretty good news.

Annie and Eiri sat in the emergency room waiting area, finally relaxing after finding out that Chase was going to be all right. They had been sitting there for a while; according to the clock in the emergency room, it was eight, earlier than Eiri had originally thought. The nurse had just come to tell them that they would be able to see him in a few minutes. Knowing this, Annie then turned her attention to the more serious matter (in her eyes) of continuing the conversation of earlier that night with Eiri.

"So…" The blond man looked up from tapping his fingers impatiently along the arm of the chair, arching an eyebrow at her questioningly.

"So…" he echoed, darting a mischievous glance over at her. But the serious look on his face made him stop snickering. "What?"

"I just thought that while we have a second, we could talk."

"About what?" Eiri was genuinely confused.

She just looked at him, shaking her head.

"Him." The special emphasis on the word made it clear to the author who she meant.

"Oh, Him…" A few seconds ticked by…

"Okay, well, what do you want to know?"

"Anything…" Eiri racked his brains for something to tell her. What could she possibly mean by anything? He hated it when people were so vague…sighing, he picked the first random thing about Shuichi that came to mind.

"Well, he had…pink hair." The author started off slow, but kept going with an encouraging look from Annie. "And, he was little, and he had the strangest eyes, but he was, well, pretty cute I guess." His cheeks turned bright red.

"And he was crazy….he took everything completely literally, he had the strongest, craziest emotions that could change in a second. His favourite colour was pink, and he'd always wear it with all these other, clashing colour, and people would ask me if he was colourblind…" A laugh escaped his mouth as he remembered the outfit that Shuichi was wearing when he first saw the boy sing on stage…that terrible, terrible orange trench coat thing. Annie looked away pointedly as he wiped at his eyes with his sleeve.

"He had the craziest sense of humour, and he would spend hours laughing at some joke on a cartoon, and at random things on the street, and I would have no idea what he was even thinking about. And then sometimes, he would come home in such a depressed mood, crying and whining, and he could see one cute character on TV and be all happy and squealing again."

"I think that he was the most honest person I have ever known…and stubborn. When he met me for the first time, I said something to him that he…uh, didn't like, and he tracked me down to tell me off about it. He couldn't stand liars, or lying to anybody. It made him so angry once, when I accused him of lying to me…he cried."

"And he was so…affected…by everything that I did. All I had to do was smile, and he'd be mooning around for an hour. But, on the other hand, if I yelled at him for doing something stupid, he would be depressed for a day. He really cared about what I said…"

A memory of Shuichi and him, sitting in a restaurant popped into mind. They were sitting facing each other, and Shuichi was wearing some silly orange bow clipped onto his shirt, and it had just sat there, mocking the author. When he had finally lost his temper, and chucked the stupid thing across the room, Shuichi started crying. But just as Eiri was about to possibly make a roundabout apology, the boy started frantically apologizing to him, saying how sorry he was that he was annoying him with the bow, and Eiri should have told him because he would have taken it off.

The blond man felt tears coming to his eyes, and he tried his best to stop them, while he also tried valiantly to continue on in his description. It made him feel so good, to talk to someone about Shuichi; it was almost like he was with him again.

"And…I just…I can't stop thinking about him…I miss him so goddamn much. It's all I can do to force myself to eat and fall asleep at night. Even then, his face is the only thing I can ever think about. I don't know how much longer I can go without breaking down and dying. I need to let him go, but I can't..."

There was a light touch on his hand; he looked up to see Annie, with teary eyes mirroring his own, looking sadly up at him. Sniffing a bit, she held his hand up to her face and gave it a soft kiss.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, "I wish I could make the pain go away, but I know I can't…I'm sorry I can't help you…but only you can let him go."

Briefly, Eiri thought back to a day when he would be embarrassed by displays of affection like this, even alone, and yet here he was, pouring his heart out in a public waiting room, sobbing and completely unglued where total strangers could see him and judge him. To his surprise, that he didn't really care.

A soft noise to his right caught his attention; Annie was now crying softly into her hands. He was touched that she cared so much…

"Look…" she looked over to him with watery eyes. "You _have _helped…a lot. Believe me." A weak smile graced her delicate features.

"Just by talking, and listening while I talk about him, it all helps." Finally, a real smile. Mission accomplished; now Eiri could smile too.

They sat there in silence for a moment, both staring off into space and thinking different things. Eiri was remembering the last few times he had been in the hospital, specifically the time that Shuichi had fallen down the stairs in his apartment building and gotten a concussion. When he had arrived, and seen Shuichi look all twisted and broken at the bottom, his heart had stopped. And it didn't go back to normal, even after the singer recovered. After that, he had insisted that the singer take the elevator each time.

"I think…" Annie began.

"Hmm?" Eiri found himself truly curious about what she was going to tell him.

"I think that…talking about him is one of the steps to letting go. You need to realize that moving on won't make you forget him, and disrespect him, but it _will _make _you_ feel better…" There was a pause, and Eiri could see that she was really struggling at the moment.

"It's okay, I won't be angry…"

"…I have an idea."

"What?"

"It's kind of a surprise…"

"Oh, a surprise? Why do you think we're in this hospital in the first place?"

Annie laughed crazily through her tears. Then she began outlining her plan…without giving away any of the…finer details.

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Tai happily spun around the room in circle, holding on his new friends' arms, and singing as loud as possible. It was obvious that he had found a place where he belonged, reflected Dr. James. So strange that such a seemingly serious boy at first is really a five year old boy inside. It had been a while since he had discovered the boy sleeping amoung all the children at "nap" time, and ever since then, an enthusiastic Tai had woken up in the morning with a big smile on his face, and skipped over to the children's play room to spend the entire day there.

By now, the walls were partially coloured with his and the other children's handiwork; very brightly coloured streamers hung festively off the windows, courtesy of Tai.

A message blared over the P.A system, but it was impossible to hear with the amount of noise they were making. Quickly, the supervisor of the children shushed them so she could hear.

"Would Tai Retsuri, if he is in the building, please report to the front desk? That's Tai, Retsuri."

The doctor frowned, wondering who could possibly want to talk to him at this time of night. Speaking of which, it was about time that they left the children anyways to go to bed. He gathered up a reluctant boy, who said goodbye sadly to all his friends, bending down to give them all one big hug. They all grasped at him, trying to touch his shoulders, arms and face, and be the one receiving the biggest hug. Patiently, Dr. James stood at the door; he was used to this whole routine, since it happened every time they left.

Once outside, they parted ways, Tai promising to come back up to the doctor's office before going off to bed, and telling him who had come to call.

X

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Tobias sat in a chair by the front desk of the hospital, looking incredibly awkward. Amoung the sea of sick and grey patients, he stood out like a sore thumb. Needless to say, he happily jumped out of his seat as Tai walked into the room.

Before the boy could say anything, he looked around quickly, and pulled them into the first door he could find, which turned out to be a broom closet. Tai shuddered, remembering the last time that he was in a place like this one, but he was really more surprised at the appearance of his friend. The blond boy hadn't been around since that time that Tai had woken up and Toby had been there. It confused him for a while, but truthfully, he had been avoiding talking to Toby, because he knew that eventually he should tell him about this Eiri from his dreams.

Tobias smiled at him brightly, startlingly. He leaned back against the wall, somehow not knocking over the custodian's things.

"Hey."

"Hey." They looked at each other for a while.

"Sorry I haven't been by…" Toby blushed and looked down at the floor. "I've been really busy with school and stuff." It seemed to Tai to be a weak excuse, but he hadn't exactly been seeking out the other boy either.

"It's okay." An awkward silence, and then they both spoke at once, strangely saying the same thing.

"I have to tell you something!"

"Look out!" A menacing creaking noise that originated near Tai's ears got louder and louder, but he was too afraid to look behind him. Thankfully, a tug on his shirt pulled him out of the way.

CRASH!

He jumped backwards into Toby as an entire shelf fell over directly onto the area he had been standing seconds before. Paint cans, chemicals in bottles, and everything else on the shelf went flying everywhere, rolling to a stop near the boys' feet and the door. Now, Tai found himself in an awkward situation, pressed up against Toby in an effort to not fall down over onto the broken metal pieces of the shelf.

An arm snaked around his waist, and just as Tai was about to possibly turn around and face Toby, or maybe flinch away, he felt himself being lifted up into the air and…set down beside the blonde boy, at a safe distance.

Toby took another step back, just for good measures. It confused Tai; why was his friend acting like this? He hadn't had any problem being close…before. A blush rushed up to his cheeks.

"So, uh, what did you want to talk to me about?" The blonde boy started, and looked at his nervously. He opened his mouthly wordlessly, and then shut it again.

"I…forgot. Actually, I really have to get back…now…so…um, bye." And with that, he rushed from the room, leaving a very confused boy standing amoungst the mess, mouth open, and head tilted slightly to the side.

What the hell?

"Hey, Toby! Wait up!" Trying to race out of the closet, he tripped and fell, knocking the door shut somehow, and to his immense horror, he heard a malevolent clicking sound; the sound of a door locking from the outside…

"Oh no…"

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Annie and Eiri followed one of the triage nurses down the hallways, winding through what seemed like a maze of sick people, machines, assistants, and forgotten magazines. The sharp smell of disinfectant greatly irritated the author's nose, reminding him of one of the reasons that he hated hospitals so damn much.

He looked down at his feet, just in time to see a half open magazine lying right in the middle of the floor. Unfortunately, he wasn't in time to avoid it, and his foot went flying out from under him.

And he was on his ass again…funny how it always happened in front of Annie. Actually, speaking of whom, her and the nurse had vanished out of site. Eiri sighed. So nice for her to show concern; he was in a frigging hospital wasn't he? Wasn't it their job to help hurt people? He was hurt…well, mostly his pride, but…

Whatever, he knew that Annie was really worried about Chase, so he could forgive her this time. Besides, although he really didn't want to admit it, he wanted to know what the surprise of tomorrow was, and if he was in a snit about it, he wouldn't be able to go…

So, figuring that it would be all right if he just sat on the floor for a few more seconds, since there weren't any chairs nearby anyway, and there was no way he could ever find those girls in this…crazy place, Eiri pulled himself up to the point where he could lean against the wall.

What could the surprise be? Did it have something to do with Shuichi? What could it possibly be about him…? Eiri's head spun…he needed to think about something else…

"Help!" A frantic voice, seemingly right in his ear was shouting and banging and basically raising hell. Eiri jumped straight up to his feet, spinning around to find the source of the noise. For a spilt second, he had thought that it was his dead lover calling out to him, but then reality came crashing back to him. He realized that he had been leaning up against a door that had the words: "supply closet" written across it. And judging by the sounds, someone was locked in.

"Hello? Can anybody hear me? Hello?" Eiri smirked. So, at least for a moment, somebody's life was worse than his…it was almost worth smiling about. He thought about it for a second; did he really want to let this person out, or could he enjoy someone else's pain like he used to.

"Hello?" The writer tentatively called back.

X

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X

Tai froze on the other side of the door. Somebody had come to save him! He was going to be free.

"Um, can you let me out please?"

"Well," came the mystery voice, "I'll have to think about that…what are you willing to pay?" The boy froze…that voice! It was the voice from his dreams! Like his stranger!

"Hello?" said the voice again, "Are you still alive?" Tai let out a strangled scream and threw himself against the door. He was so positive that it was the man from his dreams, the "Eiri", never mind that the person was half way around the world away from their home, and they were speaking English, with that voice, it had to be him.

"Let me out!" He screamed frantically, scratching his nails on the solid wooden door. One of them caught, and his nail tore half off of his finger, causing him to scream in delirious pain. But he had more important issues at hand, like getting the guy to open the door so he could look him in the eye. This person may be a key to his past.

Meanwhile Eiri was staring at the door with a terrified expression on his face. What was going on in there? It sounded like someone was being killed, and now they wanted him to open the door and release whatever evil was in there? No fucking way…

"Sorry, I can't let you out." He started backing up down the hallway.

"Please!" The last syllable died off in a ragged sob, as the crazy person in the closet was probably realizing that he was gone. Eiri felt bad for just a second, but now he was even more suspicious of what the person might do to him if they got out. Just as he turned the corner, he heard one last scream of frustration, and a sound like a body thudding against a hard door.

"Eiri! Come back you bastard!"

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Tai wearily walked through the hallways to his room. The nurses hadn't heard him screaming for about an hour after he had "talked" to that man. He realized now that it couldn't have been who he thought it was, but why hadn't that bastard helped him anyways?

The lights in the hospital were too bright; they hurt his eyes after being in the dark for so long. Finally, he reached his room where he could turn off all the lights and collapse on his bed. Too late, he remembered that he hadn't gone to go visit the doctor, but he felt sure that when he explained, the man would understand.

The tired boy was practically asleep before he hit the pillow…but unfortunately, he wasn't to have peace this night.

_A gargling sound reached his ears as Toby leaned over the bed, sorrowful face streaming with tears._

"_You're were the only one, Tai, the only one!" Toby's grip tightened around his hand to the point of being painful. Shudders ran through the blond boy's body as Toby cried his heart out on the bedside. The sound was inhuman…. _

_He didn't say anything…what was there to say? He wasn't about to deny his actions._

_Toby raised his head, and he saw with the first twinge of alarm that the blonde boy was now crying dark streams of red blood from hollowed out eyes. The mangled mouth twitched distortedly, moaning._

"_How could you betray me? How? I thought you loved me! You took the vow! You took an oath! It meant something to me!"_

_The skin on Toby's hand started blistering his arm. Frantically, he tried to pull it away from the death grip, but he couldn't budge it an inch. _

_Flames burst out over Toby's heart, quickly consuming the rest of the crying boy's body, as well as his own. _

Tai woke up tangled in the damp sheets, feeling feverish. The dream confused him to no end, but with its scary implications, he decided that it was time to make a visit to the orphanage, and tell Toby about Eiri before things got out of hand.

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**Author's note:** this one I did a little hastily, and it took me a whole night, but since I was being distracted every other paragraph, it makes the story kind of go allllll over the place…

I wanted to say thank you amazingly much you wonderful people and reviewers, I'm very happy about the new system of reviewing! - but whatever, now I can see, so talk to y'all soon!


	17. Letting Go

**Author's Note: **Ah! I'm so stupid! I completely forgot to tell everybody something! The whole idea from the last chapter, about Eiri talking about Shuichi to Annie, and breaking down and crying, that all came from a wonderful reviewer, Quack says the duck, and I'm so sorry, I totally forgot to add my thanks into the last chapter, but it was all her! I was stuck in the story, but her review helped me…so THANK YOU SO MUCH!

**Disclaimer: **yeah, so basically I always forget to add this, so here it is! I don't own any characters except Annie, Dr. James, Toby, and everyone else who lives/works at the orphanage (which is also mine)!

**Chapter Seventeen**

**x**

**x**

Dr. James peeked into the door of the children's room. Unfortunately, the object of his mission was not there. It seemed to him that he was always looking for that one troublesome patient. Sighing, he beckoned to a little girl sitting near the door, doing a puzzle.

"Hello. Do you know where Tai is?" She looked up at him with confusion.

"You know…" he prompted, "That nice boy who always comes in here to play with you guys?" Her eyes lit up.

"Oh, yah!" The doctor grinned, happy to have gotten his point across. He waited for her to answer him question, but apparently she had forgotten.

"Uh, have you seen him at all today?"

"Oh! He was in here…um…before. But he left earlier than usual…" A pout crossed her small face. "He said that he had to go talk about grown up stuff with his friend. He said that he was going back to his house…and he said…not to tell you if you asked." A look on concentration made its way onto her face, and a light seemed to go on in her eyes.

"Oops…" she sighed sadly, "That always seems to happen…they always get mad at me too. You don't think that he'll be mad for telling his secret, do you?"

Dr. James reassured the girl that Tai would not in fact be mad, and then he went back to his office. Why would Tai have gone back to the orphanage? They had agreed that the boy would be staying there for one more week, if only for the sake of caution. The man was sure that it must have had something to do with Tai being called down for a visitor yesterday. He hadn't actually come and told the doctor who it was, but Dr. James just knew that it was that boy who had been brought in with Tai's unconscious body, sobbing uncontrollably. There was something about that boy...after all, Tai hadn't had any other visitors, besides Ms. Hift a few times, to figure out the details of Tai's stay at the hospital.

Sitting back in his chair, feet propped up on the desk, the doctor mused the complex mind of Tai.

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Meanwhile, Tai was wandering through the hallways of the orphanage. Almost sadly, he watched the familiar walls go by. Strangely, there was no one in the hallway. In fact, now that he thought about it, he didn't remember seeing anybody when he came in either. Weird…

Slowly, with increasingly wariness, Tai climbed the stairs. Should he really be here? It had just been a dream last night, with Toby, but why had he freaked out so much? Tai realized that his palms were soaking, and he rubbed them viciously on his jeans.

Soon he'd be at the room. Tai stopped in the middle of the hallway, contemplating the meaning of this. Soon he'd be at the room…standing outside awkwardly…with no real explanation as to why he was there. Would he be able to tell Tobias why he was there? No, he'd probably stutter about like an idiot, and end up making a fool of himself. Tai could just see it now.

"_Yeah, Toby? I had a dream that you rotted to pieces in front of my eyes, so I came to tell you that I might have a boyfriend. Maybe."_

God, it even sounded ridiculous in his head.

And yet, five minutes later, he was standing outside the room, fumbling around for the key that was hidden somewhere deep down in his pocket. Where the hell was it? As he dug into his jacket, it occurred to him that some strange sounds were coming from the room. It sounded like…a struggle.

Visions of Dan and Greg mauling Toby flew through his mind. His hand connected with the cold metal of the key, and with almost inhuman speed, he put it into the hole, and flung open the door. Running in, he collided with…a girl. A beautiful, tiny, blonde girl, who was currently pulling a shirt over her head.

It took Tai a while to understand. More than usual, in fact, but when it happened, the shock was overwhelming. But only until the betrayal hit.

Tai felt his heart breaking as he slowly backed up towards the door. The girl was looking at him with a confused expression, but he ignored her. All he could see was Toby advancing towards him with his arms out.

"It's not what it looks like!"

"_Shuichi! It's not what you think!" Yuki put out his arm to calm him. The girl lit up a cigarette in the background_

Toby reached out a hand to touch his arm. "Don't take it the wrong way! We're just friends!"

"_I swear, it's nothing! Yuki lightly grabbed his hand. "I wouldn't do anything—_

"—like that! I'd never betray you, I love you!" The unknown girl, who had been, up until this time watching the exchange quietly stood up.

"You fucking liar! You told me that not two minutes ago! Bastard!" she stalked out of the room. Tai felt all doubts melt away, and he started to break down.

"No, no, I can't handle this again…no...no...no…please go away…no…Yuki! How could you do this to me!" Toby pulled at his arms, trying to make him stand up.

"Tai, stop it! What…who are you talking to?"

"_It's my new editor Shuichi! Mizuki was transferred to a new author. That's all. We were just having a meeting."_

_He spat in disgust at Yuki. "In your apartment? You bastard! You're cheating on me!" A terrible though occurred to him. "How long?" he screamed, "How long have you been seeing her…or anybody else? That's it, isn't it? Anybody but me! You can't stand the sight of me! Why Yuki, why?"_

"Tai! I can't understand you! What're you trying to say?"

_"Yuki! I loved you!"_

"Tai! What the hell? What's wrong?"

"_What did I ever do but love you? How could you betray me like this, after everything I gave you? How? Do I mean nothing to you? Is that it, I'm just some form of entertainment? Or do you hate me?"_

Toby opened his arms and tried to embrace Tai, having given up on making the boy stand up; obviously he was in rough shape. But a fist connecting with his jaw made him change his mind. When Toby opened his eyes again, Tai was standing unsteadily on his feet, using the wall for support, with fire in his eyes. And it scared Toby. So much that he couldn't move, paralyzed under the waves of hate sent at him.

"How could you hurt me like that Yuki?" The mournful tone of Tai's voice was heartbreaking, and Toby knew that he was near crying.

"I…I didn't mean to! I don't…I don't…" he didn't get to finish his sentence though, because Tai lurched over, and leaned down to the level of his face.

"_You could have just told me you bastard! I didn't have to find out like this!"_

"_Shuichi! Calm the fuck down! You don't understand, she's—"_

"_I don't want to hear your excuses, you asshole! I'm leaving!"_

Toby saw a dusty look in the boy's eyes; it seemed that Tai was having another flashback.

"_Wait!" Yuki grabbed his arm, none to lightly. "Just a second Shu, you need to relax.""_

"_Let GO of me!" With a strength he didn't know he had, he ripped his arm out of Yuki's grasp and speed out the door, tears streaming down his face angrily._

There was no warning for Toby before the distressed boy fainted completely.

_Now he was running again_

_Running towards someone._

_Now in an apartment, a rooftop, a studio, he was so happy, he was in love he was—_

_In a street, a parking garage, bad, scary bad feelings, embarrassment, humiliation, pain, loyalty, love again…_

_On a stage now, in front of hundreds of people, fear, anxiety, pure, and total happiness, love, love so many times…_

_He loved him so much always and forever_

_He was afraid, someone was chasing him, someone who was really, really angry, but then—_

_Driving down the highway, on the back of a motorcycle, red hair whipping in his face, but he was happy…_

_Bouncing around the studio, singing passionately, arguing with everyone…_

_The first time he had heard his song on the radio…the absolute joy that came with the feeling, which could never be recaptured, but would suffice forever. Almost a lifetime of happiness… _

_The first time he had heard a group of girls talking about him, unaware that he was in disguise merely metres away…_

_The first time he had heard the screaming love expressed by his fans, and seen them throwing themselves onto stage, going crazy for just the slightest thing…_

_The first time he had looked into Yuki's fathomless hazel eyes, and seen love._

_Running through the airport, a plane, screaming, crying, heat, aching, terrible pain, nausea, sorrow, fear –_

He woke up screaming. The only sound was his heart, pounding in his head, blocking out everything else. The feeling was somewhat familiar …

As he lay in bed, thinking, he realized that a great weight seemed to have been lifted from his mind. He could think clearly now, there were no more barriers. There were no…more…barriers…

A concerned face leaned over his own. It was the doctor, worried about him again. He smiled softly; it was nice to know that someone cared so much. On his other side, the boy, Toby sat, looking away stiffly, and trying to hide his tears, to no avail. But he let Toby know that it was okay by touching his hand. He forgave the blond boy for his betrayal...but only because he knew that it wouldn't affect him much longer..

"Tai!" Toby hugged him happily to his chest. "I'm so, so sorry, I don't know what came over me, and—"

He shushed him with a hand waved through the air.

"No." he shook his head softly, sadly.

"Tai?"

"No…Shuichi."

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"Where are you taking me?" Eiri stumbled, not for the first time, across the rocky old parking lot by the water. Although he had agreed to do this last night, he was now greatly regretting the decision. Greatly. The heavy urn that Annie had insisted he bring weighed down his arm, not to mention his thoughts.

"You'll see…" Was the only cryptic answer he could get from Annie who, not surprisingly, was navigating the parking lot with the natural grace that the author suspected she was born with. On that thought…had he ever seen her fall or trip even once…?

They were now on a cracking asphalt path, walking along a water body that Eiri couldn't recognize as one he'd ever seen before in his life.

"So, just for the record…are we still in New York?"

Annie just looked at him over her shoulder, smiled, and suddenly raced ahead.

"That doesn't exactly answer my question." Eiri yelled to her, struggling to keep up, while maintaining a safe grip on the urn, which was bouncing dangerously around in his arms. The smooth surface of the urn wasn't really helping his hold on; he could feel it starting to slip from his fingers.

"Slow down!" All he heard in response was a giggle. Obviously Annie didn't appreciate the seriousness of the situation, so he repeated himself, but this time louder. It might have been the tone of his voice, which was bordering on rage fit, or maybe she just decided that it wasn't funny anymore, but Annie stopped and turned to face the author just as the urn slipped from his grasp and fell to the ground.

In that split second, Eiri felt his heart stop. It seemed to be in slow motion that he dove down onto his stomach, outstretched his hands, and…caught the urn safely. Well, the urn was safe…his fingers were another story…

Annie's eyes were as wide as saucers when Eiri glared up at her. Then, she started giggling again.

"Wow, that was very…um…dramatic. I think you even shouted 'No!' right when you dropped it…"

"It's nice to see that you have such a great respect for the dead…"

"Come on, hurry up, we're almost there." Eiri could feel his temper starting to flare at her aloof attitude of the whole occasion. How could she be so crazy when he was holding the remains of his dead boyfriend in his own arms? Was there something funny about that to her? These Americans were insane…And where were they going anyways?

"Almost where?"

"There!"

The author followed her pointed finger to a beautiful, rocky peninsula, that was continued by a man-made platform after the land stopped. There was even a wooden bench to sit and watch, presumably, the sun set over the water. It would probably be an amazing sight at this time of the year. But Eiri wasn't really concerned about that. He was concerned about finding out why the hell he had been in a car forever, only to end up by the ocean, in god-knows-what state...even country for that matter…

"Why—" But Annie was already running towards it excitedly. By the time he reached her, she was leaning against the railing, staring dreamily out at the water with her head resting in her hands. A smile played across her face happily.

"Isn't it just beautiful…?" She sighed contently, turning around to face Eiri.

"Sure, but why are we here?" Instead of answering, Annie sighed again, and sat down on the bench, patting the seat beside her.

"When I was little, my parents used to always take me to this spot, to watch the sun go down, and we'd all sit right here, the very place that we're sitting now, and we wouldn't say a word. I think it was probably my favourite time of the whole year.

"But then, one time when we were walking down the path, on our way here as usual, a man came running up and pointed a gun at us, demanding my dad to hand over his wallet. My dad tried to wrestle the gun away, but it went off, and hit my mom, and when my dad tried to help her, the man shot him too. Then he ran off.

"For so long, I couldn't come back to this spot. I couldn't even think about it. I went into deep depression, and wouldn't leave the house, and completely withdrew into myself. It was terrible, but I just couldn't stop thinking about my parents, and how they had died such an ugly death, in such a beautiful place.

"My aunt, who I was living with, bundled me up one day, and drove me out here in her car, not telling me where we were going. When we got here, she let me out, and said that she wasn't letting me back into the car until I moved on.

"I cried, and screamed, and pounded the windows, but she wouldn't let me in, so there was nothing else to do. I started walking down the path, and it was all right, until I got to the spot where they had died, and started remembering the whole thing. And it was like I was there again, watching the whole thing, but…then…I looked up, and saw the sunset, and it was so beautiful that, I started remembering all the years before that we had come and had the best times, and I felt so much better.

"My aunt told me that I had stayed out all night, when I got back to the car, but all I remember is a perfect sense of peace that didn't leave me, even after I left.

Eiri, who during her story had been listening without comprehension, started to understand why he had been brought there. Jumping up, while still protecting the urn, he started shaking his head.

"I see what you're doing. It's not going to work. I mean, he didn't even die here!"

"It doesn't matter. You have to move on; besides, you said that we could do this."

"I didn't know that you meant this kind of this!" The author started pacing frantically in the small space available.

"It's okay Eiri. Just let him go, you'll feel so much better about everything. You can do this."

"Well I don't want to!"

"You have to!" For the first time, Annie raised her voice at him, and it had its desired effect. Eiri stopped pacing, and looked at her. Now he was listening.

She tentatively took his hand, and when he didn't pull back, pulled open his fingers with her hand. Taking the lid off of the urn, she dipped his hand in, and softly closed his fingers around a handful of ashes. Shock registered on his face at touching the soft, dusty material. When Annie knew that he understood her meaning, she slowly took her hand off.

For a moment, he held the ashes in his open hand, looking intently at the beautifully coloured dust. Terrible pain tore at his chest, ripping his into pieces. A part of him wanted to forget, to forget everything and never hurt again. But a part of him wanted to go on mourning.

Delaying, he glanced over at Annie. Her eyes prompted him on…Eiri walked over to the edge of the railing, and held his hand out over the edge. But he could bring himself to drop it.

"I…" Annie leaned in eagerly to hear his words, "Do I really need to do this? Haven't I already let him go enough?

"Have you really? Think about it Eiri; do you think that's true? Have you really fully let him go?"

Eiri thought about it. Sure, it was true that he didn't think about Shuichi and get so depressed as much anymore, but, he had to admit, there were still times when he would imagine that Shuichi was going to walk in the door of his apartment, alive and well, saying that it had all been a misunderstanding, or he would waking up and for a second think that it might have been a dream, and any minute he was going to smell something burning in the kitchen.

It seemed that Annie was right after all. He really had been holding on to something that would never happen.

With a last loving look, he clenched his hand into a fist, and flung the ashes out into the water, the sunset reflecting deeply in his eyes. As he watched the dust fly gracefully out into the water, he knew that he had finally accepted his loss, and could begin moving on.

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**Author's note:** Wow, how ironic...

And if I was mean, I would end the story here, which I'm sad to say I almost considered for a second….but don't worry, it continues…

btw, Annie's long speech, which may possibly been the most she's ever spoken in the story, and its so frigging random. Beh…just thought I'd mention it...


	18. Remembering

**Chapter Eighteen**

Shuichi stared out the window of the hospital room, tracing the patterns of the raindrops that dripped down in front of his face. It had been only hours since he had woken up, with an enormous headache, and nineteen years of memories stuffed into his brain. He was deep in thought, considering the vast mess that he was in, and how exactly it had happened.

What exactly had transpired for him to end up where he had been, living somebody else's life, was beyond him. Shuichi supposed that he would probably never know exactly what happened, except that somebody with low intelligence may have made the biggest mistake of their life.

He was sick, physically and mentally, stranded in a country halfway across the world from home, and his boyfriend thought that he was dead. Had thought so for such a long time, that he might already have a new boyfriend…or girlfriend. Who knew with Yuki?

But then again…Shuichi knew that for all Yuki's harsh words, the man did love him; and it worried him the effect that his "death" might have on the writer, whose fragile psyche had been trouble since the Kitazawa incident. Would he have gone into depression? Or maybe he would have blocked it out altogether, used it in one of his novels for a catchy theme? The only thing Shuichi did know was that somehow he had to find Yuki as soon as possible, and set the record straight. Unfortunately, he had no way to contact the man at the moment, as a phone call didn't seem appropriate.

It occurred to him that he could phone someone in Japan, not Eiri, but someone who knew where he was, so Shuichi could find him and talk to him face to face. It seemed more appropriate than a phone call.

And so, about thirty minutes later, after half explaining to Dr. James what he wanted to do, and promising the disgruntled man that he would hear the entire story, as the doctor still was in the dark about his newfound identity, Shuichi was nervously listening to the phone ringing.

"Mizuki here."

"Hi, um, I was wondering if you could tell me where Eiri Yuki is right now." There was a long pause.

"How did you get this number?"

"Um, Eiri gave it to me…"

"Nice try, Eiri only gives this number to people really close to him. And if you were close to him, you'd know that he's in New Y—" There was a muffled thump, followed by a long string of curses that made Shuichi hold the phone away from his ears.

"Um, well, you didn't hear anything from me. Goodbye."

"Wait!"

"…what?"

"Where in New York?" Shuichi heard the editor sigh impatiently.

"Okay, seriously, who is this? I don't have time to deal with this right now." Shuichi debated telling her, but realizing that there was no way she would believe him, he decided to lie.

"It's his boyfriend." Okay, maybe it wasn't a full lie…but Shuichi hated lying, so it was that much better.

"Liar. If Eiri had a boyfriend, I would know about it. Besides, he hasn't been seeing anyone since…Shuichi." Said boy felt his throat clench up with emotion.

"Are you…is this true?"

"What? You won't even tell me who you are, and you're accusing me of lying? I'm leaving. Goodbye, whoever you are, and I hope that Eiri gets home before meeting a deranged being like yourself." Click.

Well, that was a lot more informative than Mizuki had most likely realized. Plus, Shuichi could now re-examine the incident at the hospital, in which he had been locked in a closet, and bastard who sounded suspiciously like Eiri had completely not rescued him. It just had to be Eiri. Despite the fact that the chances were more than one in a million, it had to be him. Shuichi would recognize that voice…and attitude, anywhere.

Putting the phone down in the receiver, Shuichi felt momentary guilt and the ridiculous amount of money that he had probably sent phoning Japan, but put it from his mind. He needed to pay the doctor another visit, and maybe after all the favours he could pay the nice man back.

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It actually took longer than he expected, convincing the doctor to go downstairs, and, in a long, hard process, finally find some connection to Eiri. The ever suffering Dr. James, after describing Eiri's appearance to about every nurse that had been on the night shift, he finally found one lady who remembered him, and who he was with. It was only luck that the patient he was visiting was still in the hospital, but that was where the fortune ended. The lady informed them that although this "Eiri" had been visiting, the contact information for the patient, should there be any change in progress, was listed under a girl's name.

Shuichi didn't lose hope. Finally, after a long, complicated lie about being related to the patient in the hospital (who thankfully was asleep) and being backed up by a reluctant head doctor, the boy got the address of the girl's apartment. The only course of action was to pay this contact girl a visit, ask her a little about Eiri (if it even was him) and hopefully find out his boyfriend's address too. He didn't know how much longer he could wait before seeing his Yuki again!

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Shuichi stood in the staircase, outside the door to Annie's floor, peering through the tiny window down the hallway, excitement mounting inside. His chest rose and fell rapidly as he realized the enormity of the situation: Eiri thought that he was dead, but for some reason was still in New York, and soon, he was going to get the surprise of his lifetime…

As he grew more and more anxious, Shuichi began to wonder what Eiri's reaction was going to be. The whole situation was just so…unreal; it was like something you might read about in one of Eiri's romance novels.

The expression on the writer's face was going to be…priceless. First, Shuichi imagined confusion, then disbelief, confusion again, acceptance, and finally even love. The very thing that he'd been craving for so long, that had always been there, just constantly out of his reach. But now…now he was finally going to be able to soak it in. He hoped that Eiri would run over as fast as possible, lean down and gently stroke Shuichi's cheek, and tell him, with tears in his eyes, just how much the boy meant to him, and then—

The sounds of a quiet conversation broke their way into his imaginings. Shuichi looked up to see the man that had been haunting his waking and sleeping mind walking down the hallway beside another girl.

Eiri still hadn't seen him; he was too busy listening to something the girl was saying, a faint smile playing on his lips. It seemed like an eternity, during which time Shuichi's heart had frozen, until the girl stopped and began opening what appeared to be her apartment. Then, the two parted with no more than a friendly wave.

Shuichi relaxed happily against the wall, and then slowly opened the door to go meet Eiri. All that mattered to him was that any second, Eiri would raise his head, and see him standing there, waiting for him and—

"Excuse me, can I help you?" Shuichi halted his daydream, only to find a pair of familiar hazel eyes staring down at him coolly. There was no trace of passion, love, or even recognition in them.

"Ei..Eiri?"

"Yes, what do you want?"

"It's me!" Shuichi bit his lip and looked down, holding back tears. This wasn't how it was supposed to go! "Don't you know who I am?"

Eiri shook his head impatiently. "No, I have no idea who you are. Why don't you tell me so I can get on with my life?"

"Don't you even recognize your own boyfriend? It's me, Shuichi!"

He watched the writer's face go from confusion, to realization, to…disgust? He barely had time to register this last emotion before Eiri roughly grabbed his arms and pushed him against the door.

"I don't know what kind of sick game you're playing kid…" Eiri leaned in for effect, harshly whispering in the boy's ear, "But don't ever fuck around with my Shuichi's name again, or I'll fucking kill you." With that, he flung the boy aside, and stalked into his room, slamming the door violently behind him.

Sprawled out on the floor, Shuichi stared at the shut down, mouth open in complete shock. As what had just happened registered, the boy burst into helpless tears. Why? Why had Eiri rejected him like that? The man had reacted completely oppositely than he was supposed to, but why? It didn't make any sense to the boy, and he took his frustration out on the walls, kicking and punching them from his position on the floor, tears streaming down his face.

"Um, excuse me, what're you doing? What did you say to Eiri?" Shuichi looked up to see the girl that Eiri had been talking to looking curiously down at him. Coming to his own conclusion, he wiped an arm across his face roughly and cleared his throat.

"Are you Annie?" The surprise was evident on her face, but she still nodded.

"Who are you?" Shuichi laughed bitterly, which only brought on a new round of tears. "I'd tell you, but you probably wouldn't believe me."

"Try me." Annie knelt down on the floor beside him, looking expectantly over to hear his story. It couldn't, she reasoned, be any stranger or more depressing than Eiri's.

"You know Eiri." He stated in simply, so she found no reason to answer. It sounded like the boy already knew what he was talking about.

"How well do you know him?"

Annie shrugged. "Well, I dunno. I've known him since…well, since around when he first moved in to the apartment, and he fixed the pipes in my kitchen."

"He…he what?" That sort of kindness didn't sound like his Eiri.

"Yeah, he saved my whole apartment from flooding…I guess we sorta became friends after that."

"Friends?" Shuichi mentally punished himself for sounding like such a parrot. God, couldn't he come up with anything original to say? There was one thing that he wanted to ask badly, but he was afraid of the answer. It would kill him if it was true…but he still had to know.

"Are you…you know…um…together?"

"God no!" Relaxing in relief, Shuichi allowed a big grin in her direction, but all he managed was a cryptic reply.

"That's nice."

"Right, well now, can I ask you who you are and how you know my name?" Shuichi winced. Unfortunately, with all his plotting, he hadn't come up with a safe answer to this question. Although he didn't want to tell her what he had done, it was even more important to him that he didn't lie to her. Especially if she was Eiri's friend.

"Well," he began, "It all started when I accidentally got locked in a supply closet…" the boy proceeded to tell Annie his slightly edited tale of hearing Eiri's voice, realizing it was him, asking the nurses after him, finding about the girl he'd been with, who was visiting a patient, and (here, Shuichi blushed and stammered his way through the story) how he'd lied to the nurse to get her name and address.

"I see," came Annie's cool answer. "And why exactly did you feel the urge to go through all that trouble, while in the process breaking a few laws, just to find Eiri? Don't think I didn't notice that you never answered my question. Who are you? How do you know Eiri?"

Instead of answering directly, "I guess you know about the accident, right? The plane crash?" Annie nodded her head.

"So you know about Shuichi…the boy who died in the plane crash? Eiri's brave, cute wonderful lover?" The look on Annie's face amused Shuichi greatly, and he continued with his tirade.

"The one that Yuki always took for granted, and yelled at, and made fun of? And—"

"And loved." Annie spoke now, interrupting the boy's rant with a disgruntled look on her face. "Don't forget that."

Shuichi felt the power of her words, and could tell that she believed them fiercely. The fight went out of his body, and he went limp against the wall. Smiling a twisted grin at her, he ran a hand slowly through his hair, taking a deep breath.

"Well…I'm him."

Annie felt her heart stop. This boy, standing in front of her, was bold enough to claim being Eiri's dead lover…her temper flared up quickly, but died down as she reasoned with herself. He had warned her, that she wouldn't believe him…and the boy did look so much like the picture she had seen of Shuichi that it was uncannily frightening. But the impossible was impossible, as she liked to say, so Annie wordlessly got to her feet, and started walking back to her room.

At the door, she paused to look back at the boy, who was still lying against the wall, now with the most wretched, pathetic look on his face.

"It's a convincing story kid…and you do look a lot like him…but give it up. You're only hurting Eiri, and he doesn't deserve this. Please, go home."

Shuichi watched, resigned as she let herself into the room, much more quietly than Yuki, but no less finally.

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Eiri moved away from the peephole, having listened to the entire conversation between Annie and that boy. The sounds of soft crying filtered through the door, and the writer knew that the boy was still right outside his door, with that mournful look on his face.

The author slumped against the door. Had the boy really thought that he would believe him? For god's sake…what would possess someone…? The worst thing was, for a second, Eiri had actually almost believed him. That sincere look on the boy's face was so familiar to him that it had practically done him in; now he was so shaken up that he couldn't stand.

Who was this boy who looked so much like his dead boyfriend? What was he trying to get? The thing that bothered Eiri the most was the fact that this boy had tracked him all the way down to this apartment, and knew intimate details of his life (meaning about Shuichi).

Shaking his head as if to clear the treacherous thoughts from his head, Eiri climbed to his feet and wandered over to the window. From there, he could only see a sliver of the sky, but still, it was comforting. He stretched his head to the side to see more.

It had been a wet day, in the car on the way home, but the writer hadn't fully appreciated it then. What was it about that girl…? The writer fell down on the couch and thought about the ride home.

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_Flashback_

_Eiri sat in the car, staring out at the droplets running down the glass, remembering how Shuichi used to sit at a window all day and watch the patterns; it was the only time that he wasn't so hyper. But at this memory, Eiri was proud to say that he didn't obsess over it as usual, instead, he smiled, and moved on with his thoughts._

_Although she was driving (quite precariously, actually) Annie kept sneaking covert glances over at Eiri, to see how he was taking this. Not exactly the dullest knife in the drawer, he caught these looks, and was purposely ignoring her. Serves her right too, dragging him all the way out here…but then again, Eiri knew that it had been a momentous day in his recovery. Whatever…it was her turn to squirm._

_He praised the genius god that had given her the solution to his problems. This feeling that he was having now…content, peacefulness, was something that he hadn't really experienced since the accident, and it was readily accepted back by him._

_Annie began to chatter on and on, over the sound of the radio announcer's annoying English voice, talking about absolutely nothing. Normally, it would have irritated the hell out of him; being a man of few words, he didn't see the point in talking unless it was for a reason. Something that Shuichi and him had never really seen eye to eye on. But today, he was feeling lenient, and merely tuned out both external sounds._

_It was time to phone Tohma. He couldn't spend any longer away from Japan; now that his excuse was bust, Eiri knew that his life was waiting for him at home._

_Unfortunately, so was a long, awkward conversation with his father and sister. Maybe, if he brought Tatsuha, they could get through the whole thing together…after all, the whole scared-the-crap-outta-Tohma-with-a-pretend-suicide-and-accidently-dug-myself-into-a-deep-dark-grave-thing was partially his younger brother's fault too._

"_Do you mind if I make a call?" Annie shook her head, so Eiri pulled out his cell phone and phoned Tohma's cell phone number. When the man answered the phone, Eiri felt a small prick of fear at telling him everything, but once he got into the story of what Annie had done (the slightly edited version) he found it was easier to talk. Finishing off, he informed his brother-in-law that he would be coming home soon._

_Needless to say, Tohma was thrilled. He started going on and on about all the people who missed him and wanted to see him again, but seeing as Eiri really wasn't in the mood to listen he hung up and turned off his cell phone. The man knew he'd be paying later, but he didn't care. As long as he didn't have to listen to Tohma's crap now._

_Sighing, he looked back out the window. As soon as he got home, he would start packing up his things._

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Sighing heavily once again at the memory of his decision, Eiri looked around the room. That encounter with the boy hadn't exactly put him in the packing mood. Instead, he got up and started rifling through his stuff. There was a big empty spot on the mantle, where the urn had used to sit. For some reason beyond him, Annie had insisted that it was buried near a tree. Having not exactly been in the arguing mood, Eiri had agreed.

Beside the space, the picture of Shuichi grinned up at him. On a whim, he picked it up and carried it over to the door, fully intending to compare that boy outside to the boy in the picture. But he was already gone.

Eiri shrugged his shoulders. It was for the best anyways.

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**Author's Note:** oh no! It's starting to seem like they'll never find each other! Especially after Eiri's reaction…I WAS going to have Eiri recognize him, and live happily ever after…but that wouldn't be very realistic now would it? Haha, just teasing…I've had this idea for a while…now the story can finally earn it's genre of ANGST! Muaha! Read and review!


	19. A Welcome Discovery

**Author's note:** Well, here we are at chapter 19. Already, it's about six more chapters than it was supposed to be, and still going strong…beh…I'm getting a little tired of this…I think I'll try to end it at twenty, and then maybe an epilogue.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own it, 'cept my characters…

**Extra Rambling:** So I was on this website, looking up Yuki's age, and then I got all into reading the character stuff and everything, and then I saw the people who did the voices, and all the other anime they did too, and I was like holy crap! Because it's crazy, I didn't know that Shuichi's voice guy did so many other voices that I knew…and Hiro, and EVERYONE…it was crazy…hmm…maybe I'm just crazy…or a terrible fan...well, I"m going off to the corner to sulk..enjoy!

**Chapter Nineteen**

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Toby restlessly prowled the hallways, contemplating Tai's reaction to his betrayal. Apparently, he had been forgiven, but…only for some reason that Toby didn't understand. Something about Tai's name being…Sheechy? It didn't make sense. None of it did, and the boy suspected that it was all a ploy so that Tai wouldn't have to think about what had happened. After all, Tai hadn't even "thought" his name was…whatever…until he'd seen Toby with that girl.

Again, Toby cursed his stupidity. He never should have told her to come over, especially after leaving the hospital that day without an explanation, when he had been about to tell Tai everything. But then, Tai had fallen over onto him, and he didn't want to hurt the small boy that he had been clutching in his hands. Although, he may have inadvertently done more damage now. Hmm…

Forming an idea, he switched directions and began padding towards Ms. Hift's office. Maybe they could have a chat about Tai's state of mind at the moment.

The blond boy chose to take the stairs; the elevator was off-limits for him, according to some stupid rule, and he didn't feel like having a big argument right now. All he wanted was to have a decent conversation with a human being, something that he'd been missing ever since Tai had gone to the hospital, and if Ms. Hift was the only person who could provide that, then so-be-it. He could stand the endless comments about not socializing with the other boys (as if they'd let him) and not fighting (as if they'd let him) if he could only prevent his brain from melting.

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Shuichi sped through the streets, blinded by his tears. It was just too much. He couldn't handle the stress anymore. The whole world was against him, and it hurt. It hurt too goddamn much, and he just wanted it to stop. Why had Yuki said that? Why hadn't he believed him?

But running felt good…well, good in the way of not feeling any pain at all, except the physical pain in his legs. It distracted him nicely, he decided, and kept going until he reached the point where he was unable to breathe, collapsing in a heap on the side walk.

From his awkward position, the boy knew that he had to somehow tell everyone who he was. As soon as he could get people on his side, he could go back to Eiri and try to talk to him again. After all, who wouldn't be shocked after seeing their lover back? Maybe it was just some temporary thing…

Getting up, slowly this time, Shuichi set off in the direction of the subway, still breathing heavily. What could he do to convince them that it was him? Maybe if he found pictures in the newspaper, or got a hold of a cd and sang along to it? No, that probably wouldn't work. He needed something bigger…like video footage or something similar.

Coming to this conclusion, Shuichi made a quick detour in a cheap video store. He knew that some time there had been a video thing released, but he didn't know if it had come out in America. But he hoped so…

"Uh, excuse me?" He desperately tried to get the attention of a scummy looking clerk who was apparently in charge of the cash register, briefly, wondering who would possibly choose employees who looked liked they might grab the money and run away…

The man turned a bleary gaze over to him, and the boy saw, to his disappointment, that his eyes were completely rimmed with red. Just what he needed right now…a stoned hobo man. He decided to try anyways.

"Um, this may be a shot in the dark, but do you have any Japanese music videos here?"

"Hmmmmmm?" Shuichi almost cried, but he really needed this, so he kept going.

"Please, Japanese music videos. You know, they come in special edition packages? Imported from Japan? Do you have any idea in hell what I'm talking about?"

"Hmmmmmm?"

"Hmmmmmm? How do you like that hmmmmmm? Can you please help me?"

The man smiled a gap-toothed grin, way too high to be offended. "Well, since you said the magic word…" Shuichi had to grip the magazine rack to restrain from climbing over the counter and throttling the man.

"Let me just check our database," he said, in a completely clear and normal voice, "okay, we have a select few artists here…who are you looking for?"

Taking a very deep breath to maintain patience, Shuichi plastered a grin on his face.

"Bad Luck or Nittle Grasper."

"Um…no, sorry, we don't have either…wait, but we do have…Gackt."

"Uh, no, that's no good…thanks for looking…" The extremely frustrated boy ran out of the shop, unfortunately colliding with a man, who was, unfortunately carrying a large bundle of flyers…that, unfortunately, flew everywhere. Unfortunatley for Shuichi, having a very strong conscience, he had to help the man. Fortunately, having a conscience was pretty useful today.

Staring up at him from about two hundred flyers was the cool half smile of his lover that was so familiar. A feeling of numbness washed over Shuichi as he saw a picture of what was advertised as "The Great Eiri Yuki's Newest Novel". It was one that he'd never seen before, but more importantly, there was a picture of Shuichi's face on it. Sure, it was airbrushed a little, to make the hair longer, and give him make up, but it was there. His mouth dropped open.

"Wha…what? Who is that?" The man who he'd collided with, still collecting up the other papers, answered him without looking up.

"It's supposed to be the main heroine of the story. In the back of the book, it claims that it's a picture of Eiri Yuki's old boyfriend, who died, but I don't believe that. I think it's a girlfriend who wanted to be on a book. Sneaky bastard…"

"That's…not a picture of a girl. That is most definitely a guy."

"Uh, no, sorry. I think I, the greatest fan of Eiri Yuki ever, would know who was on his…" The man's obnoxious sentence trailed off as he looked up to see the identical indignant face that was on the cover of the book.

"I think," Shuichi started slowly, "Being his lover, and more importantly, that being my face, I would know if I was a guy or girl." Looking up, expecting to see a chastised face, he instead saw the man staring at him in wonder.

"Y…you're Shuichi Shindou?" Said boy threw his hands in the air.

"Well at least somebody believes me…too bad it's a random person I don't even know…"

"But, you're dead."

"Oh, right, sorry, forgive me, I'm in the wrong. Obviously you are right in this situation. I'll just be going."

"No, wait! I'm sorry, I just…well, it's such a shock, like seeing a ghost or something…are you a ghost?" The man reached out a hand and tried to poke Shuichi in the side, but it was deflected with a slap.

"Get away from me you nutter!"

"Wait! Wait!" Shuichi stopped, wondering why he was listening to the man.

"Can I have your autograph? I still can't believe I didn't recognize that picture as yours…wow…" The man pulled out a copy of the book that was, strangely, sealed tightly in a plastic bag. "Will you sign this for me?"

The boy grabbed the book excitedly. This was it! This was the proof that he needed to show everybody. If there really was something in the back of the book that said who he was…skimming through excitedly, Shuichi felt his heart rate increase. Finally, his clumsy fingers flipped to the back, where, true to the crazy man's word, there was another picture of him, the real thing this time, and a description of who he was. It was a candid shot, a nice one in Shuichi's opinion, taken in a brief instant when he had been holding Eiri's hand while they walked down the street; Eiri was even half-smiling!

Without asking permission, Shuichi sped out the door, off in the direction of the hospital. As he ran, he pulled out a cell phone; there was someone he needed to talk to.

_Flashback_

_Shuichi walked through the familiar room, picking up random items of clothing the belonged to him. A flash of silver caught his eye; digging deep into a pile of clothes that may or may not have been dirty, he unearthed Toby's cell phone, which was now vibrating in his hands._

_Curiously, he opened it to see who was calling, but he didn't recognize the name or number. Eventually it stopped moving._

_It occurred to Shuichi that maybe that girl's phone number would be programmed into the phone, and he could find out her name or something._

_Opening the address book, and expecting to see one or two names (after all, Toby never seemed to call anyone, in fact, he barely ever used the phone, at least when Shuichi was around) he was incredibly shocked to see an enormous list of names, or girls that he didn't know._

_Just as he began to scroll down, the sound of the door opening brought him back to reality, and he automatically shoved the phone into his pocket._

"_Wha…oh! Tai! How come…" The blond boy's voice faltered as he saw all the stuff in Shuichi's hands._

_Refusing to look at him, instead opting to stare around the room and at the ground, the small boy stood there awkwardly, caught. He had come specifically know, because he hadn't wanted to be here when Toby was here. The blond boy was supposed to be in school at the moment, so why was he here? The best thing to do was pretend he didn't care; he hadn't been caught sneaking around._

"_I'm just grabbing some stuff…I'm running out of clothes at the hospital."_

"_Oh, okay…well…I guess…that's cool…uh…"_

_Shuichi walked by Toby and out the door without pausing, leaving the boy still standing there with a sad look on his face._

_End Flashback_

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Ms. Hift was in the middle of her meeting with Toby when the phone rang. Although she didn't usually answer the phone after being so rudely interrupted, the name on the caller ID made her pick up. How could Toby be phoning her right now, if she was in the middle of talking to him?

"Hello?"

Toby stared curiously at her; from where he was sitting, he couldn't see the name on the display, but he did know about the matron's strict values of interruption, and had been very surprised when she answered the phone.

"Well, you can talk to him yourself, he's sitting right in front of me." The blond boy wished that he had superpowers and could hear the other end of the conversation.

"Don't be so unreasonable, I'm sure he won't mind talking to you."

"…"

"Okay, just this once, but remember that I'm not your personal message lady. Goodbye."

Toby looked expectantly at her; Ms. Hift sighed impatiently, as though she was the one waiting for the important message.

"Mr. Retsuri wants you to meet him at the park nearby, he said you'd know which one, and that he'll be sitting by the stone wall, and he just wants to talk about something, he said you'd know what."

"Okay, thanks!" The boy got up to leave, but was stopped by a bony hand on his arm.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Uh…to meet Tai?"

"Don't take that tone with me! You will stay here, and we will finish our conversation, and when I've decided that you fully understand my point, I'll let you go." Toby sighed, this might take a long time, "The first thing we have to talk about, is how you never socialize with the other boys…"

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Shuichi sped down the hospital hallways, dodging carts, chairs, stretchers, and angry nurses who were pointing at the NO RUNNING signs on the walls. As he rounded the corner before Dr. James' office, he caught the sound of the doctor's voice, and brought himself to an abrupt stop.

Making an attempt to slow down his breath, and calm his hair, Shuichi slowly walked to the doctor's door, where he had just walked back to his desk after waving goodbye to someone, and knocked.

"Tai! There you are! I've been looking for you; you're always disappearing on me."

"Hi..uh…can I come in?"

"Sure." The doctor, sensing the serious tone in Shuichi's voice, closed the door behind him, not failing to notice the book tightly clutched in the boy's hands.

For a moment, he sat there silently; Dr.James finally decided to make the first move.

"So, what do you have there Tai?" The doctor saw his squirm at his words and wondered what he'd said. He found out soon enough.

"My name isn't Tai. It's Shuichi."

"Oh, right, sorry, Shwee…chee." Said boy rolled his eyes discreetly at the pronunciation, but let it go.

"Just say Shu."

"Okay." The man was relieved to have a shortcut like that, but he still would prefer to call the boy by his real name.

"Look, I know that you don't exactly believe me, about my name and everything, but I have proof." Instead of arguing the point, Dr. James decided to examine the book that was unceremoniously shoved at him, open to the very last page. What was he supposed to be looking for?

Soon, as he began to read, it became obvious. There were several mentions of a Shuichi, who appeared to be the man who wrote the book's boyfriend. And at the bottom, Tai's so called "evidence" was staring him in the face. A boy, who honestly did look incredibly similar to Tai, smiled happily out at him. But the doctor read the caption, and it said quite clearly that this boy was dead.

"Oh, Tai…"

"Shuichi. Can't you see? I'm him! Look!" he began to get frantic, pointing insanely at the picture, "Can't you see that it's me!"

"I can see that there is an uncanny resemblance between you and this young man, but this boy isn't even alive. Even if he was, he'd be three years older than you."

"But—"

"It's okay, it's common for amnesia victims to grasp at any clues they can, for their identity. But, we already know who you are. You're Tai Retsuri."

"No I am not!" Shuichi screamed, jumping up, "I am Shindou Shuichi of Bad Luck! I'm not going through some identity crisis; I remember who I am, and I'm not fucking Tai Retsuri!"

Before Dr. James could reason with him further, the boy had kicked over his chair angrily, and fled from the room, leaving the open book in the doctor's hand for his to wonder over the alikeness of the two boys.

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**Author's note**: Alright! I'm in the clear! It's all good, and I've finished the story! Just one last chapter to post, and then maybe the epilogue! Woo I'm excited!

So this chapter, sorry about the short scenes, and the tons of phone calls, but I couldn't figure out any other way to do it!

R&R


	20. Angel

**Author's Note: **Woot woot! Last chapter! Yippee it's done!...hmm…I'm getting a little sad, but its being over powered by relief…haha…my god, this chapter is like, completely filled with phone calls, which normally I don't like to do at all, but this time it just worked for me...enjoy!

**Chapter Twenty**

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Shuichi ran down the streets, tears flooding his face, once again, making it hard to breath. It was official: he was alone in the world, and had never felt more lonely.

Why couldn't anyone believe him? Was it so hard to accept that he'd gotten in a plane crash, hit his head, gotten amnesia, and accidentally been mistaken for a sixteen year old, while in reality he was a twenty-year old famous musician from Japan?

…okay, so maybe it was…but it wasn't completely impossible, it had a shred of credibility…sort of…

But that didn't matter, because none of the people were going to believe him. Shuichi walked into the park area where he was meeting Toby, and sat down against the stone wall. These people…they had no reason to believe him; they hadn't known either him, nor 'Tai' before, so all they knew was him being Tai. Their first opinion…that was it! He had to talk to someone he knew from before…besides Eiri. Eiri was obviously in some sort of denial.

But who was the most likely person to listen to reason? Not Tatsuha, that was for sure…and Ryuichi was out of the question (he'd probably think he was talking to a ghost). Maybe Hiro, but…

Suddenly, it became clear. Shuichi whipped out Toby's cell phone (it wouldn't hurt to borrow it for a few minutes) and started dialing the number, smirking slightly at the thought of the cost.

"Moshi moshi." A suspicious voice came over the line.

"Tohma-san?"

"Hai, who is this?"

"Well, this may be hard to believe, but…"

"How did you get this number?" Shuichi felt a pang of nostalgia; some people never change; Tohma was never one to put up with any crap.

"Uh, well, Eiri gave it to me." That was partially true, Eiri had originally given him the number for emergencies, before Tohma himself had finally trusted the singer enough to 'give' it to him officially, which meant he allowed Shuichi to phone him.

"Bullshit. Eiri only ever gve this number to one person, Shuichi."

"I know." Tohma was surprised to here the boy agree with him, he had been expecting some sort of excuse. But then as he thought about it, he understood the implications of the statement.

"You can't possibly be suggesting that you're Shuichi." Said boy was surprised at how quickly the man caught on.

"That's exactly it. I'm Shuichi." There was a long silence on the other end of the phone, during which Shuichi had about a million heart attacks.

"Do you have any proof?" The challenging tone of Tohma's voice caught him off-guard, but the boy quickly collected himself.

"The time that Taki Aizawa threatened Eiri, and you pushed him in front of a car, and he was in the hospital forever? Or the time that you and Mika-san bribed me into getting Eiri to talk to his family. And of course, the time that you tried to convince Eiri that I was the cause of his stress, and that he should go to New York to get away from me. Or—"

"What do you want from me? And where are you getting this information? Are you threatening me?"

"No! I just want you to believe me! I'm Shuichi!"

"I'm not sure if you realize that Shuichi is dead…" The boy wanted to cry at the sound of Tohma's cold voice; this was much harder than he'd expected!

"I realize that everyone thinks that I'm dead, but it's not true. There was this big mix-up, and…" Shuichi quickly outlined the events of the past months to Tohma. "…but when I went to talk to Yuki, he acted like he didn't recognize me and—"

"You talked to Eiri?" Tohma cut in, his voice dangerous and low.

"Y-yes…but—"

"Look, Shindou-san," Shuichi thought his heart would burst at the sound of his name; finally someone believed him! "Your story, while unlikely, seems slightly possible. And I'm very sorry that such a terrible thing had to happen to you. But unfortunately, I can't allow you to ever contact Eiri again."

"…excuse me?"

"Eiri spent too long trying to get over you. Apparently you were even more of an inconvenience in death than you were alive…"

"But…Tohma-san…"

"I'm warning you, Shindou-san, stay far away from Eiri." The dial tone in Shuichi's ear infuriated him, and he almost threw the phone across the park. But he decided to try one more thing. He hadn't wanted it to come to this, but…

Sighing, he dialed the number that was imprinted into his mind from calling so many times, praying that the man hadn't changed cell phones recently.

"Hello?" The deep voice answered his prayers.

"Hello, Yuki?"

"It's you. I'm hanging up." Shuichi didn't know what to do to keep the older man listening, so he blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"Wait! Please, just listen. I'm at the park near your apartment, the one near that really tall glass building. I'm sitting against the stone wall."

"And why do I care?"

"Please Yuki…just come and let me explain. And if you don't want, I'll never talk to you again." Was this a good idea? Shuichi found that he didn't really care at the moment; he just had to see Eiri as soon as possible.

"Wh—"

"Aishiteru Yuki."

Eiri was left staring angrily at his cell phone. The only reason he'd answered it was because he'd thought it was Tohma when it showed up as a blocked number.

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Tohma's phone rang again. Expecting it to be Shuichi again, he almost turned it off, but fortunately he got a glimpse of the name.

"Hello, Tohma?"

"Eiri? Thank god, I've been worried."

"Worried, why?"

"Just…a bad feeling…"

"Okay, you know how you said to call you if anything weird happened? Well, this boy just called me, I've seen him before, and he told me that he was…Shuichi, and I told him to leave me alone, but then he called. Something about wanting to see me." Instead of Tohma going into instant shock mode, Eiri was very surprised to hear the man swear quietly.

"That damn brat!"

"...Tohma, did you know about this?"

"That boy just called my cell phone. He told me that he was Shuichi, and I had to believe him, then he went on about the plane accident and something about amnesia and a dead boy, and how there had been a mix-up, and that I had to tell you that it really was him."

There was silence for so long on Eiri's end that his brother-in-law began to think that the man had left. Then he spoke.

"So…what did you tell him?"

"I told him that you didn't need any more hassle, and to leave you alone, and if he ever contacted you again, I'd personally hunt him down."

Tohma heard a strange choking noise on the other end of the phone, but he decided to let Eiri think what he had just told him out. That turned out to be his downfall.

"So," Eiri began, a few seconds later, "How did he get your cell phone number?" Tohma felt the cold wave of dread that comes with getting called out on a lie. He tried to bluff his way out.

"Well…well, I supposed that he got in from an inside source, or a—"

"Bullshit Tohma. You know very well that there are no inside sources when it comes to you, and the boy is in fucking New York. How did he get your number?"

"He could have, if he was per say, a very determined individual, somehow obtained the number…from…someone." Tohma winced; he knew there was no way that Eiri was buying that.

"Don't lie to me you bastard. You've done it enough for one lifetime. I'll ask one more time, and then I'm going to go find the boy."

"No!" Tohma yelled, before he could stop himself, "I mean, he's dangerous. He could hurt you! And he looks so much like…him…it could seriously hurt you mentally."

"Oh god," came a whisper from the other man, "he doesn't just look like Shuichi…"

"Eiri, no!"

"…he is Shuichi. That's it, isn't it? You knew that he was alive, but you lied to me! You bastard, how can you live like that, saying you care for me, but you tried to keep away my boyfriend? Are you even human?"

"Eiri, no, it's not true…" Tohma could hear the writer laughing at his feeble protest, and he knew it was useless to keep up the pretense.

"I'm sorry…Eiri, I'm so sorry, I just…wanted to protect you…"

"'Sorry' isn't going to fix it Tohma. I really don't know if anything will…" For a moment, Tohma thought that Eiri was considering what to say next, but then he heard the dial tone. The man could taste his failure in his mouth. How could he have done this to his Eiri? What was he going to do? Eiri hated him now…and that could ruin his life forever…

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Eiri stared at the phone in blank rage. It occurred to him that this whole thing was partially his fault; he had always let Tohma baby him around, and threaten the 'mean' people who were out to get him. But to go this far? To have intimate knowledge that would make his life a thousand times better, and not to share it with him? Just because it 'might damage' him? Tohma had to be dealt with very soon. It was on his to-do list, right after finding Shuichi, and somehow, explaining the whole mess to him…

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Toby stood outside the doors of the orphanage, debating whether or not to meet Tai. He was pretty sure that he was going to get in trouble, and this meeting almost definitely had something to do with his missing cell phone.

Was it worth going and getting yelled at, if he got the chance to explain himself? Maybe he could get back into Tai's good graces, and Tai would stop pretending to be this other person. Then again, he might just get yelled at…

Deciding anyways to go meet Tai, Toby hitched his collar up around his neck, flung his mop of blond hair out of his eyes, and began the walk to the park.

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Shuichi sat curled up against the wall behind the school. Rain dripped down his neck, and into his eyes from his hair. Furiously, he shook his head, sending a spray of water in every direction.

"Hmm," A voice floated down from up above. Shuichi knew without looking who it was. He stood up and turned to glare at Dan, closely followed by Greg.

"He looks like a dog, smells like dog, and he even shakes like a dog…"

"He must be a dog!" Shuichi rolled his eyes at the ridiculousness of their dialogue.

"What do you want?" The two stopped laughing to grin at each other, and then leer at him.

"We heard that you were going back to the hospital, but now you're back here again…"

"What happened, did your boyfriend there dump you or something? And now, you have to come home and face that fag you dumped to go there. Now...there's a name for that sort of thing, isn't there?"

"Karma, Greg?"

"Well, no. I was thinking something more along the lines of…irony."

Shuichi felt tears spring to his eyes; he tightly clenched his fists, digging his nails into his palm to distract himself. The hopelessness of his situation was threatening to overwhelm him, and he tried to think of something else. His tactic didn't work.

"…And so, we've decided to initiate you right here, right now…"

The boy whipped back to the conversation. What had happened while he was spacing out? It soon became obvious; Dan was advancing towards him with something concealed in his hand. Frantically, Shuichi tried to back away, only to bump into Greg's waiting arms. He struggled violently, but to no avail; he was stuck.

Dan pulled back his fingers and revealed a small pocket knife in his hand. It glinted maliciously in the light. Strangely enough, as it came closer to his face, Shuichi felt more and more distant, until he was watching the whole thing from the distance, a bored observer.

"What'cha gonna do, pretty boy?" Dan sneered into his face, "Do something. I dare you."

"He won't do anything!" Greg yelled, "Look at him, he's too scared."

"Well, I'm not." There was a new voice, but Shuichi didn't really care; he was much too interested in the way the chain links of the fence interlocked with each other…so complex, yet so simple.

Just as the knife was an inch from his face, Shuichi felt Greg's arms give way behind him, and he fell back, making no attempt to break his fall. He was too busy trying to figure out why he was falling. A thump jarred his body as his head sickly smacked against the ground. It was a struggle to pull himself into a sitting position without fainting, but Shuichi had to watch the current events unfolding.

Dan and Greg had now been cornered against the fence, with identical looks of fear on their face. Shuichi struggled to see the person's face that was carrying out his dream, but they were turned away. All he could see was blond hair sweeping the person's neck. In his disoriented state, Shuichi found himself wondering how many people in America had blond hair. It seemed like they all did. This could be anyone who was saving him.

For some reason, the thought struck him as funny, and he started giggling hysterically.

Still though, he watched as Dan attempted to be a brave wise-ass, and was rewarded with a powerful right hook to the jaw. Greg watched frightfully, shaking so much that he could barely stand. But he grabbed Dan by the arm, and ran the two of them out of there as fast as he possibly could.

The world started to spin, and go black around the edges. Maybe he had hit his head harder than he had originally thought. Shuichi tried to unscramble his thoughts as his blond haired rescuer walked over to him, but all he could think about was the hair. Who did he know who had blond hair?

"…Tobias?" His rescuer frowned as he bent down to look the confused boy in the eyes.

"Shuichi? Is it really you?" Just before he blacked out, said boy stared up, tears falling down his cheeks. The sun, having come out from behind the clouds, framed the head of blond hair, giving it a glowing look. Shuichi smiled; his angel was there for him.

"Yuki…"

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**Author's Note:** So, when I started writing this fic, right around the end of May, beginning on June, I never expected it to take THIS long to finish, and I certainly never ever expected an ending like this. A lot of this stuff was never supposed to happen, but it did, and I'm pretty happy with it…

So that's the end, might be an epilogue, maybe not, I think I've said pretty much all that I've wanted to say…so basically, all that's left to say is that I love you all, all my readers (even if you didn't review, I still love you) and my reviewers, you are my motivation! I never would have finished without you, so I love you so much!

Wow, this is starting to sound like some award speech, so I'm …uh…signing off now, but thanks a million times to all the reviewers again, I LOVE YOU!


	21. Epilogue

**Author's Note: **Okay, so here's the epilogue, by demand…I actually had a different one, that I wrote while I was supposed to be writing an English essay, but it was really strained and retarded, and didn't really clear anything up…of course…this one may also do the same thing, and I'm pretty sure that by having this ending, I'm leaving myself WIDE OPEN for a sequel, which strangely, I am now considering…maybe. I dunno…

It's short…sorry…

The point is, ENJOY!

**Epilogue**

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**X**

Eiri stared at Shuichi in awe. He had forgotten how cute the boy looked when he was sleeping. Sighing, the writer wished that they were some place a little more private - they were currently on a plane back to Japan. Shuichi, having fallen asleep almost immediately, was now curled up against Eiri, not relinquishing his death grip on the writer's arm.

The past few weeks had gone by like a dream for Eiri, ever since he'd had those frenzied phone calls, and realized that he really was dealing with his boyfriend. He'd ran as fast as he could to the park, only to find some assholes were trying to hurt Shuichi, who had been in some sort of catatonic state. At that point, the anger that had been building since talking to Tohma took over his body, and from there he only remembered flashes.

_Hitting that kid square in the face, and the sickeningly satisfying noise._

_Trying to talk to Shuichi, only to have him pass out._

_Collapsing to the ground, hugging Shuichi's limp body to his, afraid that he'd lost him again. The tears and ragged sobs that wouldn't stop._

_Some blond kid coming up and seeing the unconscious boy, screaming at him, and running to get the police and an ambulance._

_Trying to explain to the police what had happened. Not letting go of his love until the ambulance men pried him away._

_Seeing the blood on his hands, and then blackness._

The next morning, he'd waken up in a hospital bed, to the welcome sight of Shuichi leaning over with a gigantic smile from ear to ear He was practically radiating happiness. In addition, a man wearing a doctor's coat and strangely, (although considering Shuichi's apparent involvement, not so strangely) there was a mass of children crowded around the bed, all staring at him.

Despite this, Eiri had no qualms about pulling the singer down into a long due kiss. The familiar taste of Shuichi was like a drug; he deepened the kiss. Surprisingly, the singer didn't struggle, instead he participated willingly, making it clear to Eiri that he'd been missed too.

When they finally came up for air, it was to find that all the children, who didn't have Dr. James convering their eyes with anything available – ranging from hands, arms, his coat, papers, and even a foot – staring at the with half fascination, half-disgust.

Finally, the silence was broken by one of the girls. "Ewww! Kissing!" This seemed to voice most of the other children's opinions, because they agreed heartily. Except…

"Are you a girl?" One of the older boys pointed at Eiri, to the writer's horror.

"No! Do I look like a girl to you, brat?"

""But…if you're both boys…" He let his sentence trail off.

"If you love each other, that's all that matters," Shuichi replied firmly, snuggling down in Eiri's side. The boy nodded, and opened his mouth to speak, but Dr. James interrupted.

"Well," he said loudly, "It's about time for us to get going kids. Say goodbye to Tai…you might not see him again." The kids gasped dramatically, and threw themselves onto the bed to mob Shuichi. Even Eiri got hugged a few times, and then just as suddenly they were alone in the room. Looking at each other awkwardly.

"So…I guess we need to talk…"

X

X

X

X

X

Eiri smiled at the memory. The "talking" had ended up leading to more kissing, which had led to no shirts, which had lead to…well…not much actually. Shuichi had still been sufferering from a concussion, and a mild infection in his arm.

Instead, the writer had ended up down in the lobby, phoning Annie, and telling her everything that had happened, and then found out that she was moving out of her apartment to live with Chase…that day in fact.

When he'd gone back to his apartment to collect his stuff and say goodbye, she was already gone, her apartment empty save a last farewell note to him.

X

X

X

X

X

Shuichi stirred from the comfortable spot. The familiar pillow of Eiri almost lured him to sleep again, but turning slightly, he felt something poking into his side, which turned out to be a cell phone. Toby's cell phone. Shit. He hadn't worn this jacket since that night when he'd run into Dan and Greg.

Maybe he could mail it back…or come back for a visit. Smiling, Shuichi remembered how that day at the hospital, when Eiri had left, Toby had come to say goodbye.

The blond boy had desperately tried to make small talk for a few minutes - which Shuichi had gone along with, even though Toby kept calling him "Tai" – but eventually they had nothing left to say that was safe, so Toby took a deep breath, and lunged into apologies.

He was sorry that he hadn't believed him

He was sorry that he hadn't come right away to protect him.

He was sorry about what had happened…about the kisses.

As Shuichi watched him talk, he realized that Toby was really just a confused teen, like he'd used to be...well, not quite like him, but maybe how Yuki might have been, in another life. He reassured the blond boy that everything was okay, it was all forgiven, and Eiri wasn't even mad about it, given the circumstances. Although, he didn't bother mentioning a similar incident between Eiri and some Texan hooker….

Then, Toby had stopped talking for a moment, and shuffled his feet around, staring intensely at the floor.

"Is something wrong?"

"No…just…"

"What?"

"Uh…well…it's actually my birthday soon…really soon…in about a month."

Shuichi didn't understand the implications of this comment, so instead he waited for the boy to continue.

"…And…um…well, then I'm leaving the orphanage…I'll be too old…"

"Oh…" The singer frowned. But this meant that he wouldn't have a home, or anything! Toby would have to live on the streets, or something just as bad! He'd have to sell himself for money, and—

"Uh, Tai…er…Shoe…er…whatever, hello? Are you there?" The blond boy waved his hand in front of Shuichi's face, who was deep in panic mode.

"I was just saying that I have this guy who I'm going to share an apartment with, but he has to wait for his lease to finish up, it's not for about six months, and then he's gonna get me a pretty good job as a bartender where he works…"

"Oh, so you have somewhere to stay," Shuichi breathed out a sigh of relief, "That's good."

"Well…actually, I don't. Not until about six months. And Ms. Hift is really eager for me to leave…something about me not fitting in…" He grinned at Shuichi, who smiled back, sharing the joke.

"So…what are you going to do?"

"Well, I was hoping that you could help me there…"

About an hour later, Eiri came back, and they immediately settled in the long, tedious process of proving Shuichi's identity, and clearing up all the legal mess with it. It had taken weeks, but finally everything had been cleared up, and that brought it to now, flying back home on an airplane.

Twisting his neck slightly, Shuichi peered in the space between the seat to check up on Tobias. The blond boy was sleeping awkwardly with his head on Tatsuha's shoulder. Everyone, (except Eiri suspiciously) had been surprised when the monk had shown up in the New York airport, to come home with them, and it seemed that despite the language barrier, Tobias and the black-haired teen got along pretty well. In fact, they were going to be sharing an apartment in Tokyo, under Eiri's name, as it turned out that Tatsuha needed someone to share with while he attended private school in the city.

Although Shuichi was very cautious about leaving Tobias alone with Tatsuha, he figured that the blond boy could fend for himself, as a New Yorker, and besides…Tobias was honestly enough like the monk that maybe Shuichi should be worried about Tatsuha…

In any case, it was going to be an interesting six months…

Plus, Shuichi was nervous about going back after everything. He had been warned about people accusing him of faking his death for publicity, but he thought he could handle it. It would be weird to see everybody again though…would they act strange around him? Even Hiro and Suguru? Shuichi smiled; he missed his best friends so much…would they be mad? Would they think that it was all for publicity? He hoped not…

But for now, he pushed those thoughts from his mind. Looking up, Shuichi saw the elusive smile of Eiri's, and grinned back. He didn't need to be nervous; he had Eiri back and that's all he needed now.

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**Author's Note: **Alright, finally, an ending. It doesn't go any further than this, nope it doesn't. I know, this is shorter than the other chapters, but epilogues usually are...I think…So anyways, thank you all my wonderful reviewers, I love you so much, and I'd name you, but I'm afraid of the authorities…but you'll hear from me in your review replies! hands out 'wonderful reviewer award' to you all

Thanks guys!


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